SWF Main Event 5/8/04

We open the show with a recap of how BDM exposed a loophole in the SWF rulebook to claim power in Extreme's absence. Then we get clips of the later match where BDM faced Quow Ling, saying that if he didn't win fairly, he'd give control back to the SWF board of directors, and also clips of BDM's victory in that match, followed by the chants for Extreme, who was then shown outside giving an apparent last look at the SWF Arena before driving off. The regular intro is skipped, and we go straight to a sad Dean, and Angelica? Vance isn't there I take it. The two announcers address the home viewers, and the live crowd:

Dean(sadly): Hello wrestling fans. Welcome to SWF Main Event. As you can see, Angelica is here, instead of Vance McMillian this week, because of something very important.

Angelica(also sad): As you just saw in the recap, Extreme Superstar was outside of the SWF Arena last week, so we assume he is in fact in the area. With that info in mind, Vance, and a camera man went to Extreme Superstar's home earlier today, which is not too far from here, to convince him to come back. (BIG pop) We have not seen the footage yet, but it will air later in the broadcast. Vance decided that after doing this without permission from the interim SWF boss, The Billion Dollar Man, it was best not to be here tonight, which is the reason I'm filling in.


Dean: With that in mind, here is what is lined up tonight, (looks at the paper, then sighs, annoyed) which I'm supposed to say is "Arranged by the SWF head honcho, The Billion Dollar Man". (loud boos) Anyways, it's a "Championship edition" of SWF Main Event, with all the titles on the line, which I'm told to tell you is to satisfy you, the fans. Here's the card:

In the main event world title match, The Billion Dollar Man faces (looks at the paper, and scoffs) Boppo the Clown? THAT is a serious contender to the SWF title? I think The Billion Dollar Man is abusing his power to have easy matches, instead of facing real competition like.....(Dean holds his headset, apparently someone is speaking to him through it, and Dean is not happy with what he hears) Fans, I was just told if I didn't apologize, and retract my harsh statements about The Billion Dollar Man's assertion of power, I'd be fired, so I hereby retract my statements, and apologize to The Billion Dollar Man, and you fans. (The fans boo, and Angelica looks upset over BDM's abuse of control)


Moving on, in a U.S. title match, The Freedom Fighter will defend against Yeti, Octane will defend his Televison title against the newcomers Lt. Jim Dingle, Alabama Man, and The Principal in a 4 Way Dance, The Breakfast Club's Burnout, Jock, & Nerd will challenge Sex Connection for the 6 man titles, and Hardcore champ Jack Suicide will face JuJu. Also, an important note, the tag belts WILL be on the line, but I am to clarify the following. Last week, while Cash Inc's Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money won the # 1 contendership for the titles, they will not be receiving their title shot tonight, which The Billion Dollar Man informed me, he will explain later in the show. Anyways, the SWF Tag Team titles will be defended in a tag team gauntlet match, involving champs The Black Dragons, Faith & Devotion, Kings of the Street, Crazy Phil & The Janitor, Petey Pizzazz & The Mercenary, Tripp & X, Disco Danny & Jimmy Jam, Charles Gunn & Rory Rogers, and two random draw teams to get as many people involved as possible for a crack at championship gold.


Angelica: Let's waste no time in getting to the first match!


SWF Televison title: 4 Way Dance- Octane vs Alabama Man w/ Miss Alabama vs Lt. Jim Dingle vs The Principal
Octane kills a terrified Jim Dingle, who seems like little a nancy boy, and Octane spares him the Empty Tank by pinning him after a running big boot. Alabama is not so lucky, he gets the Empty Tank, and pinned not long after Dingle, followed right after by another Empty Tank, and pin on the Principal, making this a quick squash. Angelica can't help but point out this match is a way to keep Octane out of the World title hunt, since everyone knows Octane could easily win the title. Angelica is then forced to apologize when BDM tells her to over the headset.
*Winner, and STILL SWF TV Champion* Octane


