SWF Backstage, Episode 1 6/5/04

The Billion Dollar Man opens the show at the SWF Production Studios, saying that this series of 5 shows will uncover facts about EVERY SWF talent (including the announcers), things that he had to hire private investigators, & pay various agencies, like hospitals, police stations, etc. to reveal, the stories behind even the most mysterious SWF stars. BDM also says that, for all those "Extreme Superstar fanboys & girls", each profile will include previously unseen footage that was initially going to air as a special before BDM took over, which explained how all the talent came to be hired. Without further ado, BDM presents the 1st addition of SWF Backstage, profiling the members of Cash Inc, the members of Sex Connection, & Captain Fantastic!

Profile of The Billion Dollar Man
He was born Paul Andrews, in Boston Massachusetts, in the heart of the rough and tumble South Boston area to a meager earning, but tight knit family. Paul despised the conditions he grew up in, and even early on, vowed that one day, he'd make it out. The hard knock life got to Paul, and from his teens until his early twenties, he abused alcohol, and caused trouble, before giving it all up and turning his life around. Realizing his mistakes, Paul took on THREE different jobs in order to pay his way through community college. It was college where Paul discovered that he had a interest, and talent for the stock market. Paul was actually so talented, he piqued the interest of Boston University, who then scooped him up, and he finished out his education there. Paul continued to excel, graduating at the top of his class, and after graduation, he was a hot commodity, first working as a stockbroker, then establishing himself as a major player on Wall Street, where he's earned the wealth he loves to brag about today. While most see Paul as disdainful of the lower class, and uncaring, there are two people that do mean a lot to him, his mom and dad. Paul may have become more self serving on his meteoric rise to excessive wealth, but he never forgot his loving parents, who stood by him, no matter what. And that's why Paul made sure to but them a beautiful home in the luxurious Palm Springs area, and even one for his only sibling, Russell, who is two years younger. We then see the never before seen footage of Extreme explaining how BDM was signed. Extreme says BDM came to the Los Angeles talent search, and proved to be both a great wrestler, and speaker, so he got hired.

At the conclusion of the segment, BDM is shown, irate, yelling about how the people who cut these pieces together delved too much into his personal life, upset that they documented his troubles with alcohol, then he finds the man responsible & fires him!

Profile of Jahalaman Jaffe
Jaffe was born to Arab royalty in Tabuk Saudi Arabia, and was doted over since birth. Jaffe always had an interest in America, being enamored with our country's capitalistic ways, but especially our entertainment. Jaffe is said to have loved our movies and television so much, he refused (even to this day) to watch anything else! The two particular things that he loved most are Pro Wrestling & Rap music, which is the reason he personally, and Cash Inc rap music as their theme songs. When Jaffe turned 18, he set off for the states, making Beverly Hills his new home, with tons of cash, to pursue his dream of wrestling. His wealth paid for the best training available, which is evident when watching him. Jaffe honed his skills, then took to Japan and Mexico to wrestle, learning all the different styles of the sport. Extreme says Jaffe showed up at the L.A. tryouts, the same one as BDM. He then notes that he very well may have witnessed the birth of Cash Inc, because he spotted Jaffe, BDM, & Joe Money conversing, and getting along famously. Anyways, Extreme says Jaffe showed his world class talents, and comments that Jaffe takes to the mic with ease as well.

Profile of Joe Money
Joe Money was born Joe Monticello in Oakland California, and started making mischief at a young age. Joe was handful to deal with at school, and home, always causing some kind of trouble. His parents say that whenever something went wrong , Joe was most assuredly involved. Joe grew up to be a rebellious youth, preferring to hang out on the streets, which was no place for a kid barely into his teens. Joe started running small street side gambling games, like three card monte, gaining street cred, using the name Joe Money. Joe pulled in good...well, money with his games, and eventually expanded his operation once he was older, including bootlegging movies and other merchandise. After a while, Joe had built quite a little empire, and he decided that he could be putting his money, and talents to better use, so he went straight, getting into real estate. That move proved to be very profitable, as Joe now owns the most successful real estate agency on the west coast. Extreme talks about Joe showing up to the L.A. tryouts, which he says, with all three members of Cash Inc, and a few others coming out of it, was the most productive tryout. He then says that Joe showcased a great deal of charisma, and brawling ability.

Profile of Randy Mann
Randy Mann was born Randy Andopilus in Billings Montana, where he would have been resigned to work in the farming industry if he didn't escape, so he did. At 18, Randy took his dreams of being a famous film or television star to Hollywood, where he got a shot at the big time, filming several pilots for tv, none of which have ever seen the light of day, because they are said to be absolutely awful. We are told that the exact number of pilots he filmed was three, the first being about a man who was abducted by aliens, who then decided to keep him, and allow him to live amongst them, causing all sorts of zany fun, titled "My Friends The Aliens". Randy played the lead, Tom Wiggins, the abductee. The next was about two rouge nuns who seek justice for the lord titled "Nuns With Guns". Randy played the nun's superior, Father Pain, the leader of the Heavenly Justice Squad, who commission the nuns to eradicate the sinners. The show actually filmed a full 13 episode run that never made it to air. Lastly, Randy did a comedy set in medieval times about a gay prince and his royal family that was deemed too offensive, and abandoned after filming the pilot, that was titled "Queen of the Castle", with Randy starring as the prince. Randy then made a foray into TV movies, making two that also never aired. First, there was the groundbreaking drama, that was sure to raise some eyebrows, if not only for being completely absurd, "My Daddy Is My New Mommy", in which Randy Mann, so distraught over the loss of his wife, begins to dress like her, and takes on her role as mother for his 7 year old daughter, then meets a new woman, who dresses as a man, and the whole family face the prejudice of a small southern town. The other was about an abusive woman who beats her husband, titled "A Woman's Scorn", with Randy playing the battered husband. Randy, realizing his failure as a TV star, made one last attempt at mainstream acting, with the sleek and sexy low budget film, "Night Mistress" about a blonde vixen who rides around 1980's Los Angeles, ridding it of corruption and gangs. Randy played the villain, Mendoza, who both despises and loves the sultry Night Mistress. The film seethed with racy passion, and while never making it to the masses, it was circulated underground, and became a cult, cult classic. With the film's minuscule, but existent following, small-time porn maker, and future SWF talent, Beef Macho signed him on to do some films, satiating Randy's newfound following, and giving Randy a new career. Randy changed his last name to Mann, and the rest was history. Randy and Beef became best friends, and business partners, producing more porn films a year than any other company currently in existence, under the studio banner of "Sex Connection", hence their SWF team name. Randy seemed content with that, but as a long time wrestling fan, and hearing about the startup SWF, he decided he wanted a part of it. Randy had never considered it a career, but being it great shape, he signed on for a wrestling training camp, and established himself as quite a hot prospect. When the SWF tryouts finally hit town (Los Angeles), he was ready to go. Extreme says that Randy is an incredible talent, who he sees as a future main eventer, once he gets the experience under his belt. He also says while Randy hadn't reached his full potential when he first saw him, it was apparent that he was going to improve by leaps and bounds, both on the mic, and in the ring , which he then states, that in the progressive training (the SWF stars all trained vigorously for a few months before the debut), and in the matches since then, Randy has already proven him right.

Profile of Beef Macho
Beef Macho was born Luis Ortega in Miami Florida, and was said to be a very lively child. Luis loved Spanish and dance music, and would dance around the house listening to it. Luis actually entered local dance contests, winning several from his pre-adolescent and teen years. Luis eventually decided that the flashy life with beautiful women and money was what he wanted, and he achieved it, pursuing photography as a hobby, with the ambition to one day be a photographer for adult magazines, which ultimately came to pass. After making some connections, he found his niche at the lower echelon of adult cinema, where he started producing, and starring in his own films, under the new name Beef Macho. After seeing Randy Mann's (still Andopilus at this point) tour de force performance as Mendoza in the electrifying Night Mistress, he signed him for some films, and they became fast friends. The first film Randy and Beef did together was a full-on porn version of Night Mistress (a film that could be classified as soft-core porn) called "The Right Mistress" and even starred the original Night Mistress herself, Tammi Kincaid! When Randy started pursuing wrestling, Beef decided he wanted in too, having also followed the sport since he was a child, so Randy actually helped train him. Extreme says Randy came to him, and suggested Beef, who possessed the charisma and talent as a possible star. Extreme had Beef come in and he met with him, saw a tape of Beef training and cutting promos, he liked what he saw, and Beef ended up doing a run-in on the 10/18/03 addition of SWF Main Event to make his debut.

Profile of Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic was born Brian Miller in Olympia Washington. He was teased as a child for being "A skinny nerd", and didn't have many friends, so he found solace in comic books and wrestling. The constant teasing eventually convinced him to start working out, hoping to one day be like his comic book, and wrestling heroes. His work in the gym paid off, and now, he's in incredible shape. Brian, being a good student, used his grades to get him into the University of Washington, where he studied business, with aspirations to open his own comic book shop. Brian did end up getting his own shop, settling in Seattle, where business was good. Brian then used the profits from the store to enroll in a wrestling school, where he trained, then found out about the SWF. Brian, using comics as his inspiration, took on the Captain Fantastic persona, and made a big impression at the Seattle SWF tryouts. Extreme comments that he liked the character, seeing it as a positive gimmick for kids to get into, but not only that, Fantastic also proved to be a talented all-round wrestler.

We go back to BDM, who wraps things up, and we get the lineup for SWF Backstage # 2, profiling Petey Pizzazz, The Mercenary, JuJu, & Boppo The Clown

Just before we see the closing logo, we hear weird whispering, and the screen goes black, then a whispery female voice says "Don't be afraid, it will all end", with the word "SOON" popping up right after, in big, blood red letters, then we get the logo. We've been seeing these types of things since Slamboree, what does it mean?

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 5/29/04

We open with BDM in the ring, and he announces that he's decided that he will not be booking a June PPV! the reason is that on the weekend before the 4th of July, and the 4th itself, he goes to the Hamptons, so he doesn't want to work! This also means the July 3 show is canceled. Also, saying now he's done with doing the things he wants, he's gonna just cancel shows when he feels like it! He then proceeds to cancel all the shows set for June, to just to justify not having the June PPV! He does say that special revealing life story shows will air in place of each of the canceled shows, that will shed light on EVERY SWF superstar, and are things he doesn't have to book. Then, he goes on to say that he needs to catch a plane to his summer home for a Memorial Day party, so tonight's show is canceled as well!

We fade out, but get a bizarre "SOON" video, like we saw at Slamboree. This is all very odd, what does it mean?

END OF SHOW

Cash Inc presents: Slamboree

We open with all three members of Cash Inc welcoming us to the show. The Billion Dollar Man says tonight ushers in a new era, one that will be more prosperous than anything the SWF had been before, which is a bold statement. BDM then kicks it to the live crowd, and we see the specially made set for the PPV. All the banners, and ring aprons are metallic green, with equally shiny silver writing on it all, saying "Slamboree". The entrance appears to be a giant black stretch limo, with the door being the opening for the wrestlers to come out of, which is pretty slick. The ring looks like the same familiar SWF ring, but with the Slamboree ring aprons, and green ropes. After a look around, we go to the announce booth, where Dean Bokerlund & Angelica Summers are shown to be the announce team (BDM had previously been filling in for Vance, who he fired, but now Angelica is since he's got a match tonight):


Angelica(not looking too thrilled, and obviously being fed her lines): Welcome to Cash Inc presents: Slamboree. Tonight promises to be an exiting night, one that marks the beginning of a new era in sports entertainment.


