Cash Inc presents: Slamboree
We open with all three members of Cash Inc welcoming us to the show. The Billion Dollar Man says tonight ushers in a new era, one that will be more prosperous than anything the SWF had been before, which is a bold statement. BDM then kicks it to the live crowd, and we see the specially made set for the PPV. All the banners, and ring aprons are metallic green, with equally shiny silver writing on it all, saying "Slamboree". The entrance appears to be a giant black stretch limo, with the door being the opening for the wrestlers to come out of, which is pretty slick. The ring looks like the same familiar SWF ring, but with the Slamboree ring aprons, and green ropes. After a look around, we go to the announce booth, where Dean Bokerlund & Angelica Summers are shown to be the announce team (BDM had previously been filling in for Vance, who he fired, but now Angelica is since he's got a match tonight):
Angelica(not looking too thrilled, and obviously being fed her lines): Welcome to Cash Inc presents: Slamboree. Tonight promises to be an exiting night, one that marks the beginning of a new era in sports entertainment.
Dean(expressing similar feelings as Angelica): Just listen to the lineup for tonight:
In the main event for the SWF World title, The Billion Dollar Man defends against Crazy Phil
For the SWF U.S. title, The Freedom Fighter defends vs Petey Pizzazz
SWF TV champion, Octane will face The Mercenary for the title
SWF Tag Team champions, the Black Dragons defend against Cash Inc's Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money
In a Handicap match for the SWF Hardcore title, Jack Suicide will face Faith & Devotion, BDM says if F&D win, they can retire the belt if they want!
And, for the SWF 6 Man titles, The Breakfast Club's Jock, Burnout, & Nerd will defend against Yeti, The Don, & Tony Ramon.
Angelica: Without further ado, we take you to the opening contest.
SWF 6 Man title match: The Breakfast Club vs Yeti & Kings of the Street (Don & Tony)
The match goes great for the Breakfast Club, as The Jock keeps Don in for some time, and has him near defeat it seems. But then, Tony goes under the ring, grabs a pipe of some kind used to assemble the ring, and tosses it to Don! Don swings, but The Jock ducks, boots him in the gut, then grabs the pipe, and floors Don with it! The Jock goes right for the pin, while The Burnout & The Nerd hold off Tony & Yeti! 1-2-3! Breakfast Club retain!
WAIT! BDM's music hits, and he comes out with a mic, pointing out the use of the weapon, so he should reverse the decision and give Yeti/KOTS the win via DQ, but that would be unfair to them (and it wouldn't give his buddies the titles), he opts to restart the match. He then adds that he "forgot" to say this was elimination rules, and The Jock is eliminated by DQ for using the pipe! BDM just made up those rules! Now his friends have a 2 on 3 advantage! The match ends up starting again, and Yeti easily destroys The Burnout, then tags to Tony, who finishes The Nerd off just as easy.
*Winners, and NEW SWF 6 Man Champions* Yeti, The Don, & Tony Ramon
We go to a video, where we hear the now familiar Buffalo Billy music, and see Billy dancing in a robe ala the character he's based on did in Silence of the Lambs. Oh lord, he is starting to take his robe off, he's gonna dance around with his wiener tucked in like the movie! Thank goodness though, the camera cut off right before we see the disturbing dance. No info as to a debut or anything was provided in this video.
We then go backstage, and BDM is with Lt. James Dingle. BDM says he is in need of his services, since some expensive jewelry was stolen from his locker room. BDM says The Janitor was seen going in to the Cash Inc locker room earlier, and then rushing out quickly. A nearby crew member who overhears this chimes in, saying that Janitor has been with Crazy Phil all day, psyching him up for his big title match later on, and is across the street at the hotel. BDM says that is only a rumor, and several eye witnesses got a clear look at Janitor going to steal the merchandise. BDM says Janitor probably stashed it in his bag, and says he wants to go look there, but asks Dingle to hold off on that, as he has "business to tend to", and he walks off, quietly firing the crew member who spoke up as he does. Something is very fishy here, and I sense a setup.
