SWF Main Event 9/18/04

We open with a video package, detailing Extreme's jump to being a full time wrestler, and subsequent relinquishing of his booking powers, as announced last week. The video ends with Extreme saying that his replacement, the new SWF "Commissioner" would be named right here TONIGHT! Then, we skip the intro, and go LIVE to Vance McMillian, who is in the ring with a mic to address us:

Vance: Welcome everyone to SWF Main Event! (HUGE pop) As you can tell, with me in the ring, I am here for a big announcement, and that is to introduce the new head booker of the SWF, the "Commissioner" as he is to be known. Extreme sent me out to do this, since as chairman of the SWF Board of Directors, I should be the one to make it official by welcoming the Commish aboard. (business like) Now, I think it's important to explain how this person came to be chosen. This individual was handpicked by Extreme Superstar himself, a person he chose for the role a few weeks back in anticipation of his potential move to becoming an active wrestler. To find the right person for the job, Extreme says he looked to wrestling's past, where he draws much of his inspiration. He studied all the various authority figures in wrestling history to find one that fit how the SWF should be run. One of his all-time favorite wrestlers had served as an authority figure for both the former WWF & WCW, bringing his no-nonsense, never say die, take no prisoners attitude to office with him, making decisions that benefitted the fans, which is just what Extreme wants the SWF Commissioner to do. Extreme used this man as the model for his replacement, scouring the globe for the individual who fit the bill. And he found that person, a man who is almost a carbon copy of Extreme's legendary wrestling hero that inspired his mold for the perfect SWF Commissioner. Without further ado, on behalf of the SWF Board of Directors, ladies and gentleman, the newly appointed SWF Commissioner........."Rowdy" ROBERT Piper!

The fans seem confused, as does Dean in the booth, when the familiar Roddy Piper bagpipes tune hits, with EXTREME SUPERSTAR walking to the ring, clad in a red kilt w/ the traditional belt and satchel thing (with black jean shorts under the kilt), a white red ringer shirt with "Hot Rob!" written on it like a replica of Roddy's famous "Hot Rod!" shirt, with a black leather jacket over it, just like Roddy! The fans start to laugh, popping huge, seeing Extreme is still seemingly in charge. Vance is all smiles, as is Extreme, who made no effort to disguise his face, blatantly using this character to stay the booker. Extreme.....err......."Rowdy" Robert Piper (RRP) takes the mic from Vance, after shaking his hand, ready to address the fans:

RRP(smiling, playing it for laughs, not disguising his voice): Well, well, well fans. Since you don't know who I am (big laughs) I better introduce myself. I'm ROWDY Robert Piper, the NEW man in charge around here! (drawing a rather large pop, the fans seem to get it) Some of the guys in the back apparently weren't too keen on Extreme running the company if he was gonna be wrestler too (HUGE boos, RRP nods in agreement), they have been causing a big fuss ever since Extreme started to wrestle, even part-time, so he felt it was only fair to step away, and let someone totally new run things (more laughs). While I don't know Extreme too well other than a few meetings (more laughs, RRP smiles), I can tell you that if this (all fired up) was MY company, I'd tell those guys to STICK IT, and keep running it however I damn well pleased! (HUGE pop, followed by "Rowdy" chant) Now, I'd like to..........

Anything further is cut off by Cash Inc's theme, and all 3 members of Cash Inc storm the ring to massive heel heat, looking angry. BDM has a mic, angrily addressing RRP (who is pissed) face to face, with his buddies backing him up:

BDM(angry): What the hell is this Extreme?! You think this is funny, pretending to step down, and keeping control? That my friend is a SEVERE conflict of interest (HUGE boos), we've gone round and round about this before!

RRP(angry as well): Look here friend, you and your boys better stand down, shut up, and listen to what I am about to tell you! (HUGE pop) First off, this isn't your company, as much as you'd like it to be, Extreme Superstar beat your ass every time out to prevent it from being your company (another huge pop), so you have NO RIGHT coming down here, saying ANYTHING about the way the SWF is run! (more loud cheering) You, your buddies, and some others took issue with Extreme Superstar being the booker even when he was wrestling occasionally, then he decided to be a full-time wrestler, and stepped down from his booking duties, putting "Rowdy" Robert Piper in charge, so there you go, Extreme isn't doing the booking now.

BDM(angry): Listen to me EXTREME, just stop ok? Stop this charade, be a MAN, and do the right thing by giving control to someone else! (HUGE boos)

RRP: "Rowdy" Robert Piper is the Commish, Extreme is just a wrestler now, so technically, I gave someone else control. I appeased your requests, so quit whining! (another big pop) Ok, you want me to stop the charade? Fine. I'll tell you this straight up, *I* own this company, not you, this is the SWF, the SUPERSTAR Wrestling Federation, and in case you don't get it, the "Superstar" part stands for EXTREME Superstar! (big pop) Besides, why do you have to get so uptight, I've always booked things fair, the people seem to like it (HUGE pop), so why be the wet blanket, and ruin everyone's good time? Coming out as "Rowdy" Robert Piper was a fun little way for me to announce that I wasn't going to give into the backstage pressure and step down, but I can see, it pisses you off. You see it as a slap in the face, like I'm rubbing it in that I'm going to stay the booker. Is that how you feel?

BDM(angry): Yes. Yes it is.

RRP(smiles) Well sir, you are RIGHT, that's EXACTLY what I'm doing! (HUGE pop, Cash Inc is pissed) I don't give a good god damn what a few whiners think about me running MY own company! (HUGE pop) So what? I just so happened to gain a WEE bit of a fan following, becoming more popular than you, deal with it! (HUGE pop, RRP gets serious) I know what this is really all about, you don't fool me. It's jealousy, pure and simple. I've been fair since DAY ONE, (points to all 3 Cash Inc members) even to you guys, who any normal boss would have tossed on their asses after trying to take over their company. The only reason you are so up in arms is because I have eclipsed you, I've become the top draw, something you all want to be.

BDM(obviously effected by Extreme's speech): Enough now "Dr. Extreme". Let's get back to this "Rowdy" Robert Piper issue. You just said it was meant to piss us off, it worked, so congratulations, now let's be done with it.


RRP(smiles): You know what, I kinda dig this getup, having Scottish roots myself, and the fans seem to appreciate the change (big pop), I'm gonna stick with it, "Rowdy" Robert Piper is STILL the SWF Commissioner! (HUGE pop, Cash Inc is angry)

BDM(furious): DAMN IT! JUST STOP WITH THE GAMES! (calms down) Alright, "Rowdy Robert Piper", tell you what, right here tonight, you, versus all 3 of us, BY YOURSELF, a handicap match! If we win, you stop this stupid nonsense, and appoint a REAL Commissioner, if you win (scoffs) you can keep doing (disgusted) whatever you call this. If you really are the man you say, you'll have no problem accepting.

RRP: You three versus me? (Cash Inc all nod) Typical tag rules, one fall, what?

BDM(confers with his friends): Ok, tag rules, we guarantee no funny stuff, but you have to pin all three of us.

RRP: You're on! (HUGE pop) But let me say this. While you've gone toe to toe with Extreme Superstar, you've never been in the ring with "Rowdy" Robert Piper, and I'll tell you something boys, he LOVES to fight! (HUGE pop)

BDM: We'll see you in the ring. (Cash Inc walk off)

RRP nods, then tosses his mic to Vance while his theme plays, and Vance starts the show with his famous "Let's KICK IT OFF!" before the opening video finally plays.

Buffalo Billy & Lt. Jim Dingle vs Alabama Man & Walter
Interesting teams here, as Billy & Dingle have tried their hands at tag competition before, and Vance & Dean inform us they are giving it another shot versus Alabama Man, who is trying to find a name for himself, and Walter, the Hardcore champ, who is in this since the SWF doesn't want to shake up the title scene before we get the fan voted War Games lineup later tonight. Billy starts with AM, and does well, until AM uses his power, forcing the tag to Dingle. Dingle uses some chain wrestling to slow it down, then AM tags Walter. Walter pummels Dingle, so Dingle tags back to Billy. Billy takes some punishment, and apparently likes it, before mounting a comeback, showing some decent brawling, and nice tech skills. Walter tags back to AM, after he is overwhelmed by a sudden burst of psychotic violence from Billy, surprising the announcers, fans, and everyone at ringside. Billy's eyes are wide, as he screams and rips at his hair, revealing his insane side as AM has no idea how to react. Billy mauls him, and soon nails the Buffalo Bomb, as a stunned Dingle snaps out of his bewilderment to hold Walter off as Billy scores the pin.
*Winners* Buffalo Billy & Lt. Jim Dingle

Post Match: As Billy's music plays, the clearly unstable man returns to his giggling and smiling bizarre ways, and encourages a freaked out Dingle to dance with him. Dingle reluctantly obliges, as the announcers wonder about Billy's state of mind, going from just weird, to enraged madman in an instant.

We see a promo spot for War Games, showing scenes of tanks firing, and clips of the 5 man teams set to square off in the main event match of the same name. When we return live, Vance says the lineup will be announced before the main event. Dean says the show will consist of the previously announced main event, four title defenses by the champions not in the main event, and 3 grudge matches, picked by fans to settle various issues. Dean also points out the stipulations for each match were voted on by fans as well!


Jules & Silkky Smooth vs Tony Ramon & The Mercenary
This match is apparently set to resolve issues after Jules beat Merc for the TV title at Heatwave, and Tony had a bit of a scuffle with Silkky after a match two weeks ago. This works out good, since Jules was brought to the SWF by Silkky, so their teaming works. Tony however, after breaking up his teaming with The Don, seems to have sown the seeds for a face turn (with people starting to pop for him), and his teaming with Merc is explained pre-match by him telling us Merc asked to team with him so he could get his hands on Jules. With all that out of the way, the four all engage in a brawl in the ring, which the ref has a hard time containing, so he lets it go. Jules pairs off with Merc, while Silkky duels with Tony. Jules takes out Merc, as Tony fights off Silkky. Jules comes over to do a two on one attack, but the ref tries to force him out, so the match can finally get officially underway. Jules pushes the ref aside, and the bell rings for the DQ, as Tony slides out of the ring, to avoid a handicap beat down. Fans cheer Tony a bit as he walks to the back, seeing him as innocent in this scenario.
*Winners, by DQ*Tony Ramon & The Mercenary

We head backstage, where Angelica is set to interview "Rowdy Robert Piper", who even has his own dressing room! Angelica knocks, and Extreme answers, in his RRP gear. Angelica, smiling, starts the interview:

Angelica: So, "Rowdy" Robert Piper, what are your thoughts going into the handicap match versus all three members of Cash Inc tonight? After all, aren't you worried about the deck being stacked against you, and losing your new position as SWF Commissioner?

RRP(flirting): First of all, you can just call me Robert. And, before we go any further, forgive me if I'm out of line, but you are a very pretty lass if I say so, Extreme Superstar is lucky to have such a fine, classy woman like you on his arm (fans, and Angelica laugh, enjoying the joke). But, oh, sorry, back on topic. The deck may be stacked up against me, but I'm ready. I need to show that I'm not going to take any nonsense, or be bossed around by anyone, and taking Cash Inc on in a handicap match is the prefect scenario do that. Am I worried about losing my job? (gets serious) No. (big pop) You see, if Rowdy Robert Piper is anything, he's a fighter. Like I warned them earlier, I LOVE to fight! (another big pop, RRP gets riled up) Three on one, four on one, sixty on one, I just don't care! (big pop) Bring all you got boys, I'm prepared to come out swinging! You want to talk War Games?! We'll start a war here tonight, no point waiting 6 days for the PPV! The Rowdy One is set to bring THIS war directly to your front door TONIGHT! So all you at home, strap in tight, put grandma Gertrude to bed, and crank the volume up loud, because Rowdy Robert Piper is set to go! BDM, Jahalaman Jaffe, Joe Money, all three of you better be prepared, get your battle plans mapped out, stock up on weapons, and say your last rites, whatever you have to do! When that bell rings, this entire arena is going to be turned on his ear, as Rowdy Robert Piper lays the law down on Cash Inc's asses! (the fans pop massive, as RRP storms off, completely keyed up for his match)

Angelica(energized by RRP): Well, there you have it, Rowdy Robert Piper is ready for tonight! (holding her earpiece, as someone tells her something on it, her expression turns serious) Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed of a breaking development. It appears that the three females of The Bell Kids, Jessie, Lisa, and Kelly have been kidnaped (Vance & Dean are shocked at the news). We are now going to bring in the SWF's own Lt. Jim Dingle, who is working on the case to tell us more. (Dingle walks in, looking somber as well) Lieutenant, can you let us in on just what happened?

Dingle: Well, the ladies were last seen near the catering area about 10 minutes ago, where they were enjoying some cupcakes from a tray, cupcakes nobody is sure where they came from. It appears that these cupcakes were drugged, and the ladies were left unconscious from eating them, as a masked man was seen carrying the two of the ladies off, loading them into a white conversion van in the parking area, with the third woman already inside. The man, who wore all black, assaulted a parking security officer when he came to see what was going on, then sped off. We are still piecing things together, the evidence is all being taken for examination, and police are scouring the area for the van. As for the man, he is said to be about 6 feet tall, and somewhat slender. I can assure you all...........

A crew member rushes to the scene, and delivers an envelope to Dingle, apparently from his mystery stalker! Dingle opens it, and it says "I told you it would start tonight. Catch me, if you can!". Dingle seems disturbed by this, and walks off, as a bewildered Angelica has no choice but to toss things back to the ring, for the next match, promising to update us, if more comes out on the kidnaping.



Octane, & The Black Dragons vs Petey, JuJu, & Daimon
This is somewhat preparation for War Games, as Octane, the Dragons, Petey, and JuJu are all set to be in the War Games main event. Petey announces beforehand that while he hasn't patched things up with Daimon, formerly Yeti, from their past alliance and split, he and JuJu needed a partner, and the monestrous Daimon was a good choice. JuJu starts with Quow, laying down a major beating after withstanding an early flurry from him. JuJu beats Quow to the point victory is in sight, when Quow makes the desperation tag to Shadow. JuJu beats on him, until Shadow scores an enziguri, and almost pins him with a senton off the top rope. JuJu wisely reaches for a tag, allowing Petey to come in, as Shadow, not wanting to risk being worn down again, tags in the SWF champion, Octane, to a big time pop. Petey, not wanting to mix it up with Octane, tags in Daimon. Daimon unloads on Octane, but the champ fights back, and drops the big man with a signature running big boot! Octane goes for the pin, but Petey sneaks in, and breaks it at 2 before the Dragons can cut him off. Octane starts to continue his assault, when Daimon starts to come back, before Octane nails a chokeslam on the massive man! Petey runs in to prevent a pin, as the Dragons rush in to cut him off! This draws in JuJu, who takes both Dragons down with a KILLER double clothesline! The ref has no choice but try to get them out of the ring, as Octane has Daimon pinned! As Petey/JuJu brawl with the Dragons, and the ref is tied up with that, Faith & Devotion run from the crowd to help Daimon! The two men swarm Octane, beating him to the ground! Then, yet another man runs to the ring, The Janitor! Janitor, being a member of the fan favorite War Games team along with Octane & the Dragons comes down with his broom, swinging for the fences on F&D! The fans are rabid for this, as Janitor saves Octane from F&D, with Daimon having rolled near his corner, still out of it. Seeing this all, Petey/JuJu turn the ref's focus to Janitor, and Janitor takes off, as the Petey/JuJu stop their pounding on the Dragons, calling for the ref to DQ their opponents due to his involvement! But, the ref saw no actual physicality, so he says no! This is chaos, as Octane & Daimon are laid out on the mat, with F&D out cold outside of the ring, and the Dragons dazedly walking back to their corners, then the indignant Petey/JuJu go to their corners too, pissed they couldn't pick up the DQ win. Octane tags in Shadow, the fresher of the two Dragons, who goes right at Daimon, who is just making it to his knees on the other side of the ring. Daimon is in perfect position for his Flying Wizard finisher! Shadow runs to hit the move, as Petey discreetly slaps Daimon for the tag. The ref saw the tag, but Shadow didn't as, he nails the move on Daimon, Petey storms in, and catches Shadow as he gets up with the Piece of Pizzazz! Petey quickly covers Shadow for the 1-2-3! They stole this one!
*Winners* Petey, JuJu, & Daimon

Post Match: As Octane & The Dragons try to get up, Petey & JuJu head for the hills, celebrating their sneaky, but fair victory, leaving Daimon still out on the canvas. On the floor, F&D start to stir, and officials come down to clear everyone out of the ring, as Dean Bokerlund is going to announce the War Games lineup in a minute we are told by Vance in the booth.