Dean(expressing similar feelings as Angelica): Just listen to the lineup for tonight:


In the main event for the SWF World title, The Billion Dollar Man defends against Crazy Phil

For the SWF U.S. title, The Freedom Fighter defends vs Petey Pizzazz

SWF TV champion, Octane will face The Mercenary for the title

SWF Tag Team champions, the Black Dragons defend against Cash Inc's Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money

In a Handicap match for the SWF Hardcore title, Jack Suicide will face Faith & Devotion, BDM says if F&D win, they can retire the belt if they want!

And, for the SWF 6 Man titles, The Breakfast Club's Jock, Burnout, & Nerd will defend against Yeti, The Don, & Tony Ramon.


Angelica: Without further ado, we take you to the opening contest.


SWF 6 Man title match: The Breakfast Club vs Yeti & Kings of the Street (Don & Tony)
The match goes great for the Breakfast Club, as The Jock keeps Don in for some time, and has him near defeat it seems. But then, Tony goes under the ring, grabs a pipe of some kind used to assemble the ring, and tosses it to Don! Don swings, but The Jock ducks, boots him in the gut, then grabs the pipe, and floors Don with it! The Jock goes right for the pin, while The Burnout & The Nerd hold off Tony & Yeti! 1-2-3! Breakfast Club retain!
WAIT! BDM's music hits, and he comes out with a mic, pointing out the use of the weapon, so he should reverse the decision and give Yeti/KOTS the win via DQ, but that would be unfair to them (and it wouldn't give his buddies the titles), he opts to restart the match. He then adds that he "forgot" to say this was elimination rules, and The Jock is eliminated by DQ for using the pipe! BDM just made up those rules! Now his friends have a 2 on 3 advantage! The match ends up starting again, and Yeti easily destroys The Burnout, then tags to Tony, who finishes The Nerd off just as easy.
*Winners, and NEW SWF 6 Man Champions* Yeti, The Don, & Tony Ramon


We go to a video, where we hear the now familiar Buffalo Billy music, and see Billy dancing in a robe ala the character he's based on did in Silence of the Lambs. Oh lord, he is starting to take his robe off, he's gonna dance around with his wiener tucked in like the movie! Thank goodness though, the camera cut off right before we see the disturbing dance. No info as to a debut or anything was provided in this video.


We then go backstage, and BDM is with Lt. James Dingle. BDM says he is in need of his services, since some expensive jewelry was stolen from his locker room. BDM says The Janitor was seen going in to the Cash Inc locker room earlier, and then rushing out quickly. A nearby crew member who overhears this chimes in, saying that Janitor has been with Crazy Phil all day, psyching him up for his big title match later on, and is across the street at the hotel. BDM says that is only a rumor, and several eye witnesses got a clear look at Janitor going to steal the merchandise. BDM says Janitor probably stashed it in his bag, and says he wants to go look there, but asks Dingle to hold off on that, as he has "business to tend to", and he walks off, quietly firing the crew member who spoke up as he does. Something is very fishy here, and I sense a setup.

SWF Television title match: Octane vs The Mercenary
Before the bell rings, BDM's music hits once again, and he comes out to say that before Octane can fight Mercenary, he must fight Rory Rogers?! BDM is scheming to make sure his friends win, and he has total power over the SWF, so nobody can stop him! Rory ends up running down, and Mercenary calmly steps to the outside to allow Rory to face Octane. Rory puts up a good fight, but he is quickly pinned after the Empty Tank, but BDM, who is still at the top of the aisle, sends out another guy, Charles Gunn! Octane has a few minute fight with Charles, then pins him, but BDM has ANOTHER opponent for him, Tex Gentry! This is SO unfair! Tex attacks from behind, as Mercenary watches on amused from th outside, as does BDM in the aisle. A pissed off Octane ends up killing Tex dead via the Empty Tank after a short battle, but after the 3 count, Captain Fantastic is introed by BDM as his next opponent! This is ridiculous, BDM has already made Octane face all three members of the Good Ol' Boys, now Captain Fantastic?! Fantastic doesn't seem too happy about getting a title shot this way, since he's an honest good guy, but BDM forces him by threatening to fire him if he doesn't comply. Fantastic then goes to the ring, and gives Octane an especially hard time, but after about 8 minutes or so of intense action, Octane manages to pin him. BDM just laughs, and says he must face ONE LAST GUY before Mercenary! A somewhat tired Octane looks to see who it will be, and Ayatollah Sheik charges from the crowd! Sheik pounds away vigorously on Octane, and keeps up the assault for several minutes, but Octane mounts a comeback with full support from the crowd. Sheik proves to be a tough challenge, and refuses to stay down, so this turns out to be a serious battle. After about another 10 minutes, a tired Octane finally scores with the Empty Tank to pin Sheik! Just as soon as the pin is counted, Mercenary slides in from behind, wielding a chair he grabbed at ringside! BDM provides a distraction, telling the ref over his mic to stop someone from jumping in the ring, but obviously there was nobody there, and this allows Mercenary to crown a tired Octane hard on the skull with the chair! Mercenary immediately covers Octane, and the ref turns to administer a fast count, as per BDM's orders! Mercenary wins the title, and Octane has been screwed!
*Winner, and NEW SWF Television Champion* The Mercenary


Post Match: Mercenary quickly grabs his belt, and runs off to the back, along with BDM as his music plays on, and the crowd chants "Bullshit!". Then, an angry finally Octane comes to, and storms furiously out of the ring.


We cut backstage, where BDM is on his way back to his locker room, or so it seems. He stops off to see SWF Hardcore champ, Jack Suicide. He tells Jack that his title match, which was to happen later on the card has been moved, to RIGHT NOW, so Jack grabs his belt, and books it to the ring, but he is attacked by Faith & Devotion as he runs down the hall! A referee just so happens to be with the duo, and the match is on!


SWF Hardcore title Handicap match: Jack Suicide vs Faith & Devotion
Due to the sneak attack, The Reverend is able to clock Jack with a picture on the wall, breaking it over his head, and he pins him! He won the title! The Hardcore title is to be no more!
*Winner, and NEW (and last?) SWF Hardcore Champion* The Reverend


Post Match: The Reverend grabs the title, and as he and Xavier celebrate, BDM walks up, saying that he is standing by his word, the title is now banished! Reverend surrenders the belt to BDM, who says the title will be locked away as a "historical piece" of SWF history!

BDM then walks off, and finds Dingle, saying he'd like to check and see if his stolen merch is in Janitor's bag. Dingle comments that he had been investigating, and nobody had even seen Janitor all day, and the hotel staff said him and Phil have been there relaxing all day, but Dingle just called to inform them to return to the arena. BDM says Janitor is only at the hotel as an alibi, that he stole the merch, and took off, since he was there earlier, to drop off his bags, and check in, as all SWF talents are required to do. They arrive at the dressing room, and sure enough, when they look in Janitor's bag, the missing jewelry is there. Out of "nowhere" BDM's Cash Inc cohorts just so happen to pop up, and act all shocked when BDM tells them of the "robbery". As this is going on, The Janitor arrives on the scene, only to be arrested for larceny! BDM tells Dingle he doesn't want to press serious charges, as he pities Janitor, and only wants him to spend the night in jail! It is apparently obvious that Jaffe & Joe planted the merch, so that BDM can do whatever he wants vs Phil in the main event without having to worry about Janitor coming down to help!


SWF Tag Team title match: The Black Dragons vs Cash Inc
The Dragons come on strong early on, but soon, Cash Inc assumes control. The two teams fight with all they have for about 15 minutes, but with Shadow and Joe in the ring, The Dragons mount the big comeback, and have things well in hand, seemingly on their way to victory. Meanwhile, Jaffe loads up his necklaces and rings onto his right hand, preparing to jump in and lay out the champs in the hopes to stay in the match. When Shadow sets up for his Flying Wizard finisher, Jaffe sees his chance, and charges in the ring, leaping in front of Shadow as he is in midair, clocking him with the loaded fist! The referee saw it all, as the move was blatant, with no attempt to hide the action. Having seen this, Quow Ling runs in as well, but he is also hit with the fist. Obviously, the ref calls for the bell, Dqing Cash Inc! But as is becoming the trend tonight, BDM comes out, saying this is a no dq match! BDM once again is making up the rules as he goes along to help his friends! What abuse of power! With no choice but to listen to the boss, the ref rings the bell for the restart, and Jaffe pulls Joe on the legal man, Shadow, easily scoring the pin since he, and his partner were laid out from the shots with the loaded hand! We have new champs, and the fans aren't happy, as BDM has once again manipulated everything tonight in his favor.
*Winners, and NEW SWF Tag Team Champions* Cash Inc


SWF United States title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz
The two men fight it out evenly, but when Freedom has things going his way, Petey punches out the ref! BDM then wanders out (surprise, surprise), saying that hitting the ref is ok, since this is also a no dq match, but now a new ref is needed, and he has just the guy for the job, JUJU! That's Petey's ally! This isn't fair! JuJu comes to the ring, and when Freedom gives him a warning about being fair, JuJu kicks him, then hits the JuJu Driver on him! BDM, still on the mic, says JuJu did the right thing, showing who was boss in the ring. Petey recovers, and drops a half hearted elbow to rub it in, since Freedom is already out cold, then covers him, for the even more insulting fast count!
*Winner, and NEW SWF U.S. Champion* Petey Pizzazz


Post Match: Petey & JuJu celebrate the victory, and kick Freedom out of the ring as BDM comes down to the ring, ready to address the crowd:

BDM: Well, it's main event time, and I'm already here, so let's do this. (Petey and JuJu leave, and Freedom is helped to the back) Everyone is getting cleared out, and the ref is bringing the title down with him (the ref comes out, carrying the title) so Phil, come on down!

Crazy Phil comes down to a big pop, but BDM holds him off, apparently wanting to say something to him before the match starts:

BDM: Phil, some people have said that I picked you to face me since, well, your pathetic. (big boos) Let's face it, you ALWAYS lose, and probably will do so for the rest of your career, and that is EXACTLY why I picked you to face me tonight. (more loud boos) I want to give you that one big chance at greatness Phil, that moment you see in the movies, where the underdog pulls off the unbelievable upset, because that is big business. Here we are, me, the not so popular, big money world champion, and you, the downtrodden, lovable challenger, who's chasing his dream, and everyone here tonight would love nothing more than to see you put me in my place by winning the title. (big pop) It's a win/win situation, if you win, sure, I'd be upset, embarrassed even, but it'd be huge, and if I win, I show everyone who is really in charge, and that the SWF is firmly under MY control! (loud boos) It is in that spirit I offer this, since I KNOW I can beat you, I have no problem putting up not only the SWF title, but full control over the SWF! (mega pop) I wouldn't get to excited people, this is merely to add a bit more prestige to the match, my victory is assured, so don't get your hopes up to high, your gonna be in for some serious disappointment. (HUGE boos, then Phil steals the mic away)

Phil(angry): We'll see!