SWF Television title match: Octane vs The Mercenary
Before the bell rings, BDM's music hits once again, and he comes out to say that before Octane can fight Mercenary, he must fight Rory Rogers?! BDM is scheming to make sure his friends win, and he has total power over the SWF, so nobody can stop him! Rory ends up running down, and Mercenary calmly steps to the outside to allow Rory to face Octane. Rory puts up a good fight, but he is quickly pinned after the Empty Tank, but BDM, who is still at the top of the aisle, sends out another guy, Charles Gunn! Octane has a few minute fight with Charles, then pins him, but BDM has ANOTHER opponent for him, Tex Gentry! This is SO unfair! Tex attacks from behind, as Mercenary watches on amused from th outside, as does BDM in the aisle. A pissed off Octane ends up killing Tex dead via the Empty Tank after a short battle, but after the 3 count, Captain Fantastic is introed by BDM as his next opponent! This is ridiculous, BDM has already made Octane face all three members of the Good Ol' Boys, now Captain Fantastic?! Fantastic doesn't seem too happy about getting a title shot this way, since he's an honest good guy, but BDM forces him by threatening to fire him if he doesn't comply. Fantastic then goes to the ring, and gives Octane an especially hard time, but after about 8 minutes or so of intense action, Octane manages to pin him. BDM just laughs, and says he must face ONE LAST GUY before Mercenary! A somewhat tired Octane looks to see who it will be, and Ayatollah Sheik charges from the crowd! Sheik pounds away vigorously on Octane, and keeps up the assault for several minutes, but Octane mounts a comeback with full support from the crowd. Sheik proves to be a tough challenge, and refuses to stay down, so this turns out to be a serious battle. After about another 10 minutes, a tired Octane finally scores with the Empty Tank to pin Sheik! Just as soon as the pin is counted, Mercenary slides in from behind, wielding a chair he grabbed at ringside! BDM provides a distraction, telling the ref over his mic to stop someone from jumping in the ring, but obviously there was nobody there, and this allows Mercenary to crown a tired Octane hard on the skull with the chair! Mercenary immediately covers Octane, and the ref turns to administer a fast count, as per BDM's orders! Mercenary wins the title, and Octane has been screwed!
*Winner, and NEW SWF Television Champion* The Mercenary
Post Match: Mercenary quickly grabs his belt, and runs off to the back, along with BDM as his music plays on, and the crowd chants "Bullshit!". Then, an angry finally Octane comes to, and storms furiously out of the ring.
We cut backstage, where BDM is on his way back to his locker room, or so it seems. He stops off to see SWF Hardcore champ, Jack Suicide. He tells Jack that his title match, which was to happen later on the card has been moved, to RIGHT NOW, so Jack grabs his belt, and books it to the ring, but he is attacked by Faith & Devotion as he runs down the hall! A referee just so happens to be with the duo, and the match is on!
SWF Hardcore title Handicap match: Jack Suicide vs Faith & Devotion
Due to the sneak attack, The Reverend is able to clock Jack with a picture on the wall, breaking it over his head, and he pins him! He won the title! The Hardcore title is to be no more!
*Winner, and NEW (and last?) SWF Hardcore Champion* The Reverend
Post Match: The Reverend grabs the title, and as he and Xavier celebrate, BDM walks up, saying that he is standing by his word, the title is now banished! Reverend surrenders the belt to BDM, who says the title will be locked away as a "historical piece" of SWF history!
BDM then walks off, and finds Dingle, saying he'd like to check and see if his stolen merch is in Janitor's bag. Dingle comments that he had been investigating, and nobody had even seen Janitor all day, and the hotel staff said him and Phil have been there relaxing all day, but Dingle just called to inform them to return to the arena. BDM says Janitor is only at the hotel as an alibi, that he stole the merch, and took off, since he was there earlier, to drop off his bags, and check in, as all SWF talents are required to do. They arrive at the dressing room, and sure enough, when they look in Janitor's bag, the missing jewelry is there. Out of "nowhere" BDM's Cash Inc cohorts just so happen to pop up, and act all shocked when BDM tells them of the "robbery". As this is going on, The Janitor arrives on the scene, only to be arrested for larceny! BDM tells Dingle he doesn't want to press serious charges, as he pities Janitor, and only wants him to spend the night in jail! It is apparently obvious that Jaffe & Joe planted the merch, so that BDM can do whatever he wants vs Phil in the main event without having to worry about Janitor coming down to help!
SWF Tag Team title match: The Black Dragons vs Cash Inc
The Dragons come on strong early on, but soon, Cash Inc assumes control. The two teams fight with all they have for about 15 minutes, but with Shadow and Joe in the ring, The Dragons mount the big comeback, and have things well in hand, seemingly on their way to victory. Meanwhile, Jaffe loads up his necklaces and rings onto his right hand, preparing to jump in and lay out the champs in the hopes to stay in the match. When Shadow sets up for his Flying Wizard finisher, Jaffe sees his chance, and charges in the ring, leaping in front of Shadow as he is in midair, clocking him with the loaded fist! The referee saw it all, as the move was blatant, with no attempt to hide the action. Having seen this, Quow Ling runs in as well, but he is also hit with the fist. Obviously, the ref calls for the bell, Dqing Cash Inc! But as is becoming the trend tonight, BDM comes out, saying this is a no dq match! BDM once again is making up the rules as he goes along to help his friends! What abuse of power! With no choice but to listen to the boss, the ref rings the bell for the restart, and Jaffe pulls Joe on the legal man, Shadow, easily scoring the pin since he, and his partner were laid out from the shots with the loaded hand! We have new champs, and the fans aren't happy, as BDM has once again manipulated everything tonight in his favor.