We cut to another promo for the upcoming Halloween Hell PPV, set to take place on Halloween night in Extreme Superstar's birthplace of Key West Florida. This ad starts with orange text on a black screen, saying "Halloween is a night for darkness, and this year, the darkness that strikes Key West beckons him.......home." Then we hear Extreme Superstar's theme music, as loud crowd cheering is heard, and Extreme's logo hits the screen, followed by a woman's blood curdling scream and her saying "HE'S RETURNED FOR US ALL!", as silver text says "Prepare for the Extreme Homecoming" under the logo. As the scream fades, the screen shifts to a beautiful overhead look at daytime Key West, which turns to darkness, as a deep man's voice declares "Key West gets Extreme........again.", with the Halloween Hell logo, and PPV information appearing on screen. The ad fades as we go back live, where Dean is in the ring to announce the fan voted War Games card.

Dean: It is now time to announce the full War Games lineup, determined by YOU, the fans (big pop)! As you already know, War Games comes at you live in 6 days, Friday September 24th, and in the main event War Games cage match, we'll see The team now known as The Army of Extreme, captained by General Extreme Superstar (HUGE pop), teammates Octane, The Black Dragons, and The Janitor (large pop for the team) take on their opponents, now billed as The Cash Inc Army, captained by General Billion Dollar Man (HUGE boos), Jahalaman Jaffe, Joe Money, Petey Pizzazz, & JuJu (mega boos for the team). Now, we find out the vote winning undercard! First, the title matches.

Dean starts with the U.S. title match, where the champion The Freedom Fighter, will face.......Mike Suicide! And it's a Ladder match! Next, the Television title match. TV champ, Jules will defend against TWO men, as Jim Dingle & Buffalo Billy shockingly were tied for first place! It will be a 3 Way Dance! The SWF 6 Man champs, The Bell Kids, will defend against their enemies, The Breakfast Club! It will be a Last Team Standing match! Apparently, it works like a regular Last Man Standing match, but goes until one entire team can no longer get up! In our last title match, champion Walter, will defend against the man he scored the upset over at Heatwave, Jack Suicide! And that will be a HIGH INCIDENT MATCH! In this type of match, the combatants fight on a scaffold suspended 20 feet above the ring, and continues until one man is knocked off, sending him crashing through the tables stacked up below!

Dean then announces the "Grudge" matches. First up, to settle the Faith & Devotion's fight against immorality, they will face Sex Connection in a Hardcore match! F&D are allowed to compete in that sort of match since fans voted on it! To play up on the Good Ol' Boys vs Generation Gap feud, Tex Gentry will face Disco Danny in a "Southern" Strap match! In Strap matches, participants are linked together by the wrist with a 10 foot leather strap, which they can use to whip their opponent with. You have to drag your opponent by the strap, and touch all four corners to win. In the final grudge match, Tony Ramon will face his new rival Silkky Smooth in a Stretcher match! In this contest, there will be a stretcher next to the ring, and in order to win, you must put your opponent on it, then wheel them to the top of the aisle, past a designated line.

With the lineup announced, Dean walks back to the announce booth, where Vance reminds us to tune in to the SWF Awards show, honoring the best in the 1st year of the SWF. The special will air on September 29th, in place of a night after War Games edition of SWF Main Event. Dean makes it back to the booth, and we go to the ring for the main event!




Main Event: Handicap match: "Rowdy" Robert Piper vs Cash Inc
Cash Inc come out first to massive boos, awaiting their opponent. Extreme does in fact come out as RRP, using the Roddy Piper WWF bagpipe theme, and still sporting the kilt and shirt, but no jacket. He's got his black shorts still on under the kilt, and has kneepads and black boots. The fans pop big for RRP, getting into the spirit of the whole thing, as the announcer bills him as RRP, not Extreme, and says he hails from Scotland! Cash Inc are pissed at this, while RRP dances a jig to the music, much to the fans' delight, further infuriating Cash Inc. RRP seems to be ready to go, set to wrestle in his full getup! Joe Money is selected to start for his team as the bell rings and BDM/Jaffe step out to their place on the apron. RRP comes on strong, firing off some furious jabs, followed by a poke to the eye, a total Roddy Piper move! The fans pick up on it too, chanting "Piper! Piper!". RRP dishes out the punishment, dominating Joe with his straight ahead offense, cranking it up a notch in the brawling department to better reflect the real Piper. Joe starts to fight back, but RRP uses a discreet mule kick to the nether region as Joe stands behind him! Joe starts to fall to the mat in pain, but RRP keeps him up, and Russian legsweeps him! As Joe gets up, RRP meets him with a dropkick to put him right back down! Joe scrambles up again, only to receive a Piper-esque running knee! RRP then whips Joe off the ropes, but Joe comes off with a clothesline, RRP ducks it, runs off the other side, and DRILLS him with the spear! Joe is down for sure now! RRP gets up, then lifts the back of his kilt as a taunt to BDM/Jaffe! The fans pop big for that, having a good time with this. RRP picks Joe up, whips him in the corner, and delivers the corner splash! The fans know it's only the beginning of the "around the world" splashes, and pop big for the trademark Extreme move. RRP completes the series, and Joe staggers out of the last corner, then gets a hard Manhattan drop! Joe bounces around in a circle while RRP rears back his right hand, measures it up, lifts the leg like a baseball pitcher, then HAMMERS Joe with the big punch, one Roddy Piper used to use back in the day, even acts as one of his finishers in PS2's Smackdown HCTP! Joe does a big leap in the air on impact, falls to the mat, and RRP pins him, 1-2-3! He beat him with the Piper Punch! The fans pop huge, as Jaffe is sent in to attack RRP from behind! Jaffe viciously pounds RRP, using his blind sided attack to finally turn the tide in this match. Jaffe keeps the ball in his court, using his mat skills to wear down RRP to the point that he looks close to defeat. Jaffe sets up for the Arabian Goodnight, but RRP backdrops out of it! The tired RRP starts to get fired up, meeting Jaffe with some hard right hands as he gets up. RRP then whips Jaffe off the ropes, meeting him in the center of the ring with a jumping DDT! The crowd gets behind him, as RRP feeds off their energy for his second wind. He waits for Jaffe to get up, then blasts him with the Light's Out! Jaffe is out of it! RRP shakes his head to say he's not done, then climbs the ropes, calling out "AIR SCOTLAND!" , before coming off the top rope onto Jaffe with the flying headbutt! The fans are really into it now, but RRP is still not satisfied. He picks up Jaffe, then gets him in position for one of Piper's old faithful finishers, the PILEDRIVER! RRP brings Jaffe down hard with the `driver, and covers him, 1-2-3! With the fans popping huge, the riled RRP turns to BDM, pointing at him, telling him to step on in! BDM reluctantly enters, before suddenly rushing RRP! Luckily, RRP is too fired up, blocking his offense with punches of his own! RRP finishes off a punch combo with the Piper eye poke, then stomps on his foot, rakes him in the eyes, and sends him to the mat with a walloping punch! The fans are going wild, as RRP plays up to them. RRP turns back to see BDM getting up, ducks a clothesline attempt, and hits a neckbreaker! RRP picks BDM right back up, then nails a big time suplex! As BDM gets up again, RRP runs up with a face plant maneuver that looks like a bulldog, a Piper standard! RRP picks BDM up again, only for BDM to fight back, then whip him off the ropes! RRP comes off, then slips around the back of BDM for the mother of all Roddy Piper moves, his crown jewel finisher, that immortal 80's standard, the.......SLEEPER HOLD! The fans actually pop mega for the sleeper, and RRP has got it locked on good, thrashing BDM around a bit as he crumples to the canvas! Before you know it, RRP has BDM out cold on his ass in the center of the ring! The ref closes in to lift the hand the required three times, and does it once, it falls! He does it the second time, it falls to a big pop! He does it the last time........it falls! The fans explode! RRP wins with the sleeper! RRP lives!
*Winner* "Rowdy" Robert Piper

Post Match: RRP wildly celebrates the win as the bagpipes play, and the fans pop like mad. He is doing a dead on Roddy with this thing, and the people love it. Vance & Dean talk up the fact that Extreme is still in charge of the SWF booking, under the guise of RRP since he won, and how much the fans enjoy it. RRP keeps celebrating as the woozy BDM is helped to the back by the ref, looking like he wants to cry in humiliation. Foiled again BDM, foiled again. The show fades out as Vance & Dean pimp War Games, and RRP jumps out of the ring, taking his celebration into the crowd! The fans all swarm him, they love RRP!

END OF SHOW

Random Stuff!
Yes, I'm bored, so Random Stuff is back. Now, it will be in a more palatable form, broken up into 4 categories, Wrestling, Movies, Television, and Music. Now, onto to my random musings:

Wrestling

Not much to say other than WWE sucks right now, and it's really taking it's toll on me, a person who has literally never known life NOT watching wrestling, so I'm loyal to the core, and continue tuning in, as if it were some masochistic ritual. But, hopefully, by Wrestlemania 21, Bret Hart or Hulk Hogan will have shown up, if only for their swan song, giving me something to look forward to.

The new character of Simon Dean, whose promos started Monday night has me interested. Dean is like a wrestling fitness guru in the fashion of infomercial king Tony Little. I like these kinds of fun gimmicks, and I believe they can add a lot of entertainment to shows, unlike bland, or mind-numbingly stupid typical WWE crap. Wrestling was fun in the 80's because they had fun characters, who weren't so wacky that they were stupid, but zany enough to entertain. WWE should hire writers who understand the difference between fun and entertaining characters, like Hurricane or Simon Dean, and intelligence insulting ones like Eugene.

Rumor has it, NWA-TNA is looking to sign Scott Hall & Kevin Nash, and I for one would love it. While Nash, as much as I enjoy him, proved in his latest WWE run last year that he is pretty much done as a wrestler, Scott still has some gas in the tank. If Scott goes to TNA, and shows that to WWE management, he might just get an invite back. If that happened, and Razor Ramon was reborn, I'd wet myself, and practically forgive WWE for all their wrongdoings since it's downward spiral began in the tail end of 2001.

Lastly, I just got the news today that one of my favorite underrated WWE talents, Jamie Noble got his release from the company. Jamie is one hell of a worker, so I sure hope he bounces back, and has good luck with whatever he decides to do next.

Movies

Having FINALLY got Dish (DVR no less!) hooked up in my room, I can safely say my insomnia isn't as big a problem as before, since I have access to all the movie channels. I have been recording and watching practically everything that tickles my fancy even slightly. Recordable devices such as Tivo and Dish's DVR might just be one of the greatest inventions of the past few years, right behind the surge of p2p clients and torrent servers that let me scream in delight like a little girl because I can download Royal Rumble 1991.

Speaking of my Dish movie watching experience, nothing beats those cheap ass b-flicks starring former 80's standouts. Some prove to be good, like Night of the Running Man, starring the beyond awesome Andrew McCarthy (BRAT PACK BABY!), and some are intriguing solely based on who's in them, like the one I watched last night, Write to Kill. Write to Kill starred Scott Valentine, who is best known as Nick from the epic, epic, EPIC 80's family sitcom, Family Ties. On Family Ties, Nick was the boneheaded boyfriend of Keaton sibling Mallory, who also happened to rank low on the IQ charts. But, if seeing Nick (sans his KILLER mullet) star as a struggling mystery writer out for the revenge of his dead brother WASN'T odd enough, his leading lady made it even more surreal. Playing his love interest, and professional con-woman, was Joan Severance, who is practically a queen of B-movies (mainly erotic thrillers), who played the love interest of my hero Hulk F'N Hogan in one of my bestest, most favoritest movies ever, No Holds Barred! So here I was, watching NICK & Hulk's former movie flame teaming up to catch bad guys, when things got EVEN MORE screwed up. The duo engaged in a SEX SCENE!!!!!!! Dear lord, how do movies that feature Scott Valentine & Joan Severance doing the dastardly deed ever get made, and how do I sign on to write them? It's movies like these that make staying up at 3am totally worth it. You people can have your 8 hours of sleep, as long as movies like this are on, things aren't so bad for us night owls.

Onto current films. Nothing on the horizon is piquing my interests, so I'll have to wait until Batman comes out next year for anything worth spending money to see. Batman will surely suck, something that hit me when I saw that the Bat-mobile is nothing more than a concept car, and in no way resembling the cool Bat-mobile of movie's past. I heard Kevin Smith is doing a sequel to a fav film of mine, Clerks, so that should be cool when it comes out. As for the endless saga of the Superman movie, it still seems like if it ever does get made, it's bound to fail, but I'm still curious about it, since while I sparingly liked comics, Batty and Supes have always been golden in my book. Freddy vs Jason 2 is looking to be made, but they might ruin it by adding Ash from Evil Dead. I've seen the trilogy of Ash movies, being Evil Dead parts 1 & 2, and Army of Darkness, and sorry people, I just don't see what's so damned special about them. I must admit, I did like Army of Darkness, but seeing Ash mess up Freddy vs Jason round 2 will piss a lot of people off like me, who could give a crap about Evil Dead characters. If it was Michael Myers or Pinhead, I'd say give it a go, but not someone who is only there to appease fringe-horror Evil Dead fanboys. Finally, there is one prospective movie that has been rumored for years I hope we will someday see, Rocky 6. To me, seeing Rocky grace the screen for one last outing would be one of the most anticipated theatrical releases of my life, right along side my crazed anticipation awaiting Hulk Hogan's first starring role in No Holds Barred, and Freddy vs Jason, with the Kill Bill films rounding out the list. Just to be in a theater, and out of nowhere, hearing that famous music blast through the place, with a simple "It's Coming" graphic for the teaser would have me standing on my chair, screaming about Rocky's triumphant return. If this movie does come to fruition, it NEEDS Hulk back as Thunderlips, and damn, if Hulk is in it, I might need some nitro pills to get through the thing without my heart exploding, I will simply go BONKERS. I apologize in advance to any future film goers who might be in the same theater as me should this event occur, but please understand, there is only so much awesome one man can take, and Hulk in Rocky 6 is just too damn much.