Phil floors BDM with a punch, eliciting quite the ovation, the ref calls for the bell, and it's on!


SWF World title match: The Billion Dollar Man vs Crazy Phil
Phil keeps on punching, and tears the entrance garb off of BDM, as the fans go crazy. BDM tries to get away by taking off to the outside, but Phil gives chase, and continues his assault. BDM finally fires back some shots of his own, and tosses Phil into the ring steps to take control! BDM tosses Phil back in the ring, where he keeps the pressure on, wailing away with offense, hoping to put Phil away soon. BDM tries to pin Phil several times, but he refuses to stay down. BDM steps up his game, and goes for the Billion Dollar Bomb, but Phil fights away, then starts to make a comeback! The crowd gets really into this, and Phil pours it on, hitting the Crazy Crusher! He goes for the pin, 1....2...........NO! BDM managed to get his foot on the rope at the LAST possible second! The entire arena was on the edge of their seats, and the announcers also thought that was it too. Phil wisely just keeps on BDM, getting ready to try something else to put him away, but then, Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money run down to help BDM! But wait! Before they can reach him, The Black Dragons, pissed out losing the titles unfairly to the duo earlier, attack them in the aisle to prevent them from getting involved! Meanwhile, in the ring, BDM starts to fight back, but just enough to stay in the match, Phil still has the upper hand. Then, probably due to orders from BDM, his other buddies, JuJu, Petey, Mercenary, Yeti, Don, Xavier, Reverend, & Tony all run down, clogging the aisle up even more! But before they can fully get past anyone, the men they faced and screwed over earlier, Octane, Freedom, Breakfast Club, & Jack Suicide all blaze down to the fray, and we have a massive brawl in the aisle! The fans are loving all this, but back in the ring, a desperate BDM hits a low blow, then sets up Phil for the Billion Dollar Bomb! He nailed it! 1....2.....3. BDM retains! The crowd is PISSED, but BDM did it fair and square.
*Winner, and STILL SWF Champion, and man in charge* The Billion Dollar Man


Post Match: BDM celebrates in the ring, as the chaos in the aisle is being broken up, with SWF officials, even cops pulling people away! The fans start hurling anything not nailed down in the ring, and Dean & Angelica in the announce booth can't hold in their anger, saying what a travesty this entire show, and BDM being in charge is.


The show fades out, but instead of the SWF logo to close, we get an oozing blood logo, simply saying the word "SOON", then see the closing graphic. What was that all about?


END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 5/22/04

We open to see that The Billion Dollar Man is still hosting along with Dean Bokerlund, as Vance was fired last week. BDM tells Dean to take a seat, and proceeds to intro the show himself:

BDM: Welcome to another addition of MY show, SWF Main Event (loud booing from the crowd)! Tonight, we have 4 big matches, and a VERY special addition of Petey's Parlor! On that particular addition of the Parlor, all those who aided my taking out of Extreme a few weeks ago will finally speak, so that those men can explain why they did it, hopefully stopping all the calls, letters, e-mails, and taunting on the streets, begging for the reason why. Now, about tonight's matches. The newest SWF talent, Walter will debut versus Charles Gunn, SWF TV champ, Octane will face Captain Fantastic in a non-title match, Silkky Smooth & Randy Mann will face The Mercenary & Joe Money in a tag match, and for the main event, my (sarcastically) toughest opponent ever to challenge for my title at Cash Inc Presents: Slamboree, Crazy Phil, will have the chance to prove himself vs my good friend Jahalaman Jaffe! With only 6 days remaining before the huge event, tonight's show is promising to be HUGE, so let's get right into it!


Walter vs Charles Gunn
Walter, who we saw last week for the first time, looking to be a based on Walter from the film The Big Lebowski, is still clad in Walter gear, and comes out to Jimi Hendrix's All Along the Watchtower, fitting in with Walter's Vietnam obsession. Walter is a big man, about 250 pounds, and standing about 6'1, looking EXACTLY like the John Goodman character he's based on, complete with the yellow tinted shades. Walter is a furiously angry man, and he shocks Charles with an onslaught of power moves, then locks on his version of the Tazzmission, where he drags his man to the ground, and holds them in a body scissors while they are trapped in the hold. This is said by Dean to be his finisher, known as the Zero Mark. Charles quickly taps to the painful hold.
*Winner* Walter

Backstage, Lt. Jim Dingle, looking embarrassed, asks a crew member if he knows which dressing room was used for the Kenny G concert the week before at the arena. The crew member asks why, and Dingle says that he lost his shorts at the show, and thinks they might be there. The crew member gives Dingle a weird look, and Dingle replies by saying "Yeah...it's weird I know, but, I ended up hanging out backstage with Kenny G and his crew, and it got WILD, we were like...all over the arena". The crew member just shakes his head, tells Dingle the dressing room is on the other side of the arena, and walks away.


We now go to the set of Petey's Parlor, where Petey, Xavier Hawthorne III, The Reverend, Joe Money, Jahalaman Jaffe, The Don, Tony Ramon, The Mercenary, & Yeti are all standing, ready to discuss why they were a part of attacking Extreme, causing him to leave the SWF, and allowing The Billion Dollar Man to come to power. Petey first says that BDM obviously isn't there, since we all know why he did it, which he explained a few weeks back. Petey says that all the men were promised cash rewards, and big title matches, such as the ones they will have at Slamboree, but all of them were sought out by BDM since he knew of personal issues they had with Extreme, except Mercenary, who took the job since that is what he does, as told by Mercenary himself. Petey speaks for the silent Yeti, saying that BDM asked him since Yeti was seemingly made a fool of by Extreme when he beat him, masquerading as Julio Maniaco, and Yeti agreed to help based on that. Don & Tony also say that there run-ins with Julio/Extreme is why they helped in the attack. Petey then asks Joe & Jaffe if they participated solely because of their friendship with BDM, which they say is part of it, along with the guarantee to win back the SWF Tag Team titles, and be a part of BDM's rule over the SWF, as Cash Inc. Xavier & Reverend are next to give their reasons, since they were embarrassed after Extreme thwarted their chance to ban hardcore wrestling, and the SWF Hardcore title from the company. Lastly, Petey says he was a part of it after being forced to face Octane all those times, and with that, we go back to the ring for the next match.


We go backstage again, where Dingle arrives at the dressing room that was used for Kenny G last week. Dingle asks a nearby attendant if they cleaned it out yet, and the man says no, but he warns that the room is trashed. Dingle shyly looks away, knowing he was partly responsible for the damage done. Dingle pushes open the door, which is hard to open due to lots of cups, bottles, and cans blocking it. When he finally gets in, we see a big room, equipt with vanity mirrors and such, but the place is covered with streamers, confetti, and tons of other debris. Dingle just happens to find his shorts on the doorknob of another room contained within that one, marked private. Dingle decides to enter the room, to see what is in there. He finds more clutter, and on a couch in the room, are some margarita bottles, and a pair of boxer shorts wrapped around a saxophone, a non-traditional one, like the one Kenny G plays. Dingle grabs the boxers, saying "Wow, I was wondering where these were!". Dingle then notices the camera, and stammers to explain how his boxers got tangled with Kenny G's sax, but he runs off quickly after.


Octane vs Captain Fantastic
Speaking Octane, he is wrestling here. On commentary, BDM says this is not for Octane's TV title since he is already set to face Mercenary at Slamboree. Octane ends up winning this with the Empty Tank after a decent effort from Fantastic.
*Winner* Octane


We get another creepy, and cryptic Buffalo Billy promo, with no debut set.


Silkky Smooth & Randy Mann vs Joe Money & The Mercenary
Mercenary and Joe win after a nice long battle, ending when Merc pinned Silkky clean after the Mercy Kill.
*Winners* Joe Money & The Mercenary


Main Event: Crazy Phil vs Jahalaman Jaffe
Phil fights rather well, and scores the Crazy Crusher on Jaffe, but BDM leaves the announce booth to run down and distract Phil before he can pick up the win. The timely distraction allows Jaffe to hit the Arabian Goodnight and get the pinfall.
*Winner* Jahalaman Jaffe


Before we go, Dean begrudgedly pimps next Friday's Cash Inc presents: Slamboree.


END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 5/15/04

A recap of Extreme and Vance's emotional discussion is shown before we play the credits and go live.

Vance(upset): You all just saw what took place. That was a hard thing for me to have to experience again. I said some harsh things, things that might have given the impression that Extreme Superstar, or Roberto Berrios if you will, is a coward for not coming back, and that he doesn't care about the fans. Well, that's just wrong. I realize now, especially after playing his closing comments in my head, he does, and will ALWAYS care about the fans, despite the decision to not return, I personally, along with the SWF crew, and fans, will never forget his contributions, and commitment to the SWF. Thank you Extreme....Rob, for all you've given us.

Dean(emotional): Now, we'd like to play a tribute video, we here at the SWF have put together to honor the one, the only, Extreme Superstar.

When I'm Gone, by 3 Doors Down plays, as we begin the tribute, starting with some early childhood photos of Extreme, then we see clips of the SWF Arena being constructed, and clips of the opening broadcast, with Extreme welcoming viewers. Next, we see the Death Machine feud played out, and various exclusive clips of Extreme backstage, hanging out with the crew, and helping set up for the show. Then we see Extreme destroying Ron McBride, clips of fans with Extreme Superstar signs, and several clips of Extreme entering the arena. We then cover him taking on BDM, and winning the title, with more backstage stuff spliced in. After that, we cover it all, in fast motion, before ending it with Extreme's celebration at Extrememania, and his emotional gaze out to the jam packed SWF Superdome, where fans are going crazy for him, which is then freeze framed. A graphic pops up, that reads"Thanks for the memories", and we fade out, going back to the arena. The announcers are shown standing and applauding, while the fans do so as well, before a massive "Superstar" chant breaks out. The moment is ruined, as BDM's music hits soon after, and he heads to the announce booth, angrily, with a mic.

BDM(angry, to Vance): I KNOW it was you who set this all up! I didn't authorize that video! Not only that, but the stunt you pulled last week, leaving to try and bring Extreme back....You are LUCKY to still have a job!

Vance(angry): For once in your life, show some damn compassion! The least you could have done was let the fans have a moment to show their respect!

BDM(also angry): Your talking to ME like that?! I'd watch it pal, you can be replaced, rather easily too!

Vance(really angry): You disgust me! It's all your fault that Extreme is gone in the first place! (the crowd cheers)

BDM(fakes being scared): Oh no! Vance is mad! What are you gonna do? Summon the powers of your buddy Extreme? (impersonating Vance) "Oh I know you have in you somewhere, Extreme, please, save...."

Vance loses it, and charges BDM, while the crowd goes nuts, and chant Vance's name, but BDM soon fights him off, and stomps him down, before summoning security to take him away.

BDM(angry, recovering from the assault): Oh, you did it now Vance, you are FIRED! Security, GET HIM THE HELL OUT! (turns to Dean) I suggest you sit your ass down before I fire you too! (Dean obliges) Well, now I need a new announcer, hey toots, Anga-whatever, get out here! (Angelica Summers reluctantly comes out) Hey, since you took over for Vance last week, why don't you take over tonight too, sweet thing?