We head backstage where BDM explains why Jaffe & Joe don't get their title shots tonight. He says they will get it at his first PPV offering, "Cash Inc Presents: Slamboree". He says tonight is set so everyone can get a chance at titles, and the tag match is to determine the best team to face Jaffe & Joe at the PPV, since he thinks they are the best team in the SWF. That is B.S. since he obviously stacked the deck against The Black Dragons, hoping they lose the belts tonight so Cash Inc can face an easier team for the gold at Slamboree! BDM says the full PPV lineup will be announced next week. BDM then says Jaffe & Joe WILL wrestle tonight, in a handicap match! He's giving them an easy match! BDM says all the talent have a matches tonight, and says the five men not scheduled yet are in a drawing, to pick two teams for the tag title gauntlet, and the one left faces Jaffe & Joe in the handicap match! To his "shock", Repo is facing Jaffe & Joe in the handicap match, and Ayatollah Sheik teams with Tex Gentry, while Cpt. Fantastic teams with Mike Suicide are the random teams in the gauntlet. BDM then says, "In a step towards equality" he's adding the female members of the Breakfast Club, The Rich Girl & The Freak to the tag gauntlet, making it 11 teams in the match! BDM also says the handicap match is next.


Handicap match: Cash Inc vs Repo
Cash Inc await Repo, who comes out as Geroge "The Animal" Steele! Too bad he's killed in about 30 seconds with the Payoff from Joe Money for the pin.
*Winners* Cash Inc


We head backstage, where a still dazed from his match with Octane, Lt. Jim Dingle passes some crew members, who say they can't find "Steve", who is apparently works as a page. Dingle, wasting no time, says very seriously, "I'm on the case!", and runs off to find Steve.


SWF 6 Man title match: Sex Connection vs The Breakfast Club
The Breakfast Club hold their own in a wild pier six brawl, during which the ref is knocked down, then, The Principal runs down, carrying a chair! He goes to hit The Burnout, but Burnout shoves Beef Macho in front of him, so Beef gets hit! Burnout quickly covers Beef as The Principal runs off, confused, and The Nerd & The Jock hold Randy & Silkky at bay, 1-2-3! New champs! What an upset!
*Winners, and NEW SWF 6 Man Champions* The Breakfast Club

Post Match: The Breakfast Club celebrate their win, as The Freak & The Rich Girl join the festivities.


Backstage, Dingle is still in search of Steve, and he looks around through the various dressing rooms, saying he has run all over the place, with no trace of him. Dingle then suspects that Steve might have been dragged into the bathroom and "violated", a situation he says he has dealt with more times than he likes to remember. Dingle quietly moves into the Ladies room and hears an agonizing moan, and sees tapping feet from the first stall. Dingle looks at the camera, and signals that he's "Moving in on the sicko", with that he charges the door, shrieking like a little girl, and kicks the door in! We then hear an angry man asking what is going on, then Dingle pulls the door off the man, who is on the toilet! Dingle then converses with the man:


Dingle(embarrassed): Oh, I am SO sorry sir...


Upset Man: Steve, my name is Steve.


Dingle(smiles): So YOUR Steve! I was looking for you, people were wondering where you where, so I took the case.

Steve(mad, but trying to be nice): Case? Well, there is no case, I am having some "stomach problems" so I'd really appreciate if you left.

Dingle(slaps head, and laughs): Duh! What am I thinking! Ok, I'm gonna take off now, let you... get back to business. It was nice meeting you Steve (reaches to shake his hands, but withdrawals his hand, and laughs at his gesture) Whoa! I don't think I wanna do that!

Steve(angry): Can you just go now?


Dingle(serious): Sure.

Dingle tries putting back up the door, but it falls again, so he just runs off, embarrassed!


SWF U.S. Title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Yeti
Freedom dispatches Freedom pretty quickly with the Star Spangled Slam.
*Winner, and STILL SWF U.S. Champion* The Freedom Fighter


SWF Hardcore title match: Jack Suicide vs JuJu
The two have a spirited brawl, before Jack puts a trash can on JuJu's head, pushes him over, then does the Suicide Splash onto JuJu, who is still in the trash can! A hurt Jack pins JuJu, then runs off to the back before anyone can run down to challenge him for the belt.
*Winner, and STILL SWF Hardcore Champion* Jack Suicide