Television

Besides the criminally short Ali G Show 2nd season (6 episodes?!), the soon ending Reno 911! 2nd season, and the Dead Like Me 2nd season, that still proves the show kicks ass, no current show has been deemed worth while by me. South Park returns thankfully in October, and the shows I just mentioned are either wrapping up, or done for the season, so I'll have to wait until next year for more. By then, Sopranos will finally show up for it's final 10 episodes, ending another fav show of mine, but Family Guy, and Quantum F'N Leap will be brought back! I guess it balances things out that Family Guy returns, and Quantum is getting the chance via TV movie (and possible revival series) to fix the finale's error, but there was a time almost every night had good stuff on. I used to love ABC in the late 90's, with Drew Carey before it started sucking, Two Guys, a Girl, AND A PIZZA PLACE (Don't try to change the title people!), and Spin F'N City (see how I use that to accentuate the coolness of things?) among others, plus my beloved wrestling when there were 3 promotions out there, all at peak eras. TV needs to boot reality TV, and since Frasier & Friends have AT LONG LAST been taken from the airwaves, start a new era, a Renaissance for quality programs. Bring back zany sitcoms, loaded with slapstick humor. Do big time blow 'em up action shows, loaded with violence. Entertain me again, you magical box! They are on the right track, Family Guy & Quantum are on the way, now, get Michael J. Fox his own show again, bring back Oz & Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place, then cast Bronson Pinchot & Thomas Hayden Church in something so that at least *I* can love television again.

Music

Music is another thing I am not pleased with, which has been well documented, so, I look to the past. This brings about a confession: I LOVE 80's music. I've known it all along, but now, since I have been on a non-stop 80's music kick lately, I've decided to come clean. Oh, I've told people I love 80's metal and stuff, but not my secret longings of pop tunes and some of the softer stuff. I think I've even found a new top favorite band, one I've admired from a far, but until now haven't embraced it, The Bangles. Laugh if you will, but I'm sure YOU, yes, YOU have some skeletons in your musical closet. But I REFUSE to hide it any longer, I'll say it loud, I'll say it proud, I LOVE THE BANGLES! THEY ROCK!!!! And yes, I'm listening to them right now as I type this.

In the last bit of my musings that have stretched on to an alarming length, I want to expound on that last paragraph, I want to talk about guilty musical pleasures. It's kind of sad really to have them, in the sense that you conceal them out of the fear of being mocked, or that as much as you like it, it's hard to actually go out and purchase it if it's particularly embarrassing or against type. Me for example, I said I loved The Bangles, an 80's "chick band", and another shocker I will now confess to, I also like some Sarah McLachlan music too. But as much as I REALLY like their music, do you know how insanely awkward it would be for me to walk up to the the counter at a music shop with it? You have to understand, I have enough social insecurities already, and I'd prefer not to go out and actively add to them by purchasing this kind of music. I'm not a tall guy, I stand about 5'8 with boots on, but am a broad shouldered, stocky guy, with a bit of a hip look (if you ask me) of a backwards white fitted hat, usually a colorful button down shirt, stylish Nike sneakers, and long jean shorts, with a cool, but not cocky swagger all my own. Now, imagine a dude like me strolling up to the counter with a Best of The Bangles or Sarah McLachlan CD. Sure, you could try to play it off like it's not for you, but I've told you, I'm not good in social situations, it's hard enough to just exchange in small talk with strangers like that. I'm pretty sure that's why bootleg music is so popular, so goth kids, skaters, lone wolf outsiders like myself, etc can pirate us up the music we love, but don't feel like being hassled over. Because heaven help him if a metal head digs Barry Manilow or something. You know what, screw the people that disagree with you tastes in music, TV, movies, whatever. We shouldn't feel so bad about it I guess, after all, it's kind of special, like something we are tuned into that most others are missing out on. Hey, next time your looking to pick up a CD, or even a DVD, go on and pick up that one you know you'll get picked on for, but really like. A minute or uncomfortableness, or the occasional jokes by people you know is a small price to pay for a lifetime of enjoyment if it means that much to you. I'll even try it myself the next time I can.


Well, that's all, sorry for the extremely long article, but I feel better now I got it all out. I leave you now with a random quote:


"So.....Who are you going to Amy Grant with?"- Reno 911's Lt. Jim Dangle, propositioning a male hotel clerk to join him in seeing a concert

SWF Promo Posters!
Check out these cool PPV promos for the upcoming SWF PPVs, Halloween Hell & Soul Survivor!

SWF Main Event 9/11/04

Before the opening video, we see a short video of a waving American flag, and a graphic that says "The SWF Salutes America" and hear the massive "USA" chants from the live crowd. Then, we slowly fade out, and after a few seconds, see the traditional opening, before going live (and see the ring has red white and blue ropes, and American flag ring aprons/banners), where Vance is on his way to the ring, holding a mic. When he gets in the ring, he address the fans:

Vance: Right off the bat folks, we will find out who you, the fans have voted on to be in the War Games main event match at the War Games PPV! (huge pop) We asked you to give us your choices for the 5 favorite, and 5 most hated SWF talents, the top vote getters set to be on opposing sides in the highly anticipated match. The top vote getters from each side will be named the "General" for their respective teams. First, the five men YOU have chosen for the the "most hated" side! We will name the participants in order of your votes, from 5th, to the number one man, who will be named the team general. Without further ado......

The big screen has "War Games Participants" displayed on it, then, as the number they are is announced by Vance, the screen displays the name of who was chosen as that number. Vance intros # 5 for the most hated side, the screen reveals it to be JuJu! # 4 is Petey Pizzazz! #'s 3 & 2 are the team of Joe Money & Jahalaman Jaffe (the SWF Tag champs)! The fans boo each choice heartily, to express that they voted them as most hated. The screen then says "Team General", as Vance says the man was the voted "The most hated man in the SWF", The Billion Dollar Man! That was an obvious choice, but a good one. Now, Vance tells us we will see who the fan favorite team is. He intros # 5, the screen reveals it is The Janitor! #'s 4 & 3 are a team, The Black Dragons. Vance intros # 2, and we find out that it is SWF champion, Octane! That is kind of shocking, and a lot of people seem shocked he isn't the general. Vance says that the fans had an "open ballot", so # 1 could be ANYONE. Vance hypes us up to find out the most popular man, who will be team general. A hush falls over the crowd, as everyone sits in anticipation, as no name is being displayed for dramatic effect. Fans start to chant for Extreme Superstar, then, finally, the screen changes, to where a large "# 1" is displayed, followed by the Extreme Superstar logo! The fans go APESHIT, and Extreme's music hits! Extreme has been chosen as the general for his team at War Games! As his music plays, Extreme comes walking to the ring! The fans continue their loud support of him, as he enters the ring, and he asks Vance for his mic, which he gladly gives him. Extreme looks happy, but then turns serious as he begins to speak:

Extreme(seriously): Well, I am honored to be chosen by you, the fans as the team general, but this is bringing about something I guess I can't avoid any longer. Since day one, I have only stepped into the ring to settle an issue I had with someone, and have been met with a favorable response every time out. (big pop) I have always wanted to be a steady wrestler, but as the owner of the SWF, I just felt it was a conflict of interest (big boos), however, nowadays, it seems like you WANT me to wrestle full-time (HUGE, MASSIVE pop). Since that is what you want, from this day forward, Extreme Superstar is now a full-time member of the SWF roster! (UNREAL pop) Now before anyone in the back cries fowl, I will be turning over booking control (HUGE boos) to a man I have scoured the globe to find, to be named the SWF "Commissioner" next week. After tonight, Extreme Superstar is no longer the man behind the SWF booking (more GIANT boos). But hey, tonight is gonna be great, we are celebrating America! (HUGE pop) I am so proud to present this tribute broadcast........


He is cut off by the sound of Ayatollah Sheik's music! Extreme & Vance, who remain in the ring are angered by the interruption. Sheik has a mic, and in the aisle, begins a tirade:

Sheik(angry): I don't want to hear this Americana, rah-rah stuff! (HUGE boos) This country is a disease! You should be ashamed to......

A furious Extreme cuts him off to respond:

Extreme(pissed): Now you listen here pal! (MEGA pop) This is MY country, and I for one, and DAMN proud to be living in it! (another massive pop) I know that everyone in this building right now can agree, it doesn't matter if you were born here, or not, America has been a welcome home to us all! (another big time pop) That is what makes this country so great, we are made up of all different types of people, some here by birth, others by emigration, but the USA embraces us all, making every last one of us Americans! (MEGA pop, followed by a "USA" chant) I have had it with all the anti-American rhetoric you've been spouting off since you came to the SWF, and now that I am an full-time active wrestler, I want YOU, in a match, TONIGHT! (HUUUUGE pop) In my final act of booking power, I am DEMANDING an anything goes, "Love it or leave it" match, if you lose, you leave the SWF, and the country! (enormous pop)


Sheik(angry): FINE! I would be delighted to embarrass you right here in the country you love so much, in your native Florida no less!


Extreme: Great, then it's ON! (another HUGE pop) Now, Vance, would you do the honors of starting the show?


Vance: Let's KICK IT OFF!


Everyone leaves the ringside area, Vance going back up to the announce booth for the opening match.


Allies Match: Captain Fantastic & The Black Dragons vs Cash Inc
This match has been set to show the unity between United States, and international SWF wrestlers. Fantastic starts with BDM, and comes on strong, but soon, BDM uses his technical prowess to overtake him. Fantastic takes quite a bit of punishment, then makes the desperation tag to Shadow. BDM uses this as the opportunity to tag in the fresh Jahalaman Jaffe. Jaffe is met with deadly quick martial arts from Shadow, and is sent scurrying back to tag in Joe Money. Joe takes some beating, but soon uses power to put things back in his team's favor. Joe hits a big time spinebuster, but it isn't enough to finish Shadow, and Shadow mounts a comeback. Being smart about it, Shadow only does enough to escape Joe, not trying to be a hero, and tags in Quow Ling soon after. Quow is a house of fire, like Marty Jannetty, but when a kick is blocked, Joe sweeps his leg, then drops to sling shot him across the ring! Quow is now in the enemy corner, where BDM & Jaffe have no qualms about beating on him. Seeing this, Fantastic & Quow rush in to break things up, and a pier 6 brawl erupts! The ref tries to spilt it up, as the legal man Joe drags the also legal Quow away from the fight, and nails his Payoff finisher on him! the other four men are too busy fighting, and when Joe calls the ref away to count the pin, nobody is there to break it up! 1-2-3, Cash Inc win!
*Winners* Cash Inc


After the match, we head back up to Vance & Dean, who address the fans. They say that last week, they were doing a promotional tour of Asia, explaining why there was no SWF Main Event. They show clips of the SWF wrestlers hanging out with frenzied Japanese fans, who MOB them as they do their appearances. Vance says that the SWF has gained MAJOR status in Japan, their merchandise flies off the shelves, the SWF is in all the magazines and newspapers, not to mention, SWF Main Event is the # 1 show on television there. Dean says the tour was very productive, as SWF owner Extreme Superstar conducted some important business in Japan. And, he is going to tell us more! We soon hear Extreme's theme, and he walks down to the ring, to a massive pop. He has a mic, enters the ring, and addresses the crowd:

Extreme: Hey, I'm sorry I didn't get to it earlier, but you know, Ayatollah Sheik had to interrupt (HUGE boos), and I never got around to announcing the locations of the next 2 PPVs. Now, I hope you can understand this fans, but due to the success of the SWF, that people such as all of you have made possible (HUGE pop), places all over the world have been begging us to hold shows there. And, we here at the SWF feel it's only right to spread the wealth, and give more people the chance to experience the SWF live. That is why, the next 2 PPVs won't be emanating from Miami (disappointed boos). (shrugs) I'm sorry guys, but trust me, while these shows won't be here, they are still going to be fantastic to watch on PPV. The next time the SWF will be on PPV is for the second annual Halloween Hell event, the first ever SWF PPV. It will happen on Halloween Night, which, unlike normal SWF PPVs, is on a Sunday, so that means no SWF Main Event on the 30th. Here's the cool part though. The event will be taking place right outside in the middle of Fantasy Fest, the annual festival held in MY birthplace, KEY WEST FLORIDA! (big pop) I am so proud to be able to bring the success of the SWF back to where it all literally began for me. As some of you may have heard, I am going to be filming away filming a movie for most of October (HUGE boos), but I wouldn't miss an SWF PPV for anything, let alone one in my hometown, so I WILL be there! (big pop) The second PPV I am going to announce is another first for the SWF. Halloween Hell 2004 will mark the first SWF event not held in Miami, but Soul Survivor will be the first SWF event out of the country! It won't even be in North America! On this special salute to America night, I am proud to announce that in a showing of diplomacy that would make our forefathers proud, the SWF is set to go international! (big pop) As Vance said, in Japan, I conducted some important business. The SWF is HUGE over there, which is why on November 26th, in Tokyo Japan, from the world famous Tokyo Dome, SWF Soul Survivor 2004 will be held! (big pop)

After the announcement, Extreme walks off to a big pop, and his music. We then cut to promos for the just announced PPVs. The one for Halloween Hell has footage of the beautiful Key West landscape at night, with howling winds rustling the palm trees. Then, we see a dark figure, in a trenchcoat walking with a purpose, it's Extreme Superstar! The camera pulls back, to see the "Welcome to Key West" sign, as Extreme stops, and surveys the land. A deep man's voice then booms saying "On Halloween night, Key West is going to get Extreme.......AGAIN!". Right after that, we hear a woman's blood curdling scream, followed by her screaming "OH MY GOD! HE'S HERE! HE HAS RETURNED!". The screen fades as Extreme continues his walk into town, and a blood red graphic pops up on a black screen, saying, "Prepare for the Extreme Homecoming. Key West will never be the same again. Halloween Hell, 10/31/04". The next ad is for the Soul Survivor show to be held in Tokyo. We open with a police helicopter flying over the jammed packed streets of Tokyo, apparently in the midst of a riot. We close in to see riot police on the streets desperately trying to keep the frenzied people held back, as the pilot of the copter is heard reporting the events going on. First he says it in Japanese, then English, stating that "These people have gone crazy! Nothing can contain them! We have lost all control! Pull back all forces, and evacuate immediately!", then, all the sudden, we hear the sound of Extreme Superstar's music blasting! The mass of people go NUTS, and all start rushing down the street! The copter patrol guy then says, "It's too late! They have taken over the city!". We return our view from the helicopter, and follow the mob of people down the street, where we see the massive Tokyo Dome, and the gathered masses, all jumping for joy, as the camera swoops down to see the entire SWF crew come onto the scene! Extreme & Octane lead the pack, as the music cuts off, we close in on the SWF crew, and Extreme speaks up, looking impressed by their welcome. "If they think this is something, wait until we get inside!" he says, causing the group to nod and smile in agreement, as they walk through the crowd, and enter the venue. The camera fades to a back screen, as the narrator says "Come November 26th, Tokyo will EXPLODE!". Pretty nifty stuff. After the promos, we return live to the arena, and are ready for the next match.