(Angelica looks offended)

BDM: Oh, so I offended you? Fine, just go back to doing backstage interviews, I'LL cover the show tonight!

(Angelica storms off)


BDM: Now, I will announce tonight's lineup of matches. In that ring tonight, all the singles champions will defend their gold, except me, as the World champion should save his title defenses for special occasions, like the upcoming Cash Inc Presents: Slamboree, and that ppv lineup will be announced, as promised, at the end of tonight's show. But back to tonight. SWF U.S. champ The Freedom Fighter will square off with Randy Mann, SWF Television champ Octane will face Silkky Smooth, and the SWF Hardcore champ Jack Suicide will face Tony Ramon. Also, Beef Macho faces The Principal! And since Vance is no longer able to do it, I will say it (doing a Vance impression) let's KICK IT OFF! (major boos for the mocking)


The Principal vs Beef Macho
Beef is presumably looking for revenge here, as Principal inadvertently cost Sex Connection the 6 Man titles to Breakfast Club last week. Beef kills Principal in seconds with the Beefy Bomb.
*Winner* Beef Macho


We see a promo where a man looking like Walter from The Big Lebowski bowling. He is very angry, and he talks about coming to the SWF to bring a "World of pain" to anyone he sees fit. The character must be a take on Walter, and Walter is said to be his name. He get a graphic saying he's coming next week.


SWF Television title match: Octane vs Silkky Smooth
Octane crushes Silkky with the Empty Tank after about 10 minutes of back and forth action.
*Winner, and STILL SWF TV Champion* Octane


Backstage, a staff member inquires to the whereabouts of a crew member's car, a black Lincoln Continental. Lt. Jim Dingle just so happens to hear this, and runs off to find the car, missing another crew member saying they moved it because of trucks coming in to deliver equipment for a concert the next night.


SWF Hardcore title match: Jack Suicide vs Tony Ramon
Tony is THIS close to taking the title, but Jack gets the quick rollup for the win, and he runs off with his title.
*Winner, and STILL SWF Hardcore Champion* Jack Suicide


We get another cryptic Buffalo Billy promo, with no debut date announced.

We go to see Dingle running to the parking area, and we see a man getting in to a black Lincoln Continental. The man seems to be a valet, but the overzealous Dingle rushes him, drawing his gun, but the man keeps on, and starts to drive away. Dingle jumps in front of the car, and starts firing his gun at it! The car swerves, then crashes into the side wall! The driver of the car, luckily unhurt, emerges, and starts yelling at Dingle, informing him that he is only a valet, moving the cars because of incoming concert equipment. Dingle says he's sorry, and the gun only had blanks in it, since he is no longer able to carry live ammo, since similar things like this have happened. Dingle then asks about what concert is coming, and the guy says Kenny G, which makes Dingle shriek like a little girl! Dingle then basically asks the guy out on a date to the show, since he can get free tix to any show at the arena! The man seems taken aback, and responds with a "No thanks".


Main Event- SWF U.S. title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Randy Mann
This is a good match, but Freedom squeaks out a sudden victory after a Star Spangled Slam.
*Winner, and STILL SWF U.S. Champion* The Freedom Fighter


Now, we go to BDM, who announces the lineup for his first PPV in charge, SWF Slamboree, which is awfully obvious that he gave the title matches to his friends (specifically, all the guys who helped in the vicious attack on Extreme) . Here is the lineup:

For the SWF World title: BDM vs Crazy Phil?!- It's obvious BDM gave himself an easy match for the show!

For the SWF U.S. title: The Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz

For the SWF TV title: Octane vs Mercenary

For the SWF Tag Team titles: Black Dragons vs Cash Inc- Cash Inc won this title shot a few weeks back.

For the SWF Hardcore title: Handicap Match- Jack Suicide vs Faith & Devotion- BDM says if F&D win, they can retire the belt if they want!

For the SWF 6 Man titles: Breakfast Club vs Yeti/Don/Tony- This is mainly to give as many of the people who helped BDM title shots.

So, Slamboree looks to be interesting to say the least, and will happen on the 28th. See you here for SWF Main Event next week.

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 5/8/04

We open the show with a recap of how BDM exposed a loophole in the SWF rulebook to claim power in Extreme's absence. Then we get clips of the later match where BDM faced Quow Ling, saying that if he didn't win fairly, he'd give control back to the SWF board of directors, and also clips of BDM's victory in that match, followed by the chants for Extreme, who was then shown outside giving an apparent last look at the SWF Arena before driving off. The regular intro is skipped, and we go straight to a sad Dean, and Angelica? Vance isn't there I take it. The two announcers address the home viewers, and the live crowd:

Dean(sadly): Hello wrestling fans. Welcome to SWF Main Event. As you can see, Angelica is here, instead of Vance McMillian this week, because of something very important.

Angelica(also sad): As you just saw in the recap, Extreme Superstar was outside of the SWF Arena last week, so we assume he is in fact in the area. With that info in mind, Vance, and a camera man went to Extreme Superstar's home earlier today, which is not too far from here, to convince him to come back. (BIG pop) We have not seen the footage yet, but it will air later in the broadcast. Vance decided that after doing this without permission from the interim SWF boss, The Billion Dollar Man, it was best not to be here tonight, which is the reason I'm filling in.


Dean: With that in mind, here is what is lined up tonight, (looks at the paper, then sighs, annoyed) which I'm supposed to say is "Arranged by the SWF head honcho, The Billion Dollar Man". (loud boos) Anyways, it's a "Championship edition" of SWF Main Event, with all the titles on the line, which I'm told to tell you is to satisfy you, the fans. Here's the card:

In the main event world title match, The Billion Dollar Man faces (looks at the paper, and scoffs) Boppo the Clown? THAT is a serious contender to the SWF title? I think The Billion Dollar Man is abusing his power to have easy matches, instead of facing real competition like.....(Dean holds his headset, apparently someone is speaking to him through it, and Dean is not happy with what he hears) Fans, I was just told if I didn't apologize, and retract my harsh statements about The Billion Dollar Man's assertion of power, I'd be fired, so I hereby retract my statements, and apologize to The Billion Dollar Man, and you fans. (The fans boo, and Angelica looks upset over BDM's abuse of control)


Moving on, in a U.S. title match, The Freedom Fighter will defend against Yeti, Octane will defend his Televison title against the newcomers Lt. Jim Dingle, Alabama Man, and The Principal in a 4 Way Dance, The Breakfast Club's Burnout, Jock, & Nerd will challenge Sex Connection for the 6 man titles, and Hardcore champ Jack Suicide will face JuJu. Also, an important note, the tag belts WILL be on the line, but I am to clarify the following. Last week, while Cash Inc's Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money won the # 1 contendership for the titles, they will not be receiving their title shot tonight, which The Billion Dollar Man informed me, he will explain later in the show. Anyways, the SWF Tag Team titles will be defended in a tag team gauntlet match, involving champs The Black Dragons, Faith & Devotion, Kings of the Street, Crazy Phil & The Janitor, Petey Pizzazz & The Mercenary, Tripp & X, Disco Danny & Jimmy Jam, Charles Gunn & Rory Rogers, and two random draw teams to get as many people involved as possible for a crack at championship gold.


Angelica: Let's waste no time in getting to the first match!


SWF Televison title: 4 Way Dance- Octane vs Alabama Man w/ Miss Alabama vs Lt. Jim Dingle vs The Principal
Octane kills a terrified Jim Dingle, who seems like little a nancy boy, and Octane spares him the Empty Tank by pinning him after a running big boot. Alabama is not so lucky, he gets the Empty Tank, and pinned not long after Dingle, followed right after by another Empty Tank, and pin on the Principal, making this a quick squash. Angelica can't help but point out this match is a way to keep Octane out of the World title hunt, since everyone knows Octane could easily win the title. Angelica is then forced to apologize when BDM tells her to over the headset.
*Winner, and STILL SWF TV Champion* Octane


We head backstage where BDM explains why Jaffe & Joe don't get their title shots tonight. He says they will get it at his first PPV offering, "Cash Inc Presents: Slamboree". He says tonight is set so everyone can get a chance at titles, and the tag match is to determine the best team to face Jaffe & Joe at the PPV, since he thinks they are the best team in the SWF. That is B.S. since he obviously stacked the deck against The Black Dragons, hoping they lose the belts tonight so Cash Inc can face an easier team for the gold at Slamboree! BDM says the full PPV lineup will be announced next week. BDM then says Jaffe & Joe WILL wrestle tonight, in a handicap match! He's giving them an easy match! BDM says all the talent have a matches tonight, and says the five men not scheduled yet are in a drawing, to pick two teams for the tag title gauntlet, and the one left faces Jaffe & Joe in the handicap match! To his "shock", Repo is facing Jaffe & Joe in the handicap match, and Ayatollah Sheik teams with Tex Gentry, while Cpt. Fantastic teams with Mike Suicide are the random teams in the gauntlet. BDM then says, "In a step towards equality" he's adding the female members of the Breakfast Club, The Rich Girl & The Freak to the tag gauntlet, making it 11 teams in the match! BDM also says the handicap match is next.


Handicap match: Cash Inc vs Repo
Cash Inc await Repo, who comes out as Geroge "The Animal" Steele! Too bad he's killed in about 30 seconds with the Payoff from Joe Money for the pin.
*Winners* Cash Inc


We head backstage, where a still dazed from his match with Octane, Lt. Jim Dingle passes some crew members, who say they can't find "Steve", who is apparently works as a page. Dingle, wasting no time, says very seriously, "I'm on the case!", and runs off to find Steve.


SWF 6 Man title match: Sex Connection vs The Breakfast Club
The Breakfast Club hold their own in a wild pier six brawl, during which the ref is knocked down, then, The Principal runs down, carrying a chair! He goes to hit The Burnout, but Burnout shoves Beef Macho in front of him, so Beef gets hit! Burnout quickly covers Beef as The Principal runs off, confused, and The Nerd & The Jock hold Randy & Silkky at bay, 1-2-3! New champs! What an upset!
*Winners, and NEW SWF 6 Man Champions* The Breakfast Club

Post Match: The Breakfast Club celebrate their win, as The Freak & The Rich Girl join the festivities.


Backstage, Dingle is still in search of Steve, and he looks around through the various dressing rooms, saying he has run all over the place, with no trace of him. Dingle then suspects that Steve might have been dragged into the bathroom and "violated", a situation he says he has dealt with more times than he likes to remember. Dingle quietly moves into the Ladies room and hears an agonizing moan, and sees tapping feet from the first stall. Dingle looks at the camera, and signals that he's "Moving in on the sicko", with that he charges the door, shrieking like a little girl, and kicks the door in! We then hear an angry man asking what is going on, then Dingle pulls the door off the man, who is on the toilet! Dingle then converses with the man:


Dingle(embarrassed): Oh, I am SO sorry sir...


Upset Man: Steve, my name is Steve.


Dingle(smiles): So YOUR Steve! I was looking for you, people were wondering where you where, so I took the case.

Steve(mad, but trying to be nice): Case? Well, there is no case, I am having some "stomach problems" so I'd really appreciate if you left.