*Winners, and NEW SWF Tag Team Champions* Cash Inc
SWF United States title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz
The two men fight it out evenly, but when Freedom has things going his way, Petey punches out the ref! BDM then wanders out (surprise, surprise), saying that hitting the ref is ok, since this is also a no dq match, but now a new ref is needed, and he has just the guy for the job, JUJU! That's Petey's ally! This isn't fair! JuJu comes to the ring, and when Freedom gives him a warning about being fair, JuJu kicks him, then hits the JuJu Driver on him! BDM, still on the mic, says JuJu did the right thing, showing who was boss in the ring. Petey recovers, and drops a half hearted elbow to rub it in, since Freedom is already out cold, then covers him, for the even more insulting fast count!
*Winner, and NEW SWF U.S. Champion* Petey Pizzazz
Post Match: Petey & JuJu celebrate the victory, and kick Freedom out of the ring as BDM comes down to the ring, ready to address the crowd:
BDM: Well, it's main event time, and I'm already here, so let's do this. (Petey and JuJu leave, and Freedom is helped to the back) Everyone is getting cleared out, and the ref is bringing the title down with him (the ref comes out, carrying the title) so Phil, come on down!
Crazy Phil comes down to a big pop, but BDM holds him off, apparently wanting to say something to him before the match starts:
BDM: Phil, some people have said that I picked you to face me since, well, your pathetic. (big boos) Let's face it, you ALWAYS lose, and probably will do so for the rest of your career, and that is EXACTLY why I picked you to face me tonight. (more loud boos) I want to give you that one big chance at greatness Phil, that moment you see in the movies, where the underdog pulls off the unbelievable upset, because that is big business. Here we are, me, the not so popular, big money world champion, and you, the downtrodden, lovable challenger, who's chasing his dream, and everyone here tonight would love nothing more than to see you put me in my place by winning the title. (big pop) It's a win/win situation, if you win, sure, I'd be upset, embarrassed even, but it'd be huge, and if I win, I show everyone who is really in charge, and that the SWF is firmly under MY control! (loud boos) It is in that spirit I offer this, since I KNOW I can beat you, I have no problem putting up not only the SWF title, but full control over the SWF! (mega pop) I wouldn't get to excited people, this is merely to add a bit more prestige to the match, my victory is assured, so don't get your hopes up to high, your gonna be in for some serious disappointment. (HUGE boos, then Phil steals the mic away)
Phil(angry): We'll see!
Phil floors BDM with a punch, eliciting quite the ovation, the ref calls for the bell, and it's on!
SWF World title match: The Billion Dollar Man vs Crazy Phil
Phil keeps on punching, and tears the entrance garb off of BDM, as the fans go crazy. BDM tries to get away by taking off to the outside, but Phil gives chase, and continues his assault. BDM finally fires back some shots of his own, and tosses Phil into the ring steps to take control! BDM tosses Phil back in the ring, where he keeps the pressure on, wailing away with offense, hoping to put Phil away soon. BDM tries to pin Phil several times, but he refuses to stay down. BDM steps up his game, and goes for the Billion Dollar Bomb, but Phil fights away, then starts to make a comeback! The crowd gets really into this, and Phil pours it on, hitting the Crazy Crusher! He goes for the pin, 1....2...........NO! BDM managed to get his foot on the rope at the LAST possible second! The entire arena was on the edge of their seats, and the announcers also thought that was it too. Phil wisely just keeps on BDM, getting ready to try something else to put him away, but then, Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money run down to help BDM! But wait! Before they can reach him, The Black Dragons, pissed out losing the titles unfairly to the duo earlier, attack them in the aisle to prevent them from getting involved! Meanwhile, in the ring, BDM starts to fight back, but just enough to stay in the match, Phil still has the upper hand. Then, probably due to orders from BDM, his other buddies, JuJu, Petey, Mercenary, Yeti, Don, Xavier, Reverend, & Tony all run down, clogging the aisle up even more! But before they can fully get past anyone, the men they faced and screwed over earlier, Octane, Freedom, Breakfast Club, & Jack Suicide all blaze down to the fray, and we have a massive brawl in the aisle! The fans are loving all this, but back in the ring, a desperate BDM hits a low blow, then sets up Phil for the Billion Dollar Bomb! He nailed it! 1....2.....3. BDM retains! The crowd is PISSED, but BDM did it fair and square.
*Winner, and STILL SWF Champion, and man in charge* The Billion Dollar Man
Post Match: BDM celebrates in the ring, as the chaos in the aisle is being broken up, with SWF officials, even cops pulling people away! The fans start hurling anything not nailed down in the ring, and Dean & Angelica in the announce booth can't hold in their anger, saying what a travesty this entire show, and BDM being in charge is.
The show fades out, but instead of the SWF logo to close, we get an oozing blood logo, simply saying the word "SOON", then see the closing graphic. What was that all about?
END OF SHOW
Posted by exstar507
at 7:02 PM EDT