SWF United States title match: The Freedom Fighter vs The Mercenary
Freedom is greeted with a massive pop, as he is representing the USA on this patriotic night. Merc gets major heel heat, maybe because he isn't American, or just because he's facing Freedom. Once the bell rings, Merc viciously tears into Freedom, looking primed to win the gold tonight, and as Vance says, rebound from his Television title loss at Heatwave. Freedom fights back after getting trounced, but Merc is not giving in either, providing a hard hitting evenly matched affair. Then, Merc cleans Freedom's clock with a HARD lariat, before setting him up for his Mercy Kill finisher! Merc gets him up, but Freedom drops behind, then gets Merc up for a big Star Spangled Slam! Freedom goes for the pin, 1..........2...........3! He got him! Merc did look impressive though.
*Winner, and STILL SWF United States Champion* The Freedom Fighter


SWF World title match: Octane vs JuJu
JuJu enters first, to big boos, then, we hear the sound of a loud truck being revved up! We soon see Octane drive a semi truck into the arena, with his theme blasting from the truck's sound system! In honor of the occasion, the truck has American flags strapped to the front like a presidential motorcade, and the truck bears a huge American flag design, with an eagle on it, and says "Proud to be American"! The fans pop MEGA, as Octane sounds the horn, then turns off the truck, and steps out, ready to fight, with the SWF title around his waist. Octane storms the ring, surrenders the belt, and it's on! JuJu wastes no time jumping Octane, knowing what's at stake here. Octane is quick to retaliate, and dish out punishment of his own. Pretty soon after that, Octane takes JuJu down with a running big boot, then catches him for a chokeslam as he gets up! Octane gets the big man up for the chokeslam, and drops him down with ONE HAND! That should be all, but Octane signals for the Empty Tank! Octane lifts JuJu, and in an awesome display of power, gets JuJu all the way up in the air for the move! Octane brings JuJu down fiercely, covers him, and 1-2-3, it's over! Octane truly came off like the champ, and fans loved his dominance.
*Winner, and STILL SWF World Champion* Octane

Post match: Octane is handed his belt, which he raises to the fans before going back to his truck, and driving out of the arena, sounding the horn as his way of playing to the fans.


After the match, we head back to Vance & Dean, who talk up the main event, and ponder if this could be Ayatollah Sheik's last match. They also discuss next week's show, which will have the full, fan-voted SWF War Games lineup announced, and the naming of the new booker, the SWF commissioner. They say while they wish Extreme would keep booking (and the fans pop for that statement), they're sure whoever he picked as his replacement will be a suitable one. Now, we go back to the ring, where the main event is about to start.


Main Event: Love it or Leave it match: Extreme Superstar vs Ayatollah Sheik
Sheik comes out first, to massive boos, and the crowd goes silent when his music cuts off, preparing for Extreme's arrival. After a few seconds, instead of Extreme's normal theme, REAL AMERICAN blasts through the arena! The fans EXPLODE, as Extreme comes out, sporting a white "American Made" shirt like Hulk Hogan used to wear WAAAY back when, and it's cut up like Hulk's famous shirts too! He comes down the aisle, ready to fight, and slides in the ring under the ropes to just TEAR SHEIK APART! Extreme pounds the crap out of him, and whips him off the ropes for the AXXXXXEEEEE BOMMMMMMBBBBEEEERRRRR!!!!!!! The fans are going mental, and then start a major "USA" chant. Extreme lifts Sheik up, and whips him into the corner, to start off his around the world corner splashes! Extreme hits them all, Sheik drops, and Extreme mounts the top rope! He comes off the far side with a BIG TIME flying headbutt! Extreme is too riled to end it there though, and goes back up top for a major flying elbow! He isn't done yet, he feeds off the crowd's amazing energy, then gets Sheik up for the Thunder in Paradise! Sheik hits the mat hard, bouncing up upon impact, and Extreme picks him up for a second one! Dear lord, Sheik is DEAD. FINALLY, Extreme cups the hand to his ear, calling for the legdrop! He comes off, and BLASTS it, but doesn't go for the pin! He signals he is going to do it again! BOOM! The fans are totally into this, and Extreme looks out to them, asking if he should do one more legdrop! They scream "YES!", so he measures, up, and comes FLYING off with a MONDO legdrop! Sheik was done after the first MINUTE, I'd bet the farm he won't be getting up now. Extreme covers him, as the crowd loudly counts the incredibly obvious pin, 1-2-3! The Sheik has just lost his job! Real American strikes up again as Extreme tosses Sheik out over the top rope to the cheers of the fans, who are unbelievably loud.
*Winner* Extreme Superstar

Post Match: The fans continue their cheers, as Extreme is handed an American flag by a crew member, waving it for all to see. Then, Vance, Dean, Angelica, and the ENTIRE SWF locker room come down to the ring, some carrying mini American flags, to celebrate the victory. The music continues, as red, white, and blue pyro goes off, followed by red, white, and blue confetti raining down from the ceiling. All the SWF talents have put their differences aside to honor something more important than their feuding, America.

END OF SHOW

My 50 Favorite Wrestler Tributes: Profile 2, Rick Martel!
Today's tribute is for one hell of a singles, AND tag team competitor, Rick Martel, also known as Rick "The Model" Martel.

Name: Rick Martel aka Rick "The Model" Martel
Height: 6'0
Weight: 226lbs
From: Quebec City, Quebec Canada
Finishing Move: The Boston/Quebec Crab

Career Highlights: 3 time WWF Tag Team champion (2 w/ Tony Garea, 1 with Tito Santana), 1 time AWA World champion, 1 time WCW Television champion, member of the AWESOME Strike Force tag team w/ Tito Santana.

Martel Moments

Strike Force!
Strike Force is one of my all-time favorite tag teams, and was when I first got to see Martel's career as it was going on, being young at the time. They used a somewhat high flying, and lightning quick style that made for exciting matches, and got them over with fans in short order. In November of 1987, the duo got their chance to face another favorite team of mine, the then WWF Tag champs, and top heel team, the Hart Foundation in a title match. Fans had been clamoring for the Foundation to lose the gold since they won it early in the year, and on this night, they got their wish. Rick Martel had the Boston Crab locked on Jim Niedhart I believe, as Tito held off the Hitman, with fans going NUTS, as the Anvil submit! The fans went even more wild, as new champs were crowned. Strike Force would hold the titles until Wrestlemania of the next year, dropping the belt to my # 1 favorite team, Demolition.

The End of Strike Force
After losing the tag gold, an injury put Martel on the shelf, and out of action for many months. When he came back, he wanted nothing more than to reform Strike Force, and the reunited team would face off with The Brainbusters at Wrestlemania 5. During the match, Martel, not happy with how things were going, decided to just take off, leaving Tito to be beaten by their opponents! After the match, Mean Gene tried to find out Rick's motives, and he declared that he was tired of carrying the team, and was done with Strike Force! This not only turned Rick heel, but kicked off the next phase of his career.

Enter the Model
Now on his own, Rick took on an arrogant persona, then started claiming he was a glamorous model! Rick "The Model" was born, and is one of my favorite heel gimmicks ever. Rick would go on to have a seemingly ENDLESS (not that I'm complaining) series of matches with former partner Tito Santana, that saw poor Tito lose every damn time. Then, to further play up his model-ness, Rick unveiled to the world, his own cologne!

Arrogance
Rick's new cologne was known as "Arrogance", which he carried in a big blue atomiser, and spritzed freely on people, especially using the canister, and spray to win matches. Rick even ran tv spots for Arrogance, parodying fragrence commercials. It was Rick's nefarious usings of Arrogance that led to his awesome feud with Jake "The Snake" Roberts.

Martel vs Jake
This feud started in mid 1990 when Rick sprayed Arrogance in Jake's eyes during a heated run-in on the Brother Love show. Jake was, and still is, one of my top faves, so I was easily into the feud. Jake showed up soon after, with his eyes all white, having been blinded by the lethal fragrance. Rick, being the ultra jerk he was, showed up to help Brother Love taunt the blind Jake on Love's show. Jake tried to fight, but since he couldn't see, he got the worst of a Martel beating. As he recovered, he reached up, and made a grab, to try and grab Rick, getting Brother Love instead, then PLANTING him with his much beloved DDT finisher! The fans, and I at home went wild over this, since Brother Love was as hated as anyone, so while Martel didn't get his, at least Brother Love did. To further rub in the fact he blinded Jake, Rick named his Survivor Series 1990 team "The Visionaires", not only to say they were so great, but meant as a funny, but totally dickish hidden insult, since they could see, while Jake was still feeling the effects of the blinding. Jake still had all white eyes, and only partial vision, as he was on the opposing Survivor Series team against the Visionaires. Nothing got settled however, as Jake & Martel ran off after each other during the contest. The Feud would have to be resolved at Wrestlemania 7 the next year, in an interesting match, the blindfold match! This was at Jake's request, so Martel could experiance what it was like for Jake when he was blind. Jake, having been through blindness before, was a natural, and used that to his advantage, winning the match, serving as the blowoff for the rivalry.

The WCW Comeback
Rick stuck around the WWF through the mid 90's, leaving in 1994, seemingly retiring. But, in 1998, Rick laced up the boots again, and returned in WCW for a short run, where he not only looked fantastic, but wrestled as good as ever. Being such a fan as I was of him, watching him win the WCW Television title was an amazing moment for me. This would be the capper of an excellent career, and one of wrestling's greatest comebacks.

My 50 Favorite Wrestler Tributes: Profile 1, Ahmed Johnson!
This series of articles was inspired by the listing of my 50 favorite wrestlers on my main website. I decided to give each wrestler their own article, highlighting their achievements, and the moments that show why I like them so much. I should note that these profiles are in random order, and my all-time favorite wrestler, Hulk Hogan, will be getting one giant, MEGA tribute article, to be published on the main site, the one I have been working on for some time. I decided to kick things off with the badass from Pearl River Mississippi himself, AHMED JOHNSON!!!!!

Name: Ahmed Johnson
Height: 6'2
Weight: 305lbs
From: Pearl River Mississippi
Finishing Move: The Pearl River Plunge(Tiger Bomb)

Career Highlights:
1 time WWF Intercontinental champion, member of the infamous Nation of Domination stable, PWI's 1996 Most Improved Wrestler, winner of the WWF Kuwaiti Cup.

Ahmed Moments

The Debut Promos
Ahmed had some interesting hype videos before his WWF debut in 1995. He was like alone in some room, SCREAMING about "Competition!", with his booming voice, and bloodshot eyes. I honestly had no idea what this dude's deal was at the time, but damn, when he DID finally show up, he kicked ass.

Ahmed Arrives
When Ahmed hit the scene, he had badass music (which you can find on the WWF: The Music Volume 2 CD), he looked badass, and totally destroyed everyone in his path. People have said Ahmed was the true precursor to Goldberg, and I'd have to agree, but might say Ahmed was actually cool, and had more talent. Ahmed also had the sweet as hell Pearl River Plunge finisher, which he used to decimate wrestler after wrestler, getting him over big time with fans in short order. As soon as he had debuted, Ahmed won me over with his no-nonsense, monster persona.

Goldust Loves Ahmed
In 1996, Goldust (aka "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes) was making waves with the controversial, homo erotic gimmick he was portraying. Goldust would allude to liking other wrestlers, in a more than platonic way, feel them up during matches, and all sorts of apparent, offensive, stereotyped, homosexual things of that nature. As a pre-teen during those days, I wasn't that big a fan of what Goldust was doing, seeing it simply as erratic, bizarre behavior, and Goldust was one of my least favorites on the WWF roster, but maybe that was because he beat my main man Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental title at the '96 Royal Rumble, since I like him immensely today (he made my top 50). Back on topic, Goldust was the IC champ through the summer, when he targeted Ahmed Johnson as the next object of his affection. Being the manly, somewhat unstable badass he was, Ahmed was none too pleased with Goldy's infatuation, and it all culminated with one of the funniest, most memorable moments in Raw history for me. On an episode of Monday Night Raw, shortly before the June King of the Ring PPV, Ahmed was laid out by an attack, and carried off on a stretcher, through the backstage area. As it passed to load an unconscious Ahmed in the waiting ambulance, Goldust approached. And, Goldust decided to do something that he would live to regret. Goldust actually gave "mouth to mouth" to the 300lbs wrecking machine who had already been ENRAGED at the suggestion that Goldy had a crush on him! Ahmed was soon awakened, to find out what went down, with his face covered in Goldust's gold makeup. Ahmed FLIPPED THE HELL OUT, jumped up from the stretcher, screaming like some kind of pissed off rhino, and made a beeline straight for Goldust's lockeroom! Ahmed did a kickass butterfly kick, busting in Goldy's dressing room, ready to kick the living crap out of him, but he wasn't there. This set the stage for the now even more psychotic Ahmed to challenge Goldust for the IC belt at the King of the Ring PPV. As for that cool butterfly kick, I must admit, I have been doing it to open/close doors on occasion ever since.

Ahmed: The FIRST People's Champion
In the aforementioned King of the Ring match, I watched live as Ahmed finally unseated Goldust as the IC champ, crushing him dead after Goldy made the fatal mistake of planting another lip lock on him. Ahmed would be the first person to declare himself "The People's Champion", unlike The Rock, who stole that moniker later. Sadly, Ahmed suffered a kidney injury in August, forcing him to be stripped of the title. It was also injuries that plagued his career, and caused his WWF run to be cut short, leaving the company in 1998, after turning heel, and joining former enemy Faarooq in the Nation of Domination. Ahmed would resurface in WCW as Big T in 2000, but it just wasn't the same. While his tenure was short, Ahmed secured himself as a personal favorite of mine. But hey, let's not end the article on a downer, I'll finish it up with Ahmed's last hurrah (according to me), occurring at Wrestlemania 13.

Ahmed & LOD Kick Ass, Chicago Style!
Before Ahmed turned to the dark side by joining his enemies in the Nation of Domination, the two sides had a dandy, rock ass, 6 Man Tornado style "Chicago Street Fight" at Wrestlemania 13 in Chicago, also the hometown of Ahmed's tag partners, one of my favorite teams ever, The Legion of Doom! It was a dream team for me, and they even came out together, with Ahmed sporting the famous LOD spiked shoulder pads! The match was a wild fight, where the metaphorical kitchen sink, actually came into play, and was used to bludgeon the Nation. Ahmed/LOD came out victorious, capping the bout off nicely, and giving me that last fond Ahmed memory.

SWF Main Event 8/28/04

We start with a recap of last night's Heatwave PPV, a night capped off by Octane beating The Billion Dollar Man fair and square for the SWF World title. After the video, we go live to Vance & Dean:


Vance: Welcome to SWF Main Event! We are only one day removed from our Heatwave PPV, which saw FOUR titles change hands! Three of those victories were huge, shocking upsets, with newcomers The Bell Kids winning the SWF 6 Man titles, Walter winning the Hardcore title, and Jules winning the SWF Television title. The fourth title change was the big one, OCTANE cleanly defeated The Billion Dollar Man for the SWF title! (HUGE pop)

Dean: Also, the show saw the emergence of an Extreme Superstar (HUGE pop at the mention of his name) we haven't seen before, as he totally destroyed Faith & Devotion, as well as the monster Daimon in his hardcore gauntlet match! (another mega pop) But don't worry fans, tonight is shaping up to be a fantastic show as well, with several big matches lined up, just listen:

Fresh off his Heatwave victory over old tag partner, The Don, Tony Ramon is set to do battle with Silkky Smooth! (big pop)

Fuming over their less than fair loss of the 6 Man titles, as a result of their enemy, Principal Vernon's interference, The Breakfast Club is out for revenge tonight, giving us three big matches tonight! In an SWF first, The Breakfast Club's The Freak & The Rich Girl will square off with The Bell Kids' Jessie & Lisa in a women's tag team match! (big pop) The second grudge match will be a battle of the geeks, as Breakfast Club's Nerd faces The Bell Kids' Screech! (big pop) And, in the third grudge match of this feud, The Breakfast Club look to rebel against the system, as The Burnout & The Jock face the allied school administrators Belding & Breakfast Club's nemesis, Principal Vernon! (big pop)

And, you would not believe this HUGE main event just signed. It appears as if Cash Inc's Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money have a rematch clause in their contracts, and after losing the tag belts at Redemption last month, never used their rematch for the tag titles. So, since the title shot is good for a month, and they just made the deadline, they have been granted a tag title match versus The Black Dragons tonight! (mixed cheers/boos, a positive reaction for such a big match, and negative for Cash Inc weaseling another title shot.)

Vance: Without further ado, let's KICK IT OFF!