Dingle(slaps head, and laughs): Duh! What am I thinking! Ok, I'm gonna take off now, let you... get back to business. It was nice meeting you Steve (reaches to shake his hands, but withdrawals his hand, and laughs at his gesture) Whoa! I don't think I wanna do that!

Steve(angry): Can you just go now?


Dingle(serious): Sure.

Dingle tries putting back up the door, but it falls again, so he just runs off, embarrassed!


SWF U.S. Title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Yeti
Freedom dispatches Freedom pretty quickly with the Star Spangled Slam.
*Winner, and STILL SWF U.S. Champion* The Freedom Fighter


SWF Hardcore title match: Jack Suicide vs JuJu
The two have a spirited brawl, before Jack puts a trash can on JuJu's head, pushes him over, then does the Suicide Splash onto JuJu, who is still in the trash can! A hurt Jack pins JuJu, then runs off to the back before anyone can run down to challenge him for the belt.
*Winner, and STILL SWF Hardcore Champion* Jack Suicide


11 team SWF Tag Team title Gauntlet match
The way this works as two teams will randomly start, all allowed to fight at once, with no tag rule applying. You are eliminated by pinfall, submission, or being tossed over the top rope. BOTH members of a team must be eliminated. When one team is eliminated, the next team, determined via drawing enters, and so on until one team is left. The last team, or team member, representing a team get the titles. Now, for team # 1....Kings of the Street! Team 2 is....Rory Rogers & Charles Gunn of the Good Ol' Boys! The two go at it, and Tony soon tosses Rory, but Gunn pins Don after hitting his Gunnslinger finish while he does that! The two men then battle it out, resulting with Tony hitting The Edge, then scoring the win! Charles & Rory have been eliminated (Team Elimination # 1)! Team # 3 comes out...The Black Dragons! They are gonna really have to work to keep their titles! The Dragons use their speed to wear Tony down, and toss him out, but he didn't go without a fight. Kings of the Street are now officially gone (Team Elimination # 2). Team # 4 is next....Cpt. Fantastic & Mike Suicide! Fantastic & Mike put up quite the fight, but, The Dragons superior teamwork allows them to toss Fantastic, then they finish Mike off with the Dragon Attack! Fantastic & Mike are eliminated (Team Elimination # 3). Team # 5 is....The Mercenary & Petey Pizzazz! Mercenary beats up both men quite a bit, but somehow, when Merc goes to toss Shadow out, Shadow hangs on, slides underneath Merc, and dumps him instead! Petey is now left alone with The Black Dragons. Petey tries with all his might, giving a great effort, but the Dragons eventually hit him with the Dragon Attack! Merc & Petey are gone (Team Elimination # 4). The Dragons are a bit tired after the effort they've put forth so far, and await team # 6....X & Tripp! X & Tripp come on strong, since they are the fresh men, but the Dragons suck it up, and simultaneously toss them over the top rope! X & Tripp have been eliminated (Team Elimination # 5)! Team # 7 turns out to be....Jimmy Jam & Disco Danny of Generation Gap! The tired Dragons try their best, but almost get tossed, which serves to revive them, feeling the belts slip away, so they come at their foes as hard as they can, hitting them with their respective finishers! The two cover at the same time, score the win, and Danny & Jimmy are eliminated (Team Elimination # 6). Team # 8 come out....It's the Freak & The Rich Girl! The female team is gonna go toe to toe with the tag champions! On the way to the ring, The Rich Girl grabs a mic, and tells the Dragons from the outside that they didn't ask to be in the match, that BDM forced them to be in it, but they can't possibly fight any of the other SWF talent, the tag team champions no less. So, the ladies enter the ring, and jump out over the top rope eliminating themselves (Team Elimination # 7)! The two females also say what a sick person BDM is for trying to force them in such a match, and how he's abusing his power, which the fans agree with. When they leave, Team # 9 come down....Tex Gentry & Ayatollah Sheik! The Dragons give it all they have once again, and toss Tex, but Sheik serves to be a tough problem, as he shocases his power by fending both men, but is unable to toss them. Sheik manages to get Shadow almost out, but Quow sneaks up on him, playing possum, and tosses Sheik! Sheik & Tex are gone (Team Elimination # 8)! Team # 10 make their way down....Crazy Phil & The Janitor! The fans pop huge for this match up, since both teams are very popular. The tired Dragons are overwhelmed, and the fans root hard for Janitor & Phil, since they want them to win the gold ever since their epic near victory at No Escape. Phil ends up getting dumped by Quow, and the distraction allows Shadow to hit Janitor with the Flying Wizard! 1-2-3, Janitor is pinned, and Phil & The Janitor are eliminated (Team Elimination # 9). The fans are upset, but after the disaproval comes applause of respect, as The Black Dragons have made so far, with only Team # 11 standing in their way.... Faith & Devotion! F&D come down to stomp on the Dragons as soon as Janitor was pinned, but this turns out to be a fatal error, since Reverend is tossed almost instantly, and Xavier is left alone to be polished off with the Dragon Attack! The fans return to popping for the Dragons, and pop huge when Shadow pins Xavier to win the grueling match (Team Elimination # 10)!
*Winners, and STILL SWF Tag Team Champions* The Black Dragons


Main Event: SWF World title match: The Billion Dollar Man vs Boppo the Clown
This is a nothing match, BDM easily beats Boppo, just like everyone thought. The fans are totally pissed at BDM, and chants for Extreme Superstar become deafening.
*Winner, and STILL SWF World Champion* The Billion Dollar Man


We go back to the announcers, who intro the footage promised earlier, where Vance goes to reason with Extreme Superstar.

The footage starts with Vance arriving at the Miami home of Extreme Superstar (which is pretty swank). Miami is where the SWF is filmed, there seems to be some discrepancy among some fans as to where both the SWF Arena & SWF Superdome are located. Anyways, Vance knocks on the door, and after a few seconds, it slowly opens, revealing Extreme Superstar, to which the live crowd pops HUGE for. Extreme doesn't look too good though, he's pretty disheveled, with unkempt hair, wearing some lounging clothes (a plain white shirt, and black shorts), which gives the impression that he hasn't left his home since his seemingly goodbye look at the SWF Arena last week, a theory supported by the way he squints at the sunlight when he answers the door. Also, he looks very sad, and has a hard time even looking Vance in the eyes. The two then proceed to have the following exchange:

Vance(somewhat shocked at Extreme's appearance): Hi.

Extreme(looking at the floor, and using a sad, low voice): Vance.

Vance(breaking an awkward silence): Have you been watching?

Extreme(sighs, and says with anguish): Yeah.

Vance: It's awful. When are coming back?

Extreme(lifts his head and looks at Vance, seemingly close to tears): I'm not. (The live crowd is heard gasping)

Vance(shocked): What?

Extreme(once again looking away, still very emotional): It's over. I don't care anymore, I'm tired. (you can hear the shocked crowd buzzing about what was just said)

Vance(is disbelief): Rob, (short for Extreme's given name, and what his friends call him) PLEASE. We need you, he's gonna ruin everything you've built.

Extreme(sighs again, in a pained voice): Look, I'm getting out of the business, let whoever takes over handle it. I'm done Vance.

Vance(refusing to believe what he's hearing): No. You can't let it end like this!

Extreme(more emotional, but still quiet): I had my moment, I don't need to prove anything else to anyone. Everything has passed me by, and I can't do it anymore.

Vance(emotional, and pleading): Deep down inside of you, that man we all know, he's still there. For the sake of you own creation, the SWF, FIND HIM!

Extreme(near tears): He's DEAD Vance, Extreme Superstar is GONE. All that's left is what you see now, an ordinary man. I've done some amazing things with the SWF and all, but that's over now, It's time for me to stop playing superhero, and resign to a regular existence. It couldn't last forever, and the sooner we all realize it, the better off we'll be.

Vance(still in disbelief): You are not the man I came to see. You are not the man that I was looking for.

Extreme(pained and angered): Who were you looking for Vance? The mythological hero, that would heed your pleas, and rush back and save the day? (The still stunned crowd pops slightly) Well I'm sorry to inform you Vance, but no such person exists. (the crowd boos)

Vance(emotional and somewhat angry): He DID exist. At one time, a time not so long ago, which you seem to have completely forgotten, he lived in YOU. Extreme Superstar was not just a character, all the energy and passion that he had didn't simply come from nowhere, it belonged to you, it was YOURS Rob. And dammit, whether you want to believe me or not, it's STILL there, and always will be. But, if you choose not to let it escape from wherever it's hiding, then there's no amount of convincing in the world that will bring it back. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

Extreme(very emotional): I'm sorry Vance. I'm sorry to everyone that I've let down. I just can't be the man you want me to be, and that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, but know this (Extreme with a few tears in his eyes, briefly looks at the camera) NOTHING will ever erase the memories of all the things I was lucky enough to be a part of. And I will truly miss all the fans, friends, and other supporters I've made along the way, as I do love each and every one of them. As much as it pains me....goodbye

We see tears coming down Extreme's face as he slowly closes the door, leaving Vance and the cameraman on the front steps, with Vance holding back tears. We return to the announcers, where we see Dean also fighting tears, and Angelica takes her headset off, and begins to cry, before rushing off.

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 5/1/04

We open with a recap of last week's brutal attack on Extreme. Then, we skip the intro, and go live, where a sad Vance & Dean are addressing not only the home viewers, but the live audience as well:

Vance(upset): You all just saw the footage of last week's despicable attack on Extreme Superstar, the owner of this company (the crowd boos loudly about the attack).

Dean(also upset): Extreme was severely injured in the attack, and was taken to a local medical facility, where he was treated for a multitude of injuries.

Vance(having a hard time speaking): Dean, Angelica, and I went right to the hospital to see Extreme as soon as we could get up there. Extreme was terribly upset, and when he was done being treated, he ripped the IV out of his arm, and blew past medical personnel on his way out of the hospital. We tried reasoning with him, but he then sadly told us that he was going home, and that it was "over"(loud boos). None of us here in the SWF have heard from him since, and have no idea what to make of the situation, other than that since Extreme seemingly has given up control of the SWF (LOUD boos) the SWF board of directors, headed by myself, will assume control over the SWF broadcasts...

Any further statement is cut off by the sound of The Billion Dollar Man's music, which gets MEGA boos. BDM looks very chipper, and he makes his way to the announce position where Vance & Dean are. BDM then grabs Dean's mic and starts talking:

BDM(ecstatic): Hello all you wonderful people! (BIG boos) Oh, I guess your mad about what I did last week. Well, it had to be done. (more loud boos) Extreme crossed me one too many times, so I had to put a stop to him. I honestly didn't want to go that far with it, but when I heard this next little diddy, there was now way I could resist. You see, in the SWF rule book (pulls the book out of his inside jacket pocket) it says that when the head honcho, in this case, Extreme Superstar is unable to fulfill his duties, the SWF World champ, that would be ME, can assume match making control! (LOUD boos)

Vance: WAIT! (takes the rule book from BDM, and looks through it) That only pertains to World championship matches!