11 team SWF Tag Team title Gauntlet match
The way this works as two teams will randomly start, all allowed to fight at once, with no tag rule applying. You are eliminated by pinfall, submission, or being tossed over the top rope. BOTH members of a team must be eliminated. When one team is eliminated, the next team, determined via drawing enters, and so on until one team is left. The last team, or team member, representing a team get the titles. Now, for team # 1....Kings of the Street! Team 2 is....Rory Rogers & Charles Gunn of the Good Ol' Boys! The two go at it, and Tony soon tosses Rory, but Gunn pins Don after hitting his Gunnslinger finish while he does that! The two men then battle it out, resulting with Tony hitting The Edge, then scoring the win! Charles & Rory have been eliminated (Team Elimination # 1)! Team # 3 comes out...The Black Dragons! They are gonna really have to work to keep their titles! The Dragons use their speed to wear Tony down, and toss him out, but he didn't go without a fight. Kings of the Street are now officially gone (Team Elimination # 2). Team # 4 is next....Cpt. Fantastic & Mike Suicide! Fantastic & Mike put up quite the fight, but, The Dragons superior teamwork allows them to toss Fantastic, then they finish Mike off with the Dragon Attack! Fantastic & Mike are eliminated (Team Elimination # 3). Team # 5 is....The Mercenary & Petey Pizzazz! Mercenary beats up both men quite a bit, but somehow, when Merc goes to toss Shadow out, Shadow hangs on, slides underneath Merc, and dumps him instead! Petey is now left alone with The Black Dragons. Petey tries with all his might, giving a great effort, but the Dragons eventually hit him with the Dragon Attack! Merc & Petey are gone (Team Elimination # 4). The Dragons are a bit tired after the effort they've put forth so far, and await team # 6....X & Tripp! X & Tripp come on strong, since they are the fresh men, but the Dragons suck it up, and simultaneously toss them over the top rope! X & Tripp have been eliminated (Team Elimination # 5)! Team # 7 turns out to be....Jimmy Jam & Disco Danny of Generation Gap! The tired Dragons try their best, but almost get tossed, which serves to revive them, feeling the belts slip away, so they come at their foes as hard as they can, hitting them with their respective finishers! The two cover at the same time, score the win, and Danny & Jimmy are eliminated (Team Elimination # 6). Team # 8 come out....It's the Freak & The Rich Girl! The female team is gonna go toe to toe with the tag champions! On the way to the ring, The Rich Girl grabs a mic, and tells the Dragons from the outside that they didn't ask to be in the match, that BDM forced them to be in it, but they can't possibly fight any of the other SWF talent, the tag team champions no less. So, the ladies enter the ring, and jump out over the top rope eliminating themselves (Team Elimination # 7)! The two females also say what a sick person BDM is for trying to force them in such a match, and how he's abusing his power, which the fans agree with. When they leave, Team # 9 come down....Tex Gentry & Ayatollah Sheik! The Dragons give it all they have once again, and toss Tex, but Sheik serves to be a tough problem, as he shocases his power by fending both men, but is unable to toss them. Sheik manages to get Shadow almost out, but Quow sneaks up on him, playing possum, and tosses Sheik! Sheik & Tex are gone (Team Elimination # 8)! Team # 10 make their way down....Crazy Phil & The Janitor! The fans pop huge for this match up, since both teams are very popular. The tired Dragons are overwhelmed, and the fans root hard for Janitor & Phil, since they want them to win the gold ever since their epic near victory at No Escape. Phil ends up getting dumped by Quow, and the distraction allows Shadow to hit Janitor with the Flying Wizard! 1-2-3, Janitor is pinned, and Phil & The Janitor are eliminated (Team Elimination # 9). The fans are upset, but after the disaproval comes applause of respect, as The Black Dragons have made so far, with only Team # 11 standing in their way.... Faith & Devotion! F&D come down to stomp on the Dragons as soon as Janitor was pinned, but this turns out to be a fatal error, since Reverend is tossed almost instantly, and Xavier is left alone to be polished off with the Dragon Attack! The fans return to popping for the Dragons, and pop huge when Shadow pins Xavier to win the grueling match (Team Elimination # 10)!
*Winners, and STILL SWF Tag Team Champions* The Black Dragons


Main Event: SWF World title match: The Billion Dollar Man vs Boppo the Clown
This is a nothing match, BDM easily beats Boppo, just like everyone thought. The fans are totally pissed at BDM, and chants for Extreme Superstar become deafening.
*Winner, and STILL SWF World Champion* The Billion Dollar Man


We go back to the announcers, who intro the footage promised earlier, where Vance goes to reason with Extreme Superstar.