Silkky Smooth vs Tony Ramon
Silkky starts strong, but soon, Tony turns it around. The two brawl it out rather evenly, then Silkky sends Tony out over the tope rope with a clothesline. Silkky follows him to the floor, and tony is waiting, meeting him with some punches, before whipping him into the steel ring steps! Tony keeps up his attack, as the ref reaches an 8 count. Realizing he could be counted out, Tony goes to reenter the ring, but the downed Silkky snags his foot! Tony tries to kick him off, but it's too late! Both men have been counted out!
*Double Countout*

Post Match: A pissed off Tony Ramon attacks Silkky again, as Silkky fights up, leading to a massive brawl up the aisle! SWF officials swarm to break up the melee. Dean says this incident looks to have planted the seeds of a rivalry.

We head backstage, where Lt. Jim Dingle receives yet another creepy note. This one merely says "It starts 9/18/04". After reading the letter, Dingle discusses it with a crew member nearby:

Dingle: This couldn't possibly be anything but bad. Not too many good things start with cryptic letters from psycho stalkers, outside a late night Cinemax movie, and THOSE things aren't even that good! (the crew member just stares at him) C'mon! The plots are substandard, the acting is rigid, and what about the cinematography?! If you REALLY want high quality stuff, you have to watch Showtime. HBO is okay, don't get me wrong, but Showtime really knows it's late night programming. (crew member just shakes his head in disgust, and walks away) Jeez, I'm SOOOO sorry to have offended you Mr. Spielberg! (walking off, under his breath) I hate film snobs.

After that, we head back to the arena, where Extreme Superstar's music suddenly rips through the arena! The fans go NUTS, as Extreme walks out, carrying some kind of trophy(gold man with his arms raised in victory, on a marble base that looks like a wrestling ring, with a gold plate for the engraved award name), and a mic. Extreme enters the ring, and begins to speak:

Extreme(enjoying the reaction): Is everyone having a good time tonight? (big pop, Extreme smiles) Good. Now, onto the reason I'm here. (holds up the trophy in his hand) These awards, dubbed "Superstar Awards" are what we will be handing out at the SWF Awards special, which, as announced last night, will be airing live on September 29th. It will emanate from a place not too far from here, the Fiesta Palace banquet hall, and while there is limited seating available, we invite the SWF fans to attend! (HUGE pop) After all, it will be your votes that determine the winners of the awards. From now, up until the night before the show, the SWF website has the ballots up, so we encourage fans to vote. While your at the site too, make sure to also vote for who you want to see in the main event War Games match at the PPV of the same name, set for September 24th, coming at you live from the SWF Superdome. Voting for that goes until the September 11th edition of SWF Main Event, where the participants will be named. Speaking of that show, I have some programming notes for you. A reminder to fans, due to a very special goodwill tour of appearances the SWF is doing across Asia, SWF Main Event will not air next week (big boos). I'm sorry folks, but hey, the September 11th show is going to be special. (gets more serious) I hate to mention it, but we all know what that day marks, and instead of dwelling on the sadness of the day, the SWF is going to do something to honor the enduring spirit of America, as that day has taken on a whole new meaning these past three years. I am proud to announce that the September 11th edition of SWF Main Event, will be a salute to America. (BIG pop) On that show, we plan to have a top notch card, as well as the announcement of the chosen War Games main event, and ballot for the fan decided undercard of War Games. I hope you fans join us for that very important broadcast. Well, that about does it, enjoy the rest of the show!

Extreme's music hits, and he leaves the ring to a big pop, while Vance & Dean talk up the "SWF Salutes America" SWF Main Event, War Games, and the SWF Awards ceremony. After that, we get ready for our next match.


The Nerd vs Screech
Nerd is all pissed, with the ENTIRE TBC crew accompanying him to the ring! Screech comes out with all TBK members, starting a massive brawl on the floor (with opposing female/male mini fights), as Nerd & Screech fight in the ring! Nerd soon downs Screech with a reverse DDT, hits the Lionsault, and 1-2-3, it's over!
*Winner* The Nerd

Since they are all at ringside, The Rich Girl & The Freak throw Jessie & Lisa in the ring to start their match!

The Rich Girl & The Freak vs Jessie & Lisa
Rich Girl (RG) & Freak keep up their attack on Jessie/Lisa, with the ref tossing up his hands, deciding to just let it go, as everyone else is still fighting on the floor, as SWF officials swarm in to break it up, unsuccessfully I might add. Finally, RG is legal in the ring with Lisa, and RG is handing her a beating, before tiring to tag Freak in. Freak beats on Lisa awhile, before Lisa makes the desperation tag to Jessie, who enters, cleaning house. Just as she was on the show, this Jessie is tall, so she rules over all the females in this. The brawl on the floor only gets worse as Vernon runs down, followed by Belding, making things worse just as the officials finally got everyone apart. As that brawl starts up again, the only female left on the floor, Kelly, is on the far side of the ring, where the female brawl was, recovering from her injuries. She is clad in her Bayside cheerleader uniform, and carrying pom poms! Kelly starts to do cheers for her partners, much to the male fan's delight. When Freak starts to make a comeback, Kelly takes action, and hands off a pom pom to Lisa on the apron, who hides it behind her back. Kelly goes over the the other corner to distract RG, drawing the ref over, as Lisa jumps in the ring, and blasts Freak in the face with the pom pom! Freak drops like a ton of bricks, that thing must have been loaded! Lisa then exits hastily, as a dazed Jessie covers Freak, and the ref turns back to the match! RG tries to jump in to stop the count, but Kelly pulls her off the apron! 1-2-3, Jessie & Lisa win!
*Winners* Jessie & Lisa

With that match concluded, Jock tossed Vernon in the ring, as Burnout grabs Belding, taking him in the ring as well! The bell rings, and that match has started!

The Burnout & The Jock vs Belding & Principal Vernon
All four brawl it out, as the females scatter from the ring. The ref just shakes his head, not being able to contain any of this. Jock & Burnout whip the crap out of their enemies, and Jock ends up nailing the implant DDT on Vernon, as Burnout hits the DVD on Belding. Both men simultaneously go for the pin, and the ref employs a double count, counting the 1-2-3 with both hands!
*Winners* The Burnout & The Jock

We get a video promoting the SWF Salutes America show. They hype the War Games main event announcement being made, and talk of the matches scheduled. So far, three matches have been announced, an "Allies" match where teams of American & international stars team up, as a testament to the unity of the USA. In that contest, American, Captain Fantastic teams with Japan's Black Dragons versus Americans The Billion Dollar Man & Joe Money, with their Saudi partner, Jahalaman Jaffe, the stable known as Cash Inc. The United States title will also be on the line, as the all-American champion The Freedom Fighter faces South Africa's The Mercenary. And, in his first SWF World title defense, Octane will defend against JuJu! That video leads into another video, saying that the SWF will announce the locations for the next 2 ppvs, Halloween Hell 2004, and Soul Survivor on the SWF Salutes America show. The voice over guy says, "If you thought the SWF was wild in Miami, just wait until you hear where it's going next!". That must mean the SWF is going to hold at least one of the shows outside of Miami for the first time! Where will they go? Wherever it is, I'm sure it must be an inspired choice, or inspired choices.

Main Event: SWF Tag Team title match: The Black Dragons vs Cash Inc
Cash Inc waste no time attacking the Dragons, who fend them off! Quow takes Joe to the floor, as Shadow and Jaffe are declared the legal men in the ring. Shadow dominates for some time, as their respective partners have made it to their corners. Jaffe makes a comeback, deciding to use his momentum to beat on Shadow instead of tag when he had the chance. Luckily for him, that doesn't prove to be a mistake, as Shadow is now worn down, and then Jaffe opts to tag, as Shadow leaps for the desperation tag. Quow comes in, a house of fire, before Joe uses his power to derail a severe onslaught. Quow makes another comeback attempt, and comes flying off the top rope with a body press, but Joe catches him, slides him into position for The Payoff, and hits it! Joe goes for the pin as Jaffe hold off Shadow, and 1-2-3! New champs! Cash Inc have won back the titles!
*Winners, and NEW SWF Tag Team Champions* Cash Inc

Post Match: As the fans boo, the new champs celebrate their win. Dean talks about how after how after their, and BDM's recent failures looked to spell the end of the trio, but here they are tonight, winning back the tag belts. The announcers remind us that the show won't air next week, and that they'll be back for the SWF Salutes America show on the 11th as the show fades out.

END OF SHOW

SWF Heatwave

We open the show with the typical video package, then go live to the amazing set. This is all taking place outside, right on the Miami Beach. They used big grandstands, and floor level chairs to accommodate the crowd, which is a lot, around 8,000 people, who are VERY hyped to be able to see the show, in such an intimate setting. The ring is set up right in the middle of the grandstands, and it's right on the beach, with only a light canopy above, and a large screen hanging down from it, so everyone else can see. The entrance way appears as if they just threw up a back carpet, leading from behind their makeshift backstage to the ring, where a black backing has the event logo on it, and another big screen above the curtain. The whole scene is cool, the aisle is lined with cabana torches, the palm trees are visible in the background, you can really see the ocean, and to top it all off, It's a gorgeous night, the stars are out, the trees, as well as the ocean are heard in the background, it is a really inspired setting. The fans love it too, they seem to be into the fresh air vibe, and are energetic. The announce booth has it's own setup stage on the right side of the aisle, as per usual, and we then go over to them for the real kickoff.

Vance(hyped, dressed in casual khakis, and a tropical shirt): Welcome to SWF Heatwave! (big pop from the pumped up crowd) Tonight promises to be an absolutely off the charts show, isn't that right Dean?

Dean(hyped, also in tropical gear): You bet Vance! The card is STACKED, here's the rundown:

In a grudge match to settle their issues following the breakup of their team, the former Kings of the Street, Tony Ramon & The Don will do battle!

For the SWF 6 Man titles, it's a battle of angst ridden youths vs bubble gum preps, when champs, The Breakfast Club meet The Bell Kids!

In a match for the SWF Hardcore title, Jack Suicide defends against Walter, the exceedingly hostile newcomer!

In a 3 Team Dance for the SWF Tag Team gold, The Black Dragons defend against the challenging teams of Petey Pizzazz & JuJu, as well as Sex Connection's Beef Macho & Randy Mann!

SWF United States champion, The Freedom Fighter will have his hands full in a 4 Way Dance for his title, taking on Silkky Smooth, Ayatollah Sheik, and Jahalaman Jaffe!

The Mercenary will defend his SWF Television championship against a hot newcomer by the name of Jules!

In a Hardcore Gauntlet match, EXTREME SUPERSTAR (drawing a larger than life ovation) will face Faith & Devotion, and Daimon!

And, in the main event, for the SWF World title, The Billion Dollar Man will be pitted against the man many have been clamoring to finally get a fair shot at the gold, OCTANE! (big pop) In this match, any foul play will result in the immediate dismissal of all involved, so we are going to see a clean, one on one dream match, right here LIVE!

Vance(still pumped): I can't wait Dean, let's (fans say it with him) KICK IT OFF!


Tony Ramon vs The Don
Tony gets a big pop, as he is from Miami, which the typical SWF Arena crowd didn't really pick up on, or didn't care about since he was a heel before. This intimately set crowd is very ECWish, they are small, vocal, and get into things easy, already apparent off the bat. Maybe it's the fresh air giving them energy, or just the small nature allows chants, and such to grow quickly. Anyways, Don gets a hearty round of boos, like he was some major heel, so this smaller crowd really worked out. Tony pretty much whips Don's ass, while the fans chant "Hit the Edge!", in reference to his finisher, The Edge. Tony soon obliges to a big pop, and the 1-2-3.
*Winner* Tony Ramon


Hardcore Gauntlet Match: Extreme Superstar vs Faith & Devotion, & Daimon
Extreme's music rips through the air without warning, signaling the start of this match, and it draws the GIGANTOR ovation of the night, for sure. The crowd go BONKERS, as Extreme pops out from behind the curtain (sporting a bandage from the bloodying attack his opponents for tonight inflicted upon him last week on SWF Main Event), all fired up, carrying a trash can of weapons. The fans start a mega chant for him, as he awaits the first of his gauntlet opponents. Xavier Hawthorne's music hits, and he comes out to BIG TIME boos, as he is facing the fans' chosen golden boy.

Hardcore Gauntlet Match 1: Extreme Superstar vs Xavier Hawthorne III
I don't envy Xavier, because Extreme is FIRED up tonight, ready to hand out a receipt for last week's beat down, and the group's prior kidnaping attempt of his girlfriend, Angelica Summers. Extreme simply stands there, and LETS Xavier try and beat on him! It has no effect! He's already HULKING UP! A pissed Extreme RIPS the bandage off his head, pointing to the damage done to him by Xavier and company. The crowd is nearing a riot, as Extreme TEARS Xavier to pieces with about 20 punches in stead of the normal setup 3 in the Hulk up process. But hey, sometimes, even the man himself utilized more than 3 punches when he deemed necessary. Extreme whips Xavier off the ropes, uses the AXXXXXEEEEE BOMMMMBAAAAAAA (which he always uses instead of the big boot, for a more vicious effect), and once Xavier is floored, Extreme needs only to look at the crowd, who already are DEMANDING a legdrop. Extreme cups the hand anyways, faking that he somehow couldn't hear the insanely loud crowd's request. They gladly get louder, and Extreme then pretends he finally got the message, running off the ropes, leaping in the air for some MAJOR air, hitting the legdrop! Extreme goes for the academic pin, with the crowd counting the whole time, 1-2-NO?! Extreme lifted him up! Xavier is out cold, but Extreme looks over to his can of weapons! The fans understand what he wants to do here! Vance & Dean say it's all part of his retribution, Extreme wants to make him suffer. Extreme pulls out a kendo stick, holds it up to the crazy loud pop, then starts to BEATING XAVIER TO HELL WITH THE CANE! Extreme just UNLOADS like 15 nasty shots with the thing, before slamming it down! He goes back to the can, pulls out a large stop sign, then props the sign on the nearly dead Xavier's face! Extreme then picks the cane back up, and POUNDS THE SIGN INTO HIS FACE WITH THE CANE! Damn! Don't EVER mess with Extreme's girlfriend, or attack him like a punk, he'll kill you. After he's done with that, he leaves the busted up sign on Xavier's face, puts the hand to his ear again, and the raucous crowd cheer him on all the way as he bounds off the ropes for the MEGA LEGDROP!!! The sign must be buried in Xavier's face by now. Since he pretty much murdered him, Extreme decides to pin him, as the fans count along, knowing full when it's over. 1-2-3, Extreme wins! The fans continue to go ballistic, as Extreme discards the bloody Xavier over the top rope, and awaits his next opponent/victim. The Reverend's music hits, and he slowly walks out, obviously having seen what Extreme did to his partner, looking scared shitless at the prospect of stepping in the ring with the fuming Extreme.
*Winner* Extreme Superstar