BDM(laughs): That's not how it's written! Page 14, third paragraph. The ambiguous wording technically allows me to assume full control! (more major boos)

Vance: (looking at the text in shock) He's right. (staggering boos) I'm afraid to say this fans, but The Billion Dollar Man is now in control of the SWF! (the boos pile up, and garbage is hurled at the stage)

BDM(evilly laughs): Oh yes, I am now the man in charge of the SWF! So tonight, *I* am making the matches! (the booing continues) In keeping with what was advertised last week, the newest SWF talents Jim Dingle & Alabama Man WILL debut tonight, in addition to some other major matches. I feel so good, I want to defend the SWF title, and I will, against the man I faced to win it at Spring Stampede, Quow Ling! He came too close to beating me at the PPV, and I have to erase all the doubt in everyone's mind about beating him. I'll beat Quow Ling fair and square, or I'll tell you what, I'll give control of the SWF back to Vance and the board of directors! (BIG pop) In other matches, my friends Jahalaman Jaffe & Joe Money are without a doubt, the best team in the SWF, so they deserve to be tag champs again. Tonight, you will see them face another top team, The Suicide Brothers for # 1 contendership! Since The Shadow's partner is gonna be busy facing me, Shadow can fight in a title match, for the TV title, once again versus Octane! After that match, I don't think I have to worry about Shadow interfering to help Quow in our World title match! And finally, Freedom Fighter, you will have a title match too, versus Petey Pizzazz! Vance, is there any saying you want to start the show off with perhaps?

Vance(half heartedly): Let's kick it off.

Alabama Man vs The Reverend
Alabama Man comes out to Sweet Home Alabama by Lynard Skynyrd as seen in his promos. The woman with him is known as Miss Alabama, which is displayed on her beauty pageant sash. She is a very attractive blond woman, made up to look trashy, wearing torn daisy duke shorts, and a sleeveless red and white checkered shirt that is tied up in the front. Alabama Man is said to be 6'4 246 pounds, and he has short brown hair, and a grizzly short hair beard. He wears long acid wash denim shorts, and a sleeveless open red and black checkered flannel shirt with a white wife beater tank top under it. His boots are made to look like light brown construction boots. Alabama Man dominates, using an brawling style, and when Reverend is face down on the mat, he applies his finishing hold, a move we are told Extreme Superstar himself taught to him in training, known as the Alabama Twister. It's a submission, where Alabama Man does the toehold clamp like in an STF, but locks on a half nelson with one hand, reaches his other hand around the front for a Tazzmission, clamping the man, then pulling the upper body as high as he can get it, and twisting the torso to the side! The move looks quite painful, and Rev taps soon after it's applied! Not sure what to think of Alabama Man, as he acts like a heel, but just faced, and beat a heel.
*Winner* Alabama Man


We head backstage, where Angelica is with the debuting Jim Dingle. Dingle is wearing the light brown cop uniform, with the short shorts. Dingle seems like a nice guy, and he starts complimenting Angelica on her clothes?! He does seems to know a lot about women's fashion though. Jim says he is a Lieutenant, so I guess we call him Lt. Jim Dingle. Dingle says he's in the SWF to lay down the law and order. He is starting tonight vs The Don, since Don is a man of "Questionable ethics".


Lt. Jim Dingle vs The Don
Dingle is said to be 6'0, 230lbs, and comes out to a techno mix of the Beverly Hills Cop Theme, and dances horribly to it! The fans, and announcers can't help but laugh. Dingle takes punishment right off the bat, but uses some nice technical wrestling to take control. Dingle ends up stopping Don with a boot as he runs off the ropes, and hooks him for a lifting double arm DDT! The announcers say it's called the Dingle Drop. 1-2-3, and it's curtains for The Don.
*Winner* Lt. Jim Dingle

SWF Televison title match: Octane vs The Shadow
Shadow, like last week, gives it a good go, but falls prey to the Empty Tank after a few minutes of exciting action.
*Winner, and STILL SWF TV Champion* Octane


We go to a video, which seems to be in a dark basement, and we hear the sounds of the song Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus, which was featured in the film Silence of the Lambs, in a setting like this for the bizarre character.... Oh. My. God. The SWF is really gonna go there. And indeed, we see a creepy man, with disheveled blond hair, a floral robe on, sitting in front of a vanity mirror, and applying lipstick! He laughs with a very deep voice, and speaks of how he is so pretty, and that he must look his best for his "Big debut". The man sways to the music, singing along, as we fade out, and a graphic declares that "Buffalo Billy is coming". Dear lord, the SWF is really gonna have a character based on BUFFALO BILL FROM SILENCE OF THE LAMBS!!!!


We head to the announcers, who are understandably creeped out at the impending arrival of Buffalo Billy, but don't actually have a debut date for his arrival.


SWF Tag Team titles # 1 Contendership match: The Suicide Brothers vs Cash Inc.
The Suicides come on strong, but Cash Inc are ready for this match, and take the fight right to them. We get some great back and forth, and after a long battle, Jaffe nails Mike with the Arabian Goodnight for the pin!
*Winners, and # 1 Contenders* Cash Inc.


SWF U.S. title match: The Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz
This is a rematch of their Spring Stampede I Quit Match, and I assume Petey gets this chance because of his ties to BDM, and aiding in the Extreme attack last week. The announcers even point out how most of the people to get matches this week were ones who aided BDM last week in the Extreme Superstar attack. They express their dislike for BDM's assumption of power, and talk of missing Extreme. After quite the effort, Freedom plants Petey with a Star Spangled Slam to once again beat him.
*Winner, and STILL SWF U.S. Champion* The Freedom Fighter

Post Match: Petey seems really upset as he sits up after the loss that he failed for the second time to win the U.S. title, and he springs up to attack Freedom as he leaves the ring! Officials swarm to ringside to pull Petey off of Freedom! The announcers bring up the mean streak that had been seen in Petey over the past several weeks.


Main Event: SWF World title match- The Billion Dollar Man vs Quow Ling
The crowd is all over BDM, and cheer Quow vigorously, hoping he can beat BDM, so he is no longer in control of the SWF. The ring announcer also clarifies that BDM loses his power if he cheats, or uses any outside interference. BDM attacks right away, but Quow fights back, and unloads on him, and the fans go crazy. BDM soon fights back, and slows down the pace to his liking, firmly grasping control of the match. The fans rally behind Quow, and there are also mixed in chants for Extreme Superstar, as many hope he shows up. Quow makes the big comeback, and battles with BDM for quite some time, wearing him down enough to go to the top rope! Quow comes off with a shooting star press, and hits it! 1....2....NO! BDM kicked out! A stunned Quow goes to pick up BDM from the mat, and he's rolled up for a pin! The crowd gasps in horror as the ref counts 1....2....QUOW ROLLS INTO A REVERSAL! The ref starts the new count 1....2........NO! BDM kicked out! SO close. Quow takes to using his faced paced moves to wear down BDM some more, but misses a spinning heel kick! Quow tries to recover quickly, but the match has taken it's toll, and he's not getting up too fast. As he makes it to his feet, Quow is met by an equally tired BDM, who goes to kick Quow, possibly to set up the Billion Dollar Bomb, but his foot is grabbed! Quow goes for an enziguri, but BDM ducks down, and Quow ends up landing on his feet! However, Quow is now with his back to BDM, so BDM slaps on the Billion Dollar Dream! BDM shakes Quow violently in the hold, and when Quow tries to break free, BDM drops to the mat! BDM now has Quow locked in the hold on the canvas, but Quow refuses to surrender, forcing BDM onto his back (but his shoulders are up) as fans cheer him on. Quow holds his arms up, letting the ref know that he's still in the fight, and he plants his feet on either side of BDM, trying to bridge out. Quow gets a good push, and flips over BDM, who still has the hold locked in, and Quow is now on him for the pin, while both men are still tangled in the move! The ref goes for the count, 1.....2.........NO! BDM rolls out, and pulls himself up, as does Quow. BDM then scores a kick to the gut, before quickly hitting the Billion Dollar Bomb! BDM, is tired, and fails to roll the move into the pin as he usually does, but he rolls Quow over for one, 1....2....3! BDM won!
*Winner, and STILL SWF World champ, and man in charge* The Billion Dollar Man

Post Match: The fans boo loudly, and BDM celebrates with his title, as his Cash Inc buddies run down to share in the moment. The fans start hurling garbage in the ring, then loud chants for Extreme go up. The camera then desperately pans to the aisle, waiting to see if Extreme actually shows. Then, we switch cameras, hearing a commotion that something is going on outside, and we follow the camera out the front door. There we see a lone man in the distant darkness, wearing similar clothes that Extreme Superstar is usually seen in, right down to the backwards white fitted hat. He stares up at the big neon SWF Arena sign, but soon walks off as the camera man draws near, and calls out to him, saying "Extreme?". The man gets into a giant black SUV with dark tinted windows, and slowly drives off, as the camera rushes to see if it is indeed Extreme. We catch the licence plate as the car drives away, and it's a custom one, that reads "Extreme 1" in red letters. The announcers identify that the car does indeed belong to Extreme Superstar, and we fade out.

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 4/24/04
SWF Main Event 4/24/04

We recap last night's Spring Stampede show before the intro, then go to Vance & Dean, as Extreme was only announcing through the Extreme Lethal Lottery.

Vance: Welcome to another edition of SWF Main Event! Tonight should be very interesting, since we have crowned our new SWF champion!

Dean: Last night, much to the dismay of virtually everyone, The Billion Dollar Man beat Quow Ling in the final match of the Extreme Lethal Lottery, winning the SWF title back again in the process.

Vance: After the match, Extreme Superstar, who was in the aisle running off BDM's Cash Inc pals, ran to the ring and laid a massive beating on the newly crowned champ. As we went off air, a furious BDM scurried to the back, swearing revenge. And knowing The Billion Dollar Man, I wouldn't doubt he has planned something. What will come of his promise of revenge? Only time will tell.

Dean: We should also mention, for those who missed Spring Stampede, in the other title matches, the champions were all successful. But, onto tonight, we have some great action lined up:

In the first ever women's match in SWF history, the Breakfast Club's own girls, The Rich Girl & The Freak will go on on one!

Also, the other Breakfast Club members, The Burnout, The Jock, & The Nerd will make their wrestling debuts versus Tripp, Repo, & the Breakfast Club's arch enemy Principal Vernon!

And, in title matches, U.S. champ The Freedom Fighter faces Mike Suicide, and the SWF Televison champ Octane defends against The Shadow!

Vance: Without further ado, let's KICK IT OFF!


SWF Televison title match: Octane vs The Shadow
We have a good match, where Shadow holds his own with Octane, but eventually falls prey to the Empty Tank, and it's over.
*Winner, and STILL SWF Televison Champion* Octane


We head backstage, where the new SWF World champ, The Billion Dollar Man plots with the rest of Cash Inc. He makes a cryptic comment, saying that "Everything is set for tonight".