The footage starts with Vance arriving at the Miami home of Extreme Superstar (which is pretty swank). Miami is where the SWF is filmed, there seems to be some discrepancy among some fans as to where both the SWF Arena & SWF Superdome are located. Anyways, Vance knocks on the door, and after a few seconds, it slowly opens, revealing Extreme Superstar, to which the live crowd pops HUGE for. Extreme doesn't look too good though, he's pretty disheveled, with unkempt hair, wearing some lounging clothes (a plain white shirt, and black shorts), which gives the impression that he hasn't left his home since his seemingly goodbye look at the SWF Arena last week, a theory supported by the way he squints at the sunlight when he answers the door. Also, he looks very sad, and has a hard time even looking Vance in the eyes. The two then proceed to have the following exchange:

Vance(somewhat shocked at Extreme's appearance): Hi.

Extreme(looking at the floor, and using a sad, low voice): Vance.

Vance(breaking an awkward silence): Have you been watching?

Extreme(sighs, and says with anguish): Yeah.

Vance: It's awful. When are coming back?

Extreme(lifts his head and looks at Vance, seemingly close to tears): I'm not. (The live crowd is heard gasping)

Vance(shocked): What?

Extreme(once again looking away, still very emotional): It's over. I don't care anymore, I'm tired. (you can hear the shocked crowd buzzing about what was just said)

Vance(is disbelief): Rob, (short for Extreme's given name, and what his friends call him) PLEASE. We need you, he's gonna ruin everything you've built.

Extreme(sighs again, in a pained voice): Look, I'm getting out of the business, let whoever takes over handle it. I'm done Vance.

Vance(refusing to believe what he's hearing): No. You can't let it end like this!

Extreme(more emotional, but still quiet): I had my moment, I don't need to prove anything else to anyone. Everything has passed me by, and I can't do it anymore.

Vance(emotional, and pleading): Deep down inside of you, that man we all know, he's still there. For the sake of you own creation, the SWF, FIND HIM!

Extreme(near tears): He's DEAD Vance, Extreme Superstar is GONE. All that's left is what you see now, an ordinary man. I've done some amazing things with the SWF and all, but that's over now, It's time for me to stop playing superhero, and resign to a regular existence. It couldn't last forever, and the sooner we all realize it, the better off we'll be.

Vance(still in disbelief): You are not the man I came to see. You are not the man that I was looking for.

Extreme(pained and angered): Who were you looking for Vance? The mythological hero, that would heed your pleas, and rush back and save the day? (The still stunned crowd pops slightly) Well I'm sorry to inform you Vance, but no such person exists. (the crowd boos)

Vance(emotional and somewhat angry): He DID exist. At one time, a time not so long ago, which you seem to have completely forgotten, he lived in YOU. Extreme Superstar was not just a character, all the energy and passion that he had didn't simply come from nowhere, it belonged to you, it was YOURS Rob. And dammit, whether you want to believe me or not, it's STILL there, and always will be. But, if you choose not to let it escape from wherever it's hiding, then there's no amount of convincing in the world that will bring it back. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

Extreme(very emotional): I'm sorry Vance. I'm sorry to everyone that I've let down. I just can't be the man you want me to be, and that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, but know this (Extreme with a few tears in his eyes, briefly looks at the camera) NOTHING will ever erase the memories of all the things I was lucky enough to be a part of. And I will truly miss all the fans, friends, and other supporters I've made along the way, as I do love each and every one of them. As much as it pains me....goodbye

We see tears coming down Extreme's face as he slowly closes the door, leaving Vance and the cameraman on the front steps, with Vance holding back tears. We return to the announcers, where we see Dean also fighting tears, and Angelica takes her headset off, and begins to cry, before rushing off.

END OF SHOW