Hardcore Gauntlet Match 2: Extreme Superstar vs The Reverend
The fans start chanting "You're a dead man!" at Reverend, knowing full well the insanely pissed Extreme is just ITCHING to rip him apart. Rev calmly enters, expecting Extreme to rush him, but all he does is stand on the far side of the ring, seething in his anger. Extreme doesn't move, he simply stares at Reverend with an almost devilish look on his face that says "You are going to die". Rev, having no choice, goes for the can of weapons, grabbing the trash can lid. Extreme still isn't moving, almost daring Rev to hit him. Rev does, coming down hard on him with the metal lid! It hits with a nice crack that makes the crowd let out an "Ooooh!". Extreme dropped down to his knees when he takes the shot, but he stands right back up, shaking in rage! He HAS lost his mind! The fans are shocked, as are Vance & Dean, not to mention Rev, who is now beyond terrified. Extreme BEGS for another shot, seemingly getting riled up by the pain! Rev comes down with a second shot, even harder than the first, causing everyone to let out another "Ooooh!" sound, and the lid is totally warped from the impact. The fans start up an "SWF! SWF!" chant, like the old "ECW! ECW!" chants that would start up in that company when something "hardcore" happened. Extreme falls on impact, but like before, he rises right back up, now with a bit of blood coming from his forehead, opening up his old wound. The shot only seems to further his rage, and he FINALLY attacks Rev, beating the hell out of him, sending him to the canvas, as he goes to grab the trash can itself. As Rev strives to get up, Extreme comes crashing down on him with about 5 major trash can shots to the head! Rev is out cold, but Extreme isn't done! He drops the can, and pulls it back open, as it dented shut when he blasted Rev with it. he reaches way down, grabbing for one of the weapons still inside of it. He pulls out a STAPLER! That is a move right from ECW wrestler New Jack's play book! Extreme holds it up to the fans, then calls out to them "You want to see me show this bastard REAL hardcore?!" the fans, eating this up, scream back "YES!", so he replies "I'll show him hardcore!", to a GIANT pop. Extreme then takes the stapler, and starts stapling Rev's now bloody head! Rev writhes in pain, while Extreme starts stapling him all over his body before they run out, at which point, he bashes him in the head with the stapler! Extreme discards the stapler, then places the mangled can near the middle of the ring, before picking Rev up onto his shoulders in a firemen's carry! He is going for his much talked about (in various wrestling circles, Extreme has been rumored to be waiting for the time to bust it out) running, jumping, version of the F-5, the Thunder in Paradise (a tribute to his hero, Hulk Hogan, who had a TV show by that name)! The fans pop huge, obviously hearing of the fabled move, and Extreme steps back, runs forward, and does a jumping drop, as he spins Rev down for the impact, making sure he lands on the trash can! Extreme jumps up, and starts playing to the fans, who cheer at unreal volumes, before going for the easy pin, 1-2-3, Extreme kills another one, only Daimon remains.
*Winner* Extreme Superstar

Hardcore Gauntlet Match 3: Extreme Superstar vs Daimon
Extreme kicks Rev out of the ring, takes to a far corner, relaxes to catch his breath, grabs the kendo stick, and awaits Daimon. Daimon soon comes out, and Extreme looks ready. Once Daimon steps into the ring, Extreme stares at him from across the ring, then tosses his weapon aside! He wants to go head to head with the 7'7 500lbs monster! Extreme, showing no fear, charges right towards Daimon, as the crowd go wild, giving Extreme mad props for wanting to take on the big man straight up, without an equalizer. The two men come together, as Daimon starts to hammer on Extreme, who feels the impact, but refuses to back down, plugging away, getting in a few shots of his own. Daimon ends up knocking Extreme away though, finally slowing down the incredible momentum he has built for himself during the course of the Gauntlet. Daimon goes on the attack, but Extreme won't just take it, he fights back from his knees, before grabbing his kendo stick, and bringing it right up to crotch Daimon hard with it! The fans respond favorably, as Daimon reels in pain, allowing Extreme to get up. When he does make it up, Extreme wastes no time delivering some hard cane shots, sending the big man to his knees. As the big man is in a kneeled daze, Extreme grabs a nearby parking sign that was once in the trash can, then blasts Daimon in the head with it! Daimon is still kneeling though, but pretty out of it. Extreme drops the sign in front of the weary man, runs off the far side, coming off to catch Daimon's head, for a running DDT, sending Daimon's head into the sign! Daimon is down now, but Extreme isn't done yet. He leaves the ring, and starts to look under it, pulling out a fire extinguisher, followed by a table! The fans pop huge, always up for a good table spot. Extreme slides the table in, then carries the extinguisher in, as Daimon start to stir. Extreme sets down the extinguisher, then drags the table over to the far side of the ring, before setting it up. He goes back to Daimon, then sprays him with the extinguisher to wake up him! When he is up, Extreme sprays him again, right in the face, blinding him, before blasting him with the extinguisher itself a few times! Daimon drops, and Extreme looks towards the table, signaling that it might be time to use it, which the fans love, but he nods his head no, before saying "That just isn't hardcore enough!", then he leaves the ring again, goes under another side of the ring, where he pulls out a large coil of barbed wire! The fans erupt, as Vance & Dean talk up this "New, more hardcore Extreme" we are seeing. Extreme rushes back to the ring, with the wire in hand, which he uses to start whipping Daimon with! As Daimon fights up, Extreme unravels it, and quickly starts to wrap him up in the wire, so he is now completely helpless! Extreme starts rocking Daimon towards the table set up, finally dropping him onto it using another hard shot with the fire extinguisher. With Daimon out on the table, Extreme signals he is gonna go up top to put him through it! Instead of going up in the corner a few feet from the prone man on the table, Extreme goes up on the other side, where he is a few more feet away! Extreme plays up to the fans before FLYING off the top, doing a full flip, then REVERSES INTO A SHOOTING STAR PRESS right before hitting the table! Vance & Dean say it is a move Extreme has talked about doing, which he calls "Zero Gravity". The fans start a "Holy Shit!" chant, as Extreme stays on his prone opponent, both laying in a mess of barbed wire and table scraps, with the ref coming down to count the pin, 1...........2..........3! Extreme did it! The crowd LOSES it, and start chanting "Superstar! Superstar!" as the bell rings.
*Winner* Extreme Superstar

Post Match, Extreme, rather beaten up from the last bump, and probably just tired in general from pulling triple duty, rolls Daimon from the ring, as he celebrates to adoring fans, who continue their loud chants as his music hits. Angelica Summers then runs down the aisle to help her man celebrate this hard earned victory before they walk to the back together, while Vance & Dean talk up how hardcore Extreme can get, saying he truly is the Extreme one, and the Innovator of Extreme.

We head up to Vance & Dean, who talk up the SWF's next PPV offering, War Games as the ring is being cleaned up, and to give the fans the chants to settle down after that awesome contest. They say the show will be taking place on Friday, September 24th, an event headlined by the SWF's version of the classic contest. They mention the event will be held on the anniversary of the SWF, live from the SWF Superdome! That leads them to bring up the special SWF anniversary show to be held on a special Wednesday night broadcast, September 29th, set to honor the best moments/matches/etc in the SWF's history thus far, as voted by us the fans, through a ballot on the SWF website. They announce that voting is up, starting tonight, and will be open until the night before the show, encouraging fans to register. They say this anniversary show will take the place of SWF Main Event, which will NOT air on the 25th of September, the night after War Games. Conversation returns to War Games, as they say the event will be special, since it is going to be held on the anniversary of the SWF, the fans will, like for SWF anniversary show, play a big part, since they will actually vote for the matches, as a way of saying thanks for their support! The way it will work is that, also starting tonight, fans will be able to vote on the SWF website for the War Games match participants. They will pick their 5 favorite, and 5 most hated SWF talents, who they want to see face off in the War Games match. The 5 top vote getters on each side, will be announced as participants in the War Games match on the Sept. 11th SWF Main Event broadcast. Then, after that, they will then have a chance to vote for ALL the other matches on the card, choosing the opponents for the SWF title holders, barring they are not in the War Games match, and pick special "Grudge" matches, matches the fans want to see to settle issues. Fans will even be able to vote on the match types as well! Vance says that since we don't know who will be chosen to be in the War Games match, they we'll have to wait until the Sept. 11th show to see how voting will commence for the other matches. He does say though that voting will be announced, and start on the 11th for the other War Games matches, right after we find out the contestants of fan picked War Games match. This leads Dean to tell us that the SWF version of the War Games match is different than a traditional version of the match. There will still be the huge, roofed cage, and it will take place in one ring, not two like WCW had done in some versions of the match. The stips of the match are, one randomly chosen man from each team will start, and after a five minute period, another man from one of the teams will enter, decided by an opening coin toss. After that, alternating members will enter the contest until all men have entered. In the SWF War Games match, you can lose only by surrendering, meaning you refuse to continue, submission (being a tap out in a submission hold), or if you are knocked unconscious, and can't answer a referee's ten count. This can happen at ANY time during the match, not just when all team members are in. ALL members of one side must be eliminated to declare a winner, not just one team member. The last men left are declared the "Winners of the War". There aren't any titles, or title shots on the line in this, just the chance to see the top SWF talents, as deemed by the fans, fight it out in a brutal war for supremacy. Vance & Dean talk it up, saying it should be exciting, but also very intense, then joke that they hope they aren't considered that popular/hated, or are eligible for the voting, since they want no part of it. In a final program note, they mention SWF Main Event will NOT air September 4th, due to a goodwill tour the SWF is doing in Asia. Now, we return to the ring for the next match.


SWF 6 Man title match: The Breakfast Club vs The Bell Kids
TBC come out as usual, with stable mates Rich Girl & The Freak, and a nice pop from the crowd. The Bell Kids (now dubbed TBK) come out with Belding, and fellow stable members Kelly, Lisa, & Jessie, to major heel heat, these fans aren't accepting of the happy go lucky kids. It should also be noted TBC are billed as being from the fictitious Shermer Illinois, the setting of the Breakfast Club film, and other teen classics by Director John Hughes. TBK are said to be from Bayside High, the school from Saved by the Bell. Before the match, each side have a group huddle, as TBC look ready to fight, and TBK do some sort of "Let's go Bayside!" cheer, with Belding giving the participants of the match hugs, much to the fans disdain. Burnout starts for TBC, taking on Zach. Burnout controls the first few minutes, but Zach fights back enough to make the tag to Slater. Slater fares much better, using his power to steam roll over Burnout, forcing him to tag TBC's powerhouse, The Jock. We now have a battle of the, well, jocks. Slater is quite a bit more muscular than Jock, but Jock is scrappy, and uses mat based wrestling to take him down. The announcers use this time to discuss how this is TBK's wrestling debut (although Belding did face off with TBC's nemesis Principal Vernon). They also talk about TBC still being relatively new, and fill us in on everyone's finishers. Burnout has been seen to use the Death Valley Driver, Nerd uses a Lionsault, and Jock uses an implant DDT. As for TBK, Zach is said to have chosen a reverse Twist of Fate, Slater uses an Arn Anderson like spinebuster, and Screech likes a standing moonsault. They have no special names for these moves. Back to the match, Slater fights back with mat skills of his own, before making the tag to Screech. Screech comes in, as Jock decides to tag in Nerd for the battle of the geeks! The fans pop for the showdown, and the two tear into each other! Nerd wins the fisticuffs, the whips Screech off the ropes, running off the other side himself, ready to hit a move on him, when Jessie trips him! The fans boo, and Rich Girl & Freak have seen enough, storming the three TBK ladies! We have a catfight! The fans love it, as the feisty TBC girls fight all three TBK girls, with Belding running over to try to break it up. Being over by them, Burnout and Jock go to try to stop the fight, end up brawling with Belding, and Zach & Slater are forced to enter into the fray too! The ref, seeing things so out of hand, has not choice but to turn his attention to the fracas, calling from the ring for the brawl to stop. Back in the ring, Nerd recovers to attack Screech, hitting an enziguri! With Screech down, Nerd goes for the Lionsault, as Principal Vernon rushes from the back! As Nerd tries to springboard off the ropes closest to the aisle, Vernon reaches there in time to blast him with some kind of brass knux or something! The ref never saw it! Nerd falls right to the mat, as the fans boo loudly, and Vernon walks off again, holding up his famous "screw you" hand signal from the movie, even saying "Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns!". Screech is able to recover, seeing Nerd out cold, he grabs the ref's attention as he covers him! Before Burnout & Jock can escape the brawl on the floor, 1-2-3! The Bell Kids have done it!
*Winners, and NEW SWF 6 Man champions* The Bell Kids

Post Match: Everyone is shocked, as Slater, Belding, & Zach beat down Burnout & Jock to finally get away from them, as TBK women do the same to Rich Girl & Freak, all making their way in to celebrate the victory. Vance & Dean talk up the impressive nature of TBK winning titles in their first match. The fans boo heavily, as TBK take their party to the back, Zach, Slater, & Screech holding their belts high in the air, while TBC struggles to get up at ringside.

We head backstage, where Angelica Summers is with Walter, who is set to face Jack Suicide for his Hardcore title next. She interviews him:

Angelica: Walter, having won the New Blood 6 man match at Redemption, you earned a title shot of your choice. Is there any specific reason you chose the Hardcore title?

Walter(intense): I'll tell you why. Angelica, we live in a world where nobody follows the rules anymore. (getting riled up) A world where during league play, a bowler is free to step over the line, and NOT get an automatic zero! A world where my personal beliefs aren't taken into consideration when it comes to scheduling tournament games! If nobody is going to follow the rules, I guess I shouldn't either. In hardcore wrestling, there aren't any rules, and since that is how society is nowadays, I'm MORE than willing to oblige! The whole world has gone crazy, and I can get just as crazy as anyone!

Angelica(looks a bit weirded out by the psychotic man): I see. But what are your thoughts on tonight's match? I'm sure you are well aware your opponent isn't coming in at 100%, facing two brutal attacks recently, suffering some broken ribs and a mild concussion. Does this factor in to how you plan to approach the match?

Walter(laughs): Jack Suicide may be hurt, but there are no excuses on the battlefield. Injured or not, you must be prepared to take whatever the enemy has to throw at you. I've been in the line of fire, bleeding and suffering, but did I let that stop my mission? HELL NO! I fought the pain, and did the job I was sent there to do! (looks at the camera) So, Jack Suicide, I'm ready to see what you got, and ready to take away your SWF Hardcore title!

Walter walks off, as Angelica has a look on her face that says "WTF is with that guy?", then we cut back live to the ring, where Walter's music hits, and he comes out for his match.

SWF Hardcore title match: Jack Suicide vs Walter
Walter enters to a mixed reaction, some people getting into the Big Lebowski take, or seeing him as a straight up heel. He is carrying a green military duffel bag, presumably loaded with weapons. Jack comes out next, to a big pop, with taped up ribs, and a bandaged head. Walter wastes no time attacking, swinging his bag at him, knocking him to the canvas. with Jack down, Walter opens the bag, and pulls out a bowling bag. Jack front dropkicks him before anything else can come of this, and begins to mount his offense. Jack comes on strong for some time, before Walter uses a front fall away slam to bust up Jack's ribs, leaving him prone to attack. Walter grabs a bowling pin from his duffel bag, then starts bashing Jack with it! Jack seems to have busted his head wound open again, while Walter uses slams, punches, and kicks to wear down Jack's injured ribs. After a while, poor Jack is really hurting, obviously further damaging his ribs. Jack valiantly tries to come back, using a sitting jawbreaker, but his pain prevents a follow up. Walter uses a pumphandle slam to put Jack down, before going to his bowling bag, removing a shiny gold ball, like Walter's in The Big Lebowski! Walter puts his fingers in the holes, in a ready to bowl stance, and stalks around his hurt foe, measuring up for some kind of shot with the ball! Jack struggles to his feet, and Walter pulls back the arm like he was bowling, then sends it right into Jack's crotch at top speed! OUCH! The entire crowd let out a massive "Ooooh!" after that, as Walter covers for the pin! 1-2-3! Walter did it! What an upset! The fans actually pop for Walter, his use of the bowling ball seems to have helped get him over.
*Winner, and NEW SWF Hardcore champion* Walter

Post Match: Walter grabs his belt, and leaves, as Jack lays in pain on the mat. Vance & Dean play up his gutsy performance, but question him being out there. The fans applaud as Jack is helped to the back by SWF officials.