First ever SWF women's wrestling match: The Freak vs The Rich Girl
Both come out to the Breakfast Club theme, and look hesitant to fight. The Rich Girl then suggests that they leave the ring, to be counted out, but The Freak doesn't want it that way! The Rich Girl gets mad, then they two argue, before engaging in a CATFIGHT! The crowd is into it, as The Freak dominates the brawl, I guess rich chicks aren't keen on fighting. The Freak leaves The Rich Girl laying on the mat, and climbs the ropes! She comes off with a big splash! The Freak goes for the pin, 1-2-3! It's over!
*Winner* The Freak

Post Match: The rest of the Breakfast Club come out, and along with The Freak, they help the Rich Girl up. The Freak & The Rich Girl shake hands, making amends. Before too much celebrating can be done, Principal Vernon, & Tripp storm the ring! They attack their opponents for tonight as The Freak & The Rich girl retreat! The ref rings the bell, so this match will start now!


The Burnout, The Jock, & The Nerd (The Breakfast Club) vs Principal Vernon, Tripp, & Repo
As per usual, Repo is nowhere to be found, no doubt readying for his grand entrance. As the three men of Breakfast Club do a major beat down on Vernon & Tripp, we hear the music of HHH! Out comes Repo, dressed in a "street gear HHH" getup, with the denim vest over a leather jacket, and he's got a toy sledgehammer! Repo tries to beat on people with the hammer, but it's just a toy, and The Jock boots him in the stomach, and plants him with a DDT! The Nerd then hits a Lionsault on the fallen Repo! The Burnout & The Jock fend off Tripp & Vernon, with Burnout using a Death Valley Driver to keep him at bay while The Nerd pins Repo! It's over!
*Winners* The Breakfast Club

We now go to a video, where we hear the sounds of Lynard Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama, and see a big guy with a scruffy beard, and an attractive, but poorly dressed blonde woman riding down a country road in a open topped old jalopy truck ala the Beverly Hillbillies. We then see a graphic that says "Next week....Alabama Man is coming".

We head to Vance & Dean, who inform us Alabama Man & his lady friend are the newest talents coming to the SWF, set to debut next week, along with the next man we will see, which leads us to another vingette:

In this vingette, we see a man who is obviously a take on tv character Jim Dangle from the hilarious Comedy Central show Reno 911!. The man in the footage looks just like him, and is clad in a similar police uniform, even the daisy duke shorts. The man is on a police training course, where he manages to miss a pop up target, and instead shoot a squad car off course, which blows up! The superior officer yells at him, and we learn his name, Jim Dingle. Dingle claims the sun got in his eyes, which the superior officer doesn't buy. Dingle then states that his gun misfired. Dingle tries to demonstrate what went wrong, and ends up firing again, this time, hitting another car, and blowing it up! Dingle then drops the gun and runs off before he can be yelled at. We then get a graphic saying Dingle is coming next week.

Main Event: SWF U.S. title match- The Freedom Fighter vs Mike Suicide
Mike actually dominates with his speed, and comes THIS close to taking the belt away from Freedom on at least three occasions. Freedom somehow fights back, and hits the Star Spangled Slam out of nowhere to pick up the win. He was lucky though, as Mike almost nabbed the title.
*Winner, and STILL SWF U.S. Champion* The Freedom Fighter

We cut backstage, where a crew member rushes to Extreme Superstar's office to tell him that Angelica Summers was being held captive by The Billion Dollar Man in the parking lot! Extreme races to the parking lot to see what is up, looking furious, and he runs through the door, and Joe Money, who was hiding behind the door, slams it shut, and locks it with a key! Extreme turns to see him, and prepares to fight, but Joe urges him to turn around. When he does, we see The Billion Dollar Man, Jahalaman Jaffe, Faith & Devotion, Kings of the Street, Yeti, The Mercenary, & Petey Pizzazz all come out from hiding, coming closer to Extreme! It was a trap! Extreme is locked in the parking area vs 10 guys! The gang of ten swarm Extreme viciously beating him unmercifully, slamming him against cars even! while BDM screams out getting revenge for being embarrassed by Extreme all the time. The gang beat Extreme so bad that he's covered in blood, and is unable to move. For the coup de grace, BDM has them lift Extreme, and they carry him over to the far side of the lot, where an office for parking personnel is, but unfortunately, no personnel is actually there to help Extreme. The office has a big glass window in front of it, so BDM has the men throw Extreme head first through it! Extreme crashes through the window, and lands sickeningly on the floor in the office, remaining completely out of it. BDM congratulates the group on a job well done, promising big rewards to them as we fade out after one last shot of the mangled Extreme.

END OF SHOW

SWF Spring Stampede
SWF Spring Stampede

We open with a video covering the whole Extreme Lethal Lottery, and the lottery picks for all the other SWF title matches for tonight. We then go live for some pyro, and see the cool western style setup for Spring Stampede. The sides of the aisle are cover in hay, and have cactuses, old farm gates, and even a barn setup! Then we go to the announcers for the intro:

Vance: Welcome to SWF Spring Stampede!

Extreme: Tonight we have the final match of my Extreme Lethal Lottery tournament, and the winner will be crowned SWF champion! We also have several other fantastic lottery-drawn title matches lined up, tell `em Dean!

Dean: Tonight, in the Extreme Lethal Lottery SWF World title finals, Quow Ling is going to go one on one with The Billion Dollar Man! Also, we he the following other big title matches:

I Quit Match for the SWF U.S. title- The Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz

Four Way Dance for the SWF TV title- Octane vs Joe Money vs Disco Danny vs Captain Fantastic

SWF 6 Man title Ladder match- Sex Connection vs Crazy Phil, Mike Suicide, & Tex Gentry

SWF Hardcore title Steel Cage match- Jack Suicide vs The Janitor

Vance: In addition to that, those ruffians who disrupted a match last week involving Repo & Tripp, dubbed as the Breakfast Club, are set to be on Petey's Parlor! So without further ado, let's KICK IT OFF!

SWF Hardcore title Steel Cage match: Jack Suicide vs The Janitor
For the record, the cage is a "newer" model, with chain linked fencing, and metal rigging along the top to make it easier to stand on or climb over. Unlike most of these sorts of cages though, this one looks a legit 15 feet high. There is a ref in the ring, and the door is padlocked shut, and we are told the only ways to win is by climbing out, or pinfall/submission. Janitor attacks early, wanting to win the title he once held back. He dominates, then sends Jack face first into the cage, and makes an attempt to climb out. Jack catches him about halfway up, and pulls him down, causing both men to fall to the mat. Jack recovers first, and pick up Janitor and starts to wear him down. Janitor fights back, but then, out of nowhere, Jack kicks him, and uses his brother Mike's Suicidal Twist finishing move! Jack then rushes up the cage, but once he gets to the top, he decides not to go, and looks down at Janitor! He is gonna jump onto him! Jack then does a Suicide Splash onto Janitor! Jack is hurt from hitting the move, and obviously Janitor is hurt as well, but Jack's upper body is still on Janitor, so the ref counts the pin, 1-2-3! Jack wins!
*Winner, and STILL SWF Hardcore Champion* Jack Suicide


We are now told the Breakfast Club will be on Petey's Parlor, and all the participants are already standing by, so we cut right to Petey:

Petey: As you kids all know, I have a VERY big match later, so let's hurry this along. (looks at the Judd Nelson character guy) You there, I guess we call you Bender, or what?

Judd Nelson Breakfast Club guy(angry): No Petey, since all you people like to fit us into roles, and cliques, we shall be known as representatives of your imposed caste system, using the names of the groups we're all so readily placed into! I guess you might call me "The Burnout", based on my appearance alone, so you go ahead and call me that! (points to the Anthony Michael Hall character) He shall be known by you as "The Nerd"! (points to the Emilio Estevez character) He is "The Jock", (points to the Molly Ringwald character) she is "The Rich Girl", and finally, (points to the Ally Sheedy character) she is "The Freak"! We don't like these labels, but since society is predisposed to judging us based on our appearances, we have chosen not to fight that futile fight! As you can tell, there is a LOT of angst and resentment in our group, the group you call the Breakfast Club, and like the movie, we are FILLED with those emotions, and have come to the SWF to take out our aggressions on EVERYONE!

Petey: Well ok...

The crowd starts to pop big, and Petey stops talking, noticing Extreme Superstar walking from the announce booth. Petey hands Extreme a mic, and he addresses the new group:

Extreme: I'm glad you guys found a good gimmick that really works for you, but if you are gonna take your aggressions out on people, you have to do it the right way, unlike your debut last week. That is the reason why I am going to give you a chance to get your hostilities out, the proper way, in wrestling matches! (The crowd cheers) So, tomorrow night on SWF Main Event, you will all be making your wrestling debuts. You ladies, being the only two females on the roster, can live out that high school clique super match, as The Rich Girl faces The Freak! (The crowd cheers loudly) That should be a historic, as it's the first ever female wrestling match in SWF history. Now, onto the males of the group. You boys didn't make any friends with Tripp & Repo, who's match you interfered in, so you three, The Burnout, The Jock, & The Nerd, will face off against Tripp, Repo, and the principal guy who you ran away from during your debut! Tell me, what is that man's name?

The Burnout: That's Principal Vernon, our sworn enemy, and in our match versus him, the Breakfast Club is going to silence that authority figure for good!

Extreme: That sounds great, I'll see you all tomorrow night then. Petey you have an important match coming up, so I know you want to wrap this up. (gives Petey the mic and walks back the announce booth to a big pop)

Petey: Alright then, you heard it folks, two big matches signed for tomorrow's SWF Main Event show! I'll see you there, wearing the SWF United States title I'm going to win later on (big boos), goodbye for now!

Petey drops the mic and everyone leaves the set, as we go to the ring for the next match.


SWF 6 Man title Ladder match- Sex Connection vs Crazy Phil, Mike Suicide, & Tex Gentry
The ladder for this starts off in the aisle, ala old school ladder matches. The six do the big pier 6 brawl to start, until they pair off, with Randy & Beef taking Tex & Mike to the floor with the fight. Phil & Randy engage in a wrestling match in the ring, with Randy dominating, but the crowd rallying behind Phil, who turns things around with some brawling style offense. On the floor, Tex has managed to get away from the action, and grabs the ladder, then tries to sneak it back inside the ring, but Beef Macho catches him, dropping him with a clothesline from behind, sending both the ladder and Tex to the ground. Beef then calls to Randy, and slides the ladder in the ring. Randy drops Phil with a right hand, and goes for the ladder, but Phil recovers and punches on him before he can set the ladder up. Back on the floor, Mike nails Silkky with a DDT! Silkky is out cold! Mike then slides in the ring, and as Phil wards off Randy, and Tex struggles with Beef on the outside, he sets up the ladder, and quickly starts to climb it! He gets to the top in seconds, and wastes no time reaching for the gold, but Randy shoves Phil into the ladder, knocking the ladder down, and Mike goes for the ride too! Mike hits the ropes hard, and bounces to the floor! On the floor, Tex, almost hit by the falling Mike, moved to avoid collision, and Beef scooped him up, and hit him with a Beefy Bomb on the concrete! Beef then rushes in the ring, to help Randy finish off the last standing member of the challenging team, Crazy Phil. The crowd cheers Phil on, as he takes the fight to both men, managing to knock them both down long enough to set up the ladder. He starts climbing, but Beef Macho is up, so Phil jumps down onto him, nailing him with a double axe handle! But Randy Mann is up too, and he catches Phil with a boot to the stomach, and hits him with an inverted suplex onto the ropes! Phil sits draped over the ropes like laundry out to dry, allowing a recovering Beef to go up and grab the titles!
*Winners, and STILL SWF 6 Man Champions* Sex Connection

Post Match: Beef & Randy scoop up their injured partner Silkky, and they walk to the back victorious.


Four Way Dance SWF TV title match- Octane vs Joe Money vs Disco Danny vs Captain Fantastic
For those confused, this is the same as in elimination rules match, but SWF has decided to use the nifty ECW made "(insert # of opponents here) Way Dance" name from now on in place of the generic "4 Man Elimination" title. All 4 men start, but after some brawling, Joe Money hits The Payoff, pins Disco Danny, and he's gone. Not long after, Octane pins Fantastic, and now Joe & Octane battle it out. Inevitably, Octane nails the Empty Tank, and pins Joe for the win.
*Winner, and STILL SWF TV Champion* Octane


I Quit SWF U.S. title match- The Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz
So you know, in this contest, the referee has the mic, and hold it to a wrestler's mouth to see if they quit, leaving the wrestlers free to fight without worrying about where the mic is. Surprisingly, Petey comes on strong in the early goings, but Freedom rallies, and fights back. Freedom wears Petey down with various slams, wearing down Petey's back. Like any good heel, Petey low blows to control again, and reaches for the necklaces he wears to ringside, then wraps them around his hand, ready to blast Freedom as he recovers, which is legal, the match only stops when a wrestler admits defeat. Freedom turns right into the fist, but ducks! Freedom slips behind Petey, then lifts him seemingly for his finish, the Star Spangled Slam, but he hold Petey up for a Torture Rack! Freedom really has Petey locked in the painful hold, and after a minute or so, Petey finally says "I Quit"!
*Winner, and STILL SWF U.S. Champion* The Freedom Fighter

We head to back to the announce booth, where Extreme, Vance, & Dean talk up the main event, to decide a new SWF World champ. It's obvious Extreme hates the idea of Billion Dollar Man winning the title right back, and he doesn't hide the fact that he wants Quow Ling to win. After that, we go to ringside for the big match

Main Event: For the vacant SWF World title- Quow Ling vs The Billion Dollar Man
Quow starts off strong, really laying into BDM, and using his speed to control, but BDM stops that after a few minutes after he evades a missile dropkick. Showing what a jerk he is, BDM picks up Quow, then hits Extreme Superstar's Lights Out! BDM then looks out towards the announce booth, and taunts Extreme, who they show looking ready to storm the ring! Vance & Dean prevent this, but BDM pays for his showboating, as Quow sneaks up on BDM, and rolls him up! 1....2....NO! SO close to having a new champ. Quow keeps on BDM after the near pin, and gets rolled up himself when he goes to lift his opponent! 1....2....NO! Quow kicked out! BDM remains in control after the near fall, and the fans try to get Quow back into the match. BDM lays into Quow for some time, and whips him off the ropes, and catches him with a BIG powerslam. BDM goes for the pin, and gets a CLOSE two count. BDM then lifts Quow, and sends him into the corner, but Quow springboards off, and jumps over BDM as he comes in for a sunset flip! 1....2....NO! BDM got the shoulder up! Quow is unrelenting though, and keeps on BDM. Quow goes to run off the ropes for a flying forearm or something, but a recovering BDM shoves the ref in the way, sending Quow & the official to the mat! BDM is obviously tired, and uses this chance to take a breather, pulling himself to a corner as the ref and his opponent lay out cold on the canvas from the collision. BDM then signals, as his Cash Inc buddies, Joe Money & Jahalaman Jaffe rush down to the ring through the crowd! Quow's partner, The Shadow is soon on the scene, but Jaffe & Joe are all over him, as BDM directs traffic in the corner. Having seen enough, Extreme rushes from the announce booth! Extreme hits the scene, and he helps Shadow take Jaffe & Joe out of the ring, where the duo fight Cash Inc up the aisle. In the ring, Quow & the ref are beginning to stir, and BDM reaches in his tights for a pair of brass knux, which he nails Quow with when he gets up! The referee is halfway to his feet, so BDM conceals the weapon, and hits the Billion Dollar Bomb on Quow, rolling into a pin, which the dazed referee begins to count, 1....2....3! BDM won the title again!
*Winner, and NEW SWF Champion* The Billion Dollar Man

Post Match: The fans boo the decision loudly. As the music and announcement of the new champ is made, Extreme turns to the ring, and looks VERY pissed. BDM then begins taunting Extreme, but that isn't a wise thing to do, as Extreme blazes down the aisle! Extreme slides into the ring, and beats the hell out of BDM, then tosses him out over the top rope! The fans go WILD, and BDM looks angry as he pulls himself up in the aisle way, swearing revenge as we go off the air.

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 4/17/04
SWF Main Event 4/17/04

Vance: Welcome to SWF Main Event!

Extreme: Tonight, we will see the final two rounds of tag team competition in the Extreme Lethal Lottery tournament! By night's end, we will know what two men will fight for the SWF title at Spring Stampede, which is only 6 days away! We also have some other stuff lined up tonight as well, don't we Dean?

Dean: We sure do Extreme! But before I get into that, let's take a look at the round 3 matches, as drawn last week:

Match 1- JuJu & Quow Ling vs Petey Pizzazz & Jack Suicide
Match 2- Octane & Ayatollah Sheik vs Boppo the Clown & The Billion Dollar Man

Dean: The four men who win those matches will then be entered into the fourth, and final round of tag competition, all taking place tonight! The two lucky men to win will then be moving on to the SWF title deciding match at Spring Stampede! But all the other wrestlers who failed to win the Lethal Lottery are in luck, as they will be entered into drawings for the other SWF title matches, to take place at Spring Stampede! Not only will the challengers be randomly drawn, but the match types as well! But, besides the tournament matches, you will also see Tripp take on Repo!

Vance: Let's KICK IT OFF!

SWF Extreme Lethal Lottery Match: Round 3, Match 1- JuJu & Quow Ling vs Petey Pizzazz & Jack Suicide
Allies JuJu & Petey were partnered up last week, and now face each other here. The two don't look happy that they must fight each other, so they step out and let their partners be the starters for the match. Jack & Quow have hooked up before, engaging in a classic war at Halloween Hell for the tag titles, so they aren't strangers. The two have a spirited, fast paced exchange, and when Jack gets monkey flipped back to his corner, he tags Petey in. Quow, playing mind games, tags in JuJu, pissing off Petey, as well as JuJu. The two friends stand in the ring, and feign locking up, then rush to tag out, but their partners both jump off the apron! They are forced to fight now! Petey tries to attack, but JuJu is too big, too strong, and he gets slaughtered. Petey finally scrambles back to Jack, who tag in, but he's promptly kicked, then hit with the JuJu Driver! JuJu goes for the pin, while Quow cuts Petey off from breaking it up, nailing him with the Death Kick! 1-2-3, it's over!
*Winners* JuJu & Quow Ling

SWF Extreme Lethal Lottery Match: Match 2- Octane & Ayatollah Sheik vs Boppo the Clown & The Billion Dollar Man
Boppo & BDM were partners before in round 2, where they beat Jaffe & Repo. Sheik was paired with Jack Suicide for both previous rounds, while Octane was with Randy Mann & Quow Ling in rounds 1 and 2 respectively. Neither teaming seem happy with their choice of partners. BDM scolds Boppo, saying "Don't screw this up", then pushing him to the outside so he may start. Sheik simply tries pushing past Octane, but he made a BIG mistake. Octane grabs his partner, kicks him, and plants him with an Empty Tank! Octane then exits the ring, grabs his Television title, and walks off! Not being dumb, BDM rushes in to pin Sheik! 1-2-3! BDM & Boppo win!
*Winners* Boppo the Clown & The Billion Dollar Man

Then, we head to the announce booth, where the guys talk up the tournament thus far:

Vance: Well, we now know the final four men in this grueling Extreme Lethal Lottery!

Dean(sarcastically): Extreme, I know how happy you must be to have The Billion Dollar Man keep advancing!

Extreme(smiling): Haha. Very funny Dean. But to me, the biggest surprise is that Boppo the Clown had made it as far as he did. Not to sell him short, but I never expected to see him in the final four. It goes to show you, with the right motivation, and some luck, just look at who his partners have been, anyone can win. I'm happy that Boppo is getting the chance to really show us what he's made of.

Vance: Indeed, Extreme. Now, let's take you backstage where Angelica Summers is standing by, ready to draw the FINAL round of tag competition for the Extreme Lethal Lottery, Angelica?

We cut backstage, where the lottery tumbler is wheeled into place, and Angelica stands ready to pick the matches:

Angelica: It is now time to draw the last match of tag action in this Extreme Lethal Lottery tournament, the winning team will then go on to face each other for the big one, the SWF World title at Spring Stampede! Also, as a reminder, after the conclusion of tonight's main event, all the other SWF wrestlers not advancing to the title match will have their names placed into another drawing, to determine all the other SWF title matches for Spring Stampede! Ok, now let's draw the fourth round match!

Angelica draws two names, and looks at them before announcing who they are:

Angelica: It looks like an old team will be reuniting, former friends JuJu & Boppo, also briefly known as No Laughing Matter, will be paired together! That only leaves The Billion Dollar Man & Quow Ling, so those two will be teaming tonight! We now go back to ringside for some non-tournament action!

Tripp vs Repo
Tripp comes out, and awaits Repo, when the Rougeau Brothers theme hits! Oh no. Out comes Repo, in full Rougeau gear (blue tights, yellow kneepads, and a jacket with the French Canadian symbol on it), singing the theme song, "All American Boys", while waving a mini American flag. For those who don't know, they were a WWF tag team back in the 80's who were French-Canadian, but moved to America, pissing people off by claiming to be "All American Boys", and they came out to a kick ass theme by the same name. Repo prances around the ring a bit, then Tripp attacks, knocking the little flag right out of his hands, then he tears the jacket off of him as the music cuts off. Tripp starts stomping Repo, then THE BREAKFAST CLUB THEME HITS?! All of the sudden, 5 people, two girls, and three guys all run out, looking like dead ringers for the cast of the Breakfast Club, right down to the clothes from the movie! They swarm the ring, and begin to beat up Tripp, Repo, & the referee! As the music plays, these people continue their assault, then another person runs to the ring, obviously supposed to be Principal Richard Vernon, who the Breakfast Club kids run at the sight of. The principal gives chase, and they all run off through the crowd. The bell is finally rung, and the befuddled announcer declarers it a no contest.
*No Contest*

We head back to the announce booth, where the three men look stunned, but amused, Extreme then begins to speak, which is also going out to the live fans:

Extreme(chuckling): I'm sorry fans, Vance, Dean, I have to take the blame for this one. You see there is an influx of new talent soon to be arriving to the SWF, and I told them to make themselves stand out, maybe use a movie or TV show as a reference. I guess they took my advice, and chose The Breakfast Club as an example for characters. And, those 6 you just saw aren't the only new talents, there is more on the way, but now (laughs) I'm kinda dreading what gimmicks they came up with. I guess we can dub that group the Breakfast Club, and (amused) the principle, let's not forget him.

Vance(mockingly upset): Well thank you Extreme. Look what you started.

The three men share a laugh before Dean speaks:

Dean(stifling laughter): On a much