3 Team Dance SWF Tag Team title match: The Black Dragons vs Petey Pizzazz/JuJu vs Randy Mann/Beef Macho
In this match, it should be noted that one man from two teams wrestles at a time, and they can tag anyone else at anytime. BOTH members of a team must be eliminated as well. Being the tag champs, Shadow is sent in first for the Dragons, and JuJu starts with him. JuJu is ready to fight tonight, and beats him for a bit, until Shadow tags Beef in. Beef gets an early flurry, but JuJu wears him down, then hits the JuJu Driver! JuJu goes for the pin, as Petey trips up Randy when he tries to break the cover! 1-2-3! Beef is eliminated! As he is his Beef's partner, Randy is declared the new legal man, and he enters, all pissed his partner was eliminated. Randy unloads on JuJu, then eventually is taken down with a sidewalk slam. Randy fights back up, then scores a DDT, mounts the top rope, and comes off with the Body Shot! Petey enters to break the pin as Randy covers, but Quow steps in to BLAST him with his Death Kick finisher! 1-2-3, Randy pins JuJu! Petey, who is laid out on the mat from being hit with the Death Kick, is now the legal man since his partner is eliminated. Randy, not being a dummy, immediately covers him, 1-2-3! Petey is gone! Only Randy is left vs the tag champs! Dean comments on how he is in a tight spot, facing the top team in the SWF, especially since Quow has yet to wrestle, so he's coming in fresh. And wouldn't you know, Quow enters to replace the eliminated Petey, doing a number on Randy. Randy, refusing to give up, mounts a big comeback, after a few minutes of being drilled with all kinds of vicious martial arts offense. Randy nails a spinebuster on Quow, covers him, but only gets two. The move really wore Quow down though, and he uses the chance to escape after the kick out to make the leaping tag to Shadow, kicking Randy in the face to daze him. Before Randy can even shift his focus, Shadow soars in the ring, taking flight, coming right in with his finisher, the Flying Wizard! He nailed it! Shadow covers Randy, and 1-2-3! The champs retain!
*Winners, and STILL SWF Tag Team Champions* The Black Dragons


SWF Television title match: The Mercenary vs Jules
Newcomer Jules is over with the fans, who must love the character from Pulp Fiction he's based on. Jules is billed as from South Central Los Angeles, btw. Merc, pissed as usual, wastes no time beating down Jules, but to his dismay, the street tough Jules fights right back. Merc takes things back to his favor, but just when it seems to be done for Jules, as the fans rally behind him, he fights back again. Jules turns it up, dominated, the nails the BMF Bomb out of nowhere! Jules covers, 1............2...............3! Jules won the title!
*Winner, and NEW SWF Television Champion* Jules

Post Match: The new champ celebrates to the cheering crowd, while Vance & Dean talk up how all the newcomers have been making an impact, and how talented Jules is proving to be.

4 Way Dance SWF United States title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Silkky Smooth vs Jahalaman Jaffe vs Ayatollah Sheik
In this, all 4 men are permitted to fight at once, and yes, 4 Way Dances are held under elimination rules, this isn't one fall, like a Fatal 4 Way. The four are quick to pair off, Sheik attacks Freedom, as Jaffe brawls with Silkky. After a few minutes of fighting, Jaffe counters a Silkky Slam attempt, kicks him in the gut, then hits the Arabian Goodnight! 1-2-3, Silkky is gone! Jaffe resigns to hang back, as Freedom is now doing a number on Sheik. When he sees how fired up Freedom is though, Jaffe sneaks over to him, then clips his knee, and starts pounding away as Sheik recovers to help destroy Freedom. Vance brings up Jaffe & Sheik's Arab heritage, maybe the two share a bond, but then retracts, when Sheik attacks Jaffe from behind! Sheik screams at him about being a traitor, as the fans actually boo, despite Jaffe being a heel like Sheik. Vance says Sheik must not like how Jaffe embraces America, unlike himself, explaining the traitor comments. Sheik gets so carried away with beating Jaffe, he neglects to see Freedom sneak up from behind, then pick him up for the Star Spangled Slam! He hit it, and 1-2-3, Sheik is gone to a big pop! Jaffe is still pretty out of it, so all Freedom has to do is finish him off, and he does, hitting another Star spangled Slam for the final 1-2-3.
*Winner, and STILL SWF United States Champion* The Freedom Fighter


We head back up to Vance & Dean for the final hype heading into the main event. Dean reminds us this match is under no foul play rules, any cheating, or interference means automatic dismissal of the person who violates the rule. They say it could cement BDM as an even more dominant champion should he win, or usher in the era of Octane, with the SWF running solely on OCTANE POWER! That last bit is a joke, playing on how when Diesel was the WWF champ, the whole company was said to be running on Diesel Power. Without further ado, we go ringside, read for the main event.


Main Event: SWF World title match: The Billion Dollar Man vs Octane
BDM gets booed right out of the place, but that doesn't appear to rattle him, as he is very focused. Octane gets a mega pop upon his arrival, and he looks dead serious as usual. Once the bell rings, Octane KILLS BDM, rushing right out the gate, totally beating the hell out of him to a massive pop! BDM finally escapes, taking a powder on the outside to enormous boos. Octane, having none of that, goes out after him, causing BDM to run back in the ring, and catch Octane as he tries to get back in. BDM uses this to turn the tide, but for every bit of offense he dishes out, Octane takes it, then fires right back! This goes on for some time, as BDM throws his whole arsenal at him. BDM can't get the big man up for the Billion Dollar Bomb, so that move is out of the question, but after surviving another Octane onslaught, BDM sneaks behind, jumps on the large man's back, and hooks on the Billion Dollar Dream! Octane thrashes around, with the fans urging him to fight out of it, but BDM keeps the pressure on, thrashing about himself to apply more pressure. Octane starts to fall, as BDM smiles, but, much to BDM's chagrin, Octane summons one last burst of energy, pulls himself up from his knees, and runs BDM HARD into the corner! BDM got crushed! The fans pop huge, as BDM staggers out of the corner, into one of Octane's trademark running big boots! Right after the boot, Octane decides it's time to end it, and gets BDM into position for the Empty Tank! The fans are going WILD, as Vance & Dean ponder the end of BDM's title reign. Octane gets BDM all the way up, and DRIVES him down to another giant pop, as he goes for the pin. 1.................................2...........................3!!!!!!! Octane has won the title! The fans go NUTS, as the bell rings, and Octane is handed the gold.
*Winner, and NEW SWF World Champion* Octane

Post Match: The new champ holds his belt up for all to see, as the dazed BDM is walked to the back by the ref, unable to stand on his own. Pyro starts to go off, as Octane simply stands in the ring, with his title held high, looking as menacing as ever. Vance & Dean wonder just who, if anyone could possibly derail Octane, now that he has finally got his hands on the World title. Vance calls Octane "The most dominating man in the business", proclaiming a new era has begun, with no challengers on the horizon that can possibly beat him. As we see Octane stand tall in the ring, the show fades out.

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 8/21/04

Vance: Welcome to SWF Main Event! This week, we have some big matches lined up, a mere 6 days away from the SWF's summer ending spectacular, Heatwave!

Dean: Tonight fans, you will see some intense wrestling action, like only the SWF can bring! Here's what's on tap:

In the Heatwave tag team title shot bracket finals, we will see the Bracket 1 finalists, Rory Rogers & Charles Gunn face Petey Pizzazz & JuJu! In Bracket 2 finals, Randy Mann & Beef Macho will face Alabama Man & The Janitor! The winners of each bracket will advance to this Friday's Heatwave tag team title match, to face SWF Tag Team champs, The Black Dragons in a 3 Team Dance!

For revenge on the attack of his brother Jack last week, Mike Suicide has demanded to face off with a member of Faith & Devotion! The challenge was accepted, and Mike will face Reverend & Xavier's 7'7 monster Daimon!

Speaking of Faith & Devotion, they, along with Daimon, will be facing Extreme Superstar at Heatwave, in a Gauntlet Match, and tonight, on Petey's Parlor, Extreme will be on hand, said to have an announcement about that match, not to mention, discuss his apparent budding relationship with Angelica Summers!

And, in our main event, the man who will be getting a World title shot versus The Billion Dollar Man at Heatwave, Octane, will team with the SWF Tag Team champions, The Black Dragons, to take on Television champ, The Mercenary, & Cash Inc's own Joe Money & Jahalaman Jaffe!


Vance: Without further ado, Petey is standing by for Petey's Parlor, let's KICK IT OFF!


We head to the Petey's Parlor set, where Petey is standing with a mic, and JuJu as usual lurking in the background.

Petey: Hello everyone, and welcome to Petey's Parlor! Tonight, not only will me and JuJu win our match versus Rory & Charles, leading to our most assured tag title victory at Heatwave (big boos), but it's a big night for the Parlor. My guest is a man who some might say is THE man in the SWF, ladies and gentleman, EXTREME SUPERSTAR!

Extreme's music hits, and the fans pop huge, as Extreme walks out, all smiles, hand in hand with Angelica Summers! Extreme acknowledges his legions of fans, he and Angelica exchange pleasantries with Petey & JuJu, then Petey starts the interview:

Petey(points to Extreme & Angelica's hand holding): Well, I guess this answers my first question pretty clearly. (Extreme & Angelica smile) After you two kissed last week, then walked off together, the world has been wondering, was it a heat of the moment thing, after you Extreme rescued Angelica from Daimon, or were the rumors milling around about you two true. Tonight I see it obviously wasn't just a momentary sort of thing, you two are an item now I can safely assume?

Extreme(smiles): Yeah, we are Petey. (nice big pop for that)


Angelica(looking at Extreme): I think we both felt it since the day we met, and we've been close friends from the beginning. Last week, how we felt finally came out, something we have talked about secretly wanting for a long time.


Petey: Congratulations are in order I suppose, so congrats on getting together FINALLY! (laughs) Jeez, everyone in the back have been wondering how long it would take for you two to get together! (everyone smiles) Now, back to business. Extreme, now that your relationship with Angelica is cleared up, onto your Heatwave match versus Faith & Devotion, and Daimon. Considering what they tried to pull with that kidnaping Angelica stunt last week, I'm sure your angry, and probably has something to do with the announcement you wanted to make here about the match.


Extreme(serious): It does Petey. You see, part of our agreement is that should they win, they'll be reinstated into the hardcore division, able to keep trying to win, then banish the Hardcore title, and if I win, they stay out of hardcore competition, never to bring up the matter again. But, after their cowardly actions last week, (getting angry) I'm pretty damn pissed off! (big pop) It's for that reason, I am coming to Heatwave, ready to fight, and since they seem so eager to do some hardcore wrestling, our Gauntlet match will be under hardcore rules! (HUGE pop) I'll tell you this though (very serious, and angry, addressing the camera, speaking to his opponents), I've been in a few knock down drag out fights before, but they are NOTHING compared to what awaits you at Heatwave. (another big pop) When the night is through, and *I* am the last man left standing, the world will see just how extreme, Extreme Superstar is!

The fans pop huge, as Extreme walks off with Angelica, and his music starts playing. Petey calls an end to the Parlor, telling SWF Tag champs The Black Dragons to be ready to lose their belts at Heatwave, as he and JuJu will win their qualifying match tonight, then win the gold at the PPV. Petey says for them to hit his music, as he and JuJu are headed to ring, their match is next!


Tag title shot tourney: Bracket 1 Finals: Rory Rogers & Charles Gunn vs Petey Pizzazz & JuJu
JuJu starts with Rory, dominating until tagging to Petey, who keeps up the pressure. With both teams being heels, the fans seem to be siding with Petey/JuJu, Petey being charismatic, and JuJu being more of a tweener, one who is a badass monster. Charles tags in, and cleans house, causing the fans to change their minds, and rally behind him, as Petey starts acting cowardly, then busts out a thumb to the eye, a time tested heat getter. Petey taunts the booing fans, securely establishing his heel act again. Petey controls, then Charles builds up to a comeback after escaping a nice chicken wing/chinlock, but out of nowhere, Petey pops up to hit the Piece of Pizzazz! JuJu takes out Rory as he charges in to prevent a pin, allowing Petey to pick up the 1-2-3! Petey & JuJu might make good on their word, and win the tag belts, now they have a chance at them. The next match though, will tell the tale of the third team in that match.
*Winners* Petey Pizzazz & JuJu

We head backstage, where Lt. Jim Dingle is handed another note, coming from his mystery stalker. This one says "I will be too busy in my final preparations to write for awhile mister policeman. But by my next letter, it will have begun. Catch me copper....if you can". Dingle is aggravated by the letter, calling out loud for everyone to hear, wanting to know just who is behind it. He says the following aloud, to the stalker, who may be listening:

Dingle: Whoever you are, I hope you know just how serious of trouble you can get into by sending these types of letters! When I was twenty sev......13.......when I was 13, I sent tons of letters to Mark Linn-Baker, and the next think you know, the SWAT team is busting down my door at 3am, and I got locked up for sending obscene pictures! (crew members in earshot of all stop, then stare at Dingle in disgusted silence. Dingle laughs nervously, then responds meekly) It's not my fault those photos got mixed in with the ones I was sending. I only meant to send the pictures of my Perfect Strangers diorama, depicting Larry teaching Balki to drive! Those other photos were on the same roll, they were supposed to go to the Purple Panther nightclub as part of my resume. (everyone is still standing there, leering at him) I NEEDED MONEY! So what? Haven't you people ever heard of moonlighting? Being a cop doesn't exactly pay a king's ransom.

Male Crew Member(speaks up to break the silence): Dude, how could you be a cop, or applying to some strip joint at 13 years old?

Female Crew Member(chiming in): You weren't 13, Jim! I heard you, you almost said 27! You were 27! Don't lie, at least not so blatantly.

Dingle(mortified, and upset): Fine. I was 27 years old when it happened, OK EVERYONE?! (angry, people are snickering) Have your fun people, just LAUGH, and LAUGH at the "weird guy". You have no right to judge me! You don't know me!

Dingle runs off like a crying little girl, with everyone else laughing at him. BTW, Mark Linn-Baker was the exceedingly talented Larry Appleton aka Cousin Larry from the classic 80's sitcom Perfect Strangers. In any event, we head back to the ring for the next match.


Tag title shot tourney: Bracket 2 Finals: Randy Mann & Beef Macho vs Alabama Man & The Janitor
Randy starts with Janitor, and Janitor takes him to town, before Randy makes a comeback, only to quickly tag in Beef. We have the opposite of the Bracket 1 match earlier, as Vance & Dean point out, with two fan favorite teams in action. Randy/Beef seem to have the majority of support, since AM is still unproven, but Janitor is super over. Back to action, Beef tries to fight Janitor, but he's way to fired up. Janitor has things in hand, before Beef slips away to tag Randy back in. Randy fares much better this time, taking some of the starch out of Janitor. Janitor ends up tagging AM, who turns it around with a timely assist from his manager, Miss Alabama, who hops on the apron to lure Randy over. AM rolls Randy up as he sweet talks Miss Alabama, 1............2...........NO! Almost had him! Randy, sensing how close he was to defeat, fights off AM to tag back in Beef. Beef bring it hard, nailing the Beefy Bomb after a few more minutes of action! Beef covers AM, while Randy runs in to meet Janitor with a punch before he can break the pin, 1-2-3! Randy & Beef are now the third team in the Heatwave tag title match!
*Winners* Randy Mann & Beef Macho


Post Match: Randy/Beef celebrate to the back, while Janitor & Miss Alabama help up AM. AM seems apologetic for the loss, and Janitor shrugs, signaling no hard feelings. The two men shake hands, the fans applaud this, and all three leave together in a classy display of sportsmanship.


We cut backstage, where a fight has broken out in the parking lot between Tony Ramon & The Don! The Don popped up from behind to take Tony down with a shovel shot! Don starts yelling at Tony, saying that he, being Don, isn't a pushover like most think, and that he's gonna go "Push some dirt over you!". Don loads Tony into the nearby open trunk of his white luxury sedan, complete with gold accents. SWF officials try to stop him, but Don swings his shovel at them, making sure they stay back. He then closes the trunk, gets inside, and drives off! We hear SWF officials shouting for someone to follow the car! Everyone runs off, as we go back live, for out next match.

Daimon vs Mike Suicide
Daimon has chosen Rob Zombie's Superbeast as his theme it should be noted. Mike's music hits, and he comes out to a huge pop, looking pissed, wielding a chair in one hand, and a mic in the other! He says he is pissed about what Faith & Devotion, and Daimon did to his brother, Jack (who is said, WILL be able to make his Heatwave title defense), and considering the personal nature of the match, he asked Extreme if he'd mind if this match was held under hardcore rules! The fans pop huge, and Mike says Extreme said ok to it! Mike drops the mic, and runs to the ring with the chair, ready to blast Daimon with it as the bell rings for the start of the REAL match.

Hardcore match: Daimon vs Mike Suicide
Mike enters, using the chair to start smacking Daimon with, rocking Daimon with the chair, before he boots it into Mike's face! Daimon starts brutalizing Mike as The Reverend & Xavier Hawthorne III suddenly run from the crowd! They enter, and help Daimon beat Mike to a pulp, while the ref is forced to watch, the group even threaten him about not leaving! It's a hardcore match, this is perfectly legal! The fans buzz, and look to the aisle, hoping someone will help, when a bandaged Jack Suicide storms the ring, with a chair of his own! He tries valiantly to fend off F&D/Daimon, but ultimately, he succumbs to their attack. Then, Extreme Superstar rushes the ring! He's got a chair too, and the fans explode at his arrival. He starts swinging, with F&D/Daimon scattering from the ring in different directions. F&D/Daimon make like they are going to retreat, while Extreme tends to Jack & Mike, who are out cold in the ring. As he does this, F&D/Daimon run back in to ambush Extreme! The three men start pounding on him, before using the chair to really keep him down. They take turns assaulting Extreme, bloodying him! Not satisfied, Daimon gives Extreme his finisher, formerly the Giant Drop, but now, according to Vance & Dean, is the Decent to Hell. Daimon/Reverend lift the limp Extreme, as Xavier administers his finisher, the Morality Kick! Reverend soon follows with his own finisher, Divine Intervention! None of this is enough though, as Daimon & Xavier hold the bloody Extreme up, as Reverend picks up on of the chairs laying in the ring! He screams "How do you like hardcore now?!", before SMASHING Extreme right on the top of the head with it, making a SICK noise! Extreme was already out of it, and his hands were being held, so he had no protection at all. The fans are PISSED at this beat down, throwing crap into the ring, while Daimon kicks over the unconscious body of Mike Suicide, then ends the actual "match" by scoring the 1-2-3.
*Winner* Daimon

Post Match: F&D/Daimon strut around to Daimons music, and the absolute hatred of the fans, before kicking the downed men in the ring, then dumping Jack & Mike out of the ring. They punish the bloody, passed out Extreme a bit more, then grab him, and push his bloodied face close to the camera, yelling about how they intend to teach all sinners a lesson, even the man himself, Extreme Superstar. The group then leave with fans throwing more garbage at them, while EMTs run down to aid the three beaten men in the ring, with a distraught Angelica Summers following close behind.

We head back to the announce booth, where the sickened Vance & Dean express their anger over what just happened. This is going out to the live fans too, and Vance assures everyone, being fighting competitors, despite further injuries Jack might have sustained tonight, and however hurt Extreme is, there is NO way they would miss out on their Heatwave matches. The fans pop mega, especially when Vance & Dean say they want Extreme to seriously mess up (well, teach them a lesson, but same thing) F&D/Daimon, and wish Jack good luck in gutting it out in his Hardcore title match with Walter at the PPV. Vance & Dean also report The Don was followed by SWF officials, and Tony Ramon was saved just in time, before being dumped off in the woods. They say this adds further intrigue to the two's upcoming Heatwave grudge match. Vance & Dean do some last minute hype before the main event, then we kick it to the ring for the match.


Main Event: Octane & The Black Dragons vs The Mercenary & Cash Inc

Shadow starts with Merc, and Merc is overcome by a short flurry of Shadow's martial arts, before tripping him up, then starting to use his brute strength to wear him down. Merc seems motivated tonight, prepping for his big title defense at Heatwave, and from what Dean says, recouping from some kind of nagging shoulder injury that has limited his schedule lately, explaining why he has been rather scarce. Merc has things going his way for several minutes, with it looking like Shadow might not last much longer. Merc finally goes for the Mercy Kill, but Shadow escapes, uses a few offensive kicks, before leaping to tag Quow! The fans pop big, as Merc decides it's time to tag a fresh man to face the riled Quow. Jaffe tags in, and Quow schools him, only for Joe Money to sneak in, and hit Quow from behind to ruin the momentum! This draws in Octane & Shadow, but the ref cuts them off, while all three of their opponents are now able to beat on Quow! Order is finally restored, and Quow is in desperate need of a tag. Jaffe keeps up his attack, while fans rally for Quow to tag in his only fresh partner, the massively over Octane. After a while, Jaffe tries a second rope elbow, but nobody's home, and Quow makes the SUPER hot tag to Octane! The fans are going nuts, Octane steps in, boots Jaffe almost out of his boots, then gives two more big boots to Merc & Joe, who couldn't resist running in! Octane picks up Joe, BAM! Empty Tank! Then, he picks up Merc, BAM! Empty Tank! Those two are gone now, so Octane turns back to the legal man, Jaffe, and BAM! Dishes out an Empty Tank on him! He polished off the whole team in seconds! Octane goes for the pin, but The Billion Dollar Man storms the ring! As Octane covers for the two, BDM is in the ring, and he blasts him in the back of the head with his World title! The ref calls for the bell!
*Winners by DQ* Octane & The Black Dragons

Post Match: BDM sneaks back out before the Dragons, or the pissed off Octane could grab him, running to the back as Octane fiercely stares at him, he'll have his chance at him this Friday night! The winners have their hands raised, and the losers dazedly walk off to the back as we cut back to Vance & Dean to wrap things up.

Vance & Dean run do final hype for Heatwave, running down the final card:

SWF World title match: The Billion Dollar Man vs Octane- No foul play permitted

SWF U.S. title 4 Way Dance- The Freedom Fighter vs Jahalaman Jaffe vs Silkky Smooth vs Ayatollah Sheik

SWF TV title match- The Mercenary vs Jules

SWF Tag Team title 3 Team Dance- The Black Dragons vs Petey Pizzazz & JuJu vs Randy Mann & Beef Macho

SWF Hardcore title match- Jack Suicide vs Walter

SWF 6 Man title match- The Breakfast Club vs The Bell Kids

Hardcore Gauntlet match: Extreme Superstar vs Faith & Devotion & Daimon

Tony Ramon vs The Don


Vance & Dean say it will be a fantastic show, hailing live from Miami Beach, outdoors, right ON the beach itself, which promises to be an exciting atmosphere. They say they'll see us for Heatwave, and we fade out.

END OF SHOW

Special Article! The Best of the TWF

In this article, we will look back, in-depth at five of the greatest moments in the short history of Extreme Superstar's (the real one, not the SWF one) "other" promotion.

The New Era: The TWF started when Extreme Superstar packed it in with the EGWF, a move that shocked many, leaving them to wonder if Extreme would simply vanish. Within weeks, the man known as Extreme had a business partner by the name of Shasta McNasty, who together started the TWF. They wasted little time in signing talents, then setting up their first event. In what can best be described as a shock, the Extreme Superstar persona was nowhere to be found, he had been laid to rest, replaced by a bizarre comedy character named Chicken Neck, truly leaving the image of Extreme far behind. After only a few appearances, Chicken Neck was declared dead, and a NEW side of the former Extreme Superstar was unveiled, Mo Styles, a rich, flashy, and arrogant power player who made it known that HE was "The Man" in the TWF. This character turned out to be a smashing success, and the former Extreme's re-invention sparked a career high for him, delivering stellar promos, great matches, and dominating wrestling like nothing had ever changed. Somehow, against all odds, Mo Styles became just as big a hit as Extreme Superstar, ensuring the TWF had made good on it's promise to change the wrestling industry.

Psycho Freak Out: One of the revolutionary concepts of the TWF was that it fairly spotlighted women's wrestling, a move highly acclaimed in equal rights circles. Within the thriving female wrestling roster, was the prominent star Hardcore Chrissy, who had taken female sport entertainment to the next level, being active in hardcore competition. But, as great as her contribution to the TWF was, Chrissy had a problem, she was a fucking psycho. After losses, she would freak, and outside the ring, had frequent physical altercations with various TWF female talents, mainly her own sister, Heather Hardy. That was a feud that was brought into TWF storylines to capitalize on the reality of it, and caused the moment that made this list of best in the TWF. The two had a huge match during a TWF broadcast, hoping to quell some of the tensions that had been building, maybe even lead to a tearful reunion, which would bring even more positive press to the TWF. Heather Hardy, being the older, stronger sibling, handed Chrissy her ass in the hotly contested match, beating her soundly with little offense from Chrissy at all. This would simply not stand with the riled up Chrissy, furious at the embarrassing loss, breaking character, and beginning her legendary freak out. She started screaming, swearing, crying, and challenging people to fight, while the entire TWF roster rushed out to try to calm her down. The entire thing was too fuckin' hilarious though, as the TWF stars couldn't help but literally rolling around on the ground instead of really do anything, making Chrissy even more mad. She stormed off, heading for a garbage can, which she tossed around, telling people to fight her. Then, she found a large metal pipe, and starting swinging wildly at everyone, still wanting a fight. The pipe, in her crazy hands, was dangerous, but still, it was all too funny to stop laughing at. TWF talent even egged her on, laughing as she tripped over herself and the garbage can, trying to act tough when she really wasn't. After a while, Chrissy finally tired herself out, and gave up, allowing security to drag her away. Luckily, nobody got hurt by her nutball antics, and today we have it to remember as an eventful, hysterical moment in TWF history.

Mo Lays Down the Law: As always was the case in the female division, every talent seemed to hate each other, leading to a HUGE brawl in the ring between them, with Shasta McNasty running down to try to keep the peace. Mo Styles was nowhere to be found, when all the sudden, a suped up golfcart came barreling towards the ring! Mo Styles was at the wheel, running full tilt into the ring! The impact sent everyone flying, some spilling to the outside even, while Mo hopped out of the cart, telling them all that he was the law and order in the SWF, and as of then, people did NOT cross him! Mo's actions certainly sent a clear picture to the other SWF talents, and he, along with Shasta McNasty walked tall in the ring as his music played.

History is Made(In two ways): Being a progressive company, TWF broke all kinds of rules. This is really a two-part tale of the groundbreaking things TWF did. Our first story starts with rising tensions between partners Mo Styles & Shasta McNasty, part of the elite stable McStyles. They were the two top dogs in the TWF, so once they crushed all other competitors, the two were on a collision course for total in-ring supremacy. Things got heated when Mo lost a match to Shasta for the TWF World title. The two seemed at odds, then Mo started making deals on the side with Hardcore Chrissy, taking a dive in a European title match, giving Chrissy the belt. Mo would soon drop his Intercontinental title to Shasta as well, and the two had their falling out afterwards, thus ending the McStyles team. It was not long after, Mo announced Shasta was now his arch enemy, and he'd stop at nothing to get revenge, then made his new alliance with Hardcore Chrissy public! Mo said that he was a man of his word, and guaranteed, that with his help, Chrissy would make history, becoming the first women's world champion. Shasta laughed, because he was a big, dominant monster, and Chrissy was a little runt. Mo then told Shasta to put his money where his mouth was, issuing a World title challenge on behalf of Chrissy! Shasta excepted, and the epic match was on. Mo was ordered not to interfere in the match, but he still accompanied his charge to the ring. Before the bell, Mo grabbed a title belt at ringside, then blasted Shasta with it! Once the match officially started, Shasta was already out cold, and Chrissy pinned him, 1-2-3! She had done it, with serious help from Mo Styles, who celebrated with the new champ. Obviously, Shasta was furious, and wanted retribution, however, that would have to wait, as Mo announced that due to his help, he was set to face Chrissy in a "fair, spirited, goodwill" World title match! The match was set, starting with a showing of respect, when Shasta stormed the ring! Shasta floored Mo with a shot to the face, and he was left laying! Chrissy, wanting to win, covered Mo, 1-2-NO! Mo sprung to life, and rolled her up! 1-2-3! Mo was the champ again! He wasn't hurt! Shasta came back to the ring as Mo's music played, revealing to the world that it was all an elaborate scam to humiliate Chrissy for bribing TWF talent! The scam worked, Chrissy was left crying like a baby, while the still together McStyles grabbed a 24 pack of Coca Cola, then downed them all in Stone Cold style, with Stone Cold's music playing in the background. The other history making event happened before the first broke out, being Mo, pissed about the lack of rules in the TWF, being the owner, entered as the mystery third person in a Women's title match, sneaking in, and practically stealing the win before anyone ever understood what happened. Mo was now the Women's champ, then he took hold of the new Hardcore Women's title, using them as playthings to taunt people, before dropping the Women's title at will, only to toss himself to other Women's title matches to win the belt back whenever he felt like it, becoming a 3 time Women's champ, and carrying the Hardcore Women's champ throughout it's entire run.

Going Out in a Blaze of Glory: It was the end of the summer spectacular, which would also prove to be the final show in TWF history. Big matches were all signed, to be capped off by the SHOCKING TWF person making an appearance. Rumors circulated before the show about who it was, since they were billed as a mega star, when potential show canceling news broke. Mo Styles had decided to step away from the company! Some claimed it was a severe accident that would force him from the ring, others said it was a dispute with other TWF officials, and even that he was going to return to the EGWF, or start a new venture. Regardless of the reason, the sad announcement was made official the day of the show by 100% owner Shasta McNasty, but the company would move on with the show, that would dawn a new era for TWF, and they still hyped the mystery person surprise, who would be coming in as a full-fledged member of the TWF. Also, as a severe jab to the departed Mo, Shasta announced he had taken Chrissy as his new ally, even alluding to her full induction to McStyles at the big show! With this in mind, reports were dropping the names of some of the biggest, most legendary stars in wrestling, thinking they might enter to fill the void left by Mo Styles. At the end of the show, Shasta & Chrissy came out, with Shasta making it known that Mo was gone (having not appeared on the undercard), and he was set to announce the newest member of McStyles. But, in a startling move, it wasn't Hardcore Chrissy! Shasta declared that their big surprise for the show, the mystery man himself was the new member of McStyles! With that, Shasta asked the man to come out, and in the darkness of the night, we couldn't see him from the entrance, when the music hit. It was familiar music, the sounds of which hadn't been heard in some time, the music of the one, the ONLY..........EXTREME SUPERSTAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was pandemonium in TWF's Madison Circle Garden, Mo Styles may have been gone, but Extreme had risen again! Extreme came out, and all fired up, saying he was ready to shock the world again! The show closed with mass celebration, and surprise, as Extreme Superstar had invaded the TWF. With an ending like that, at least the TWF went out with a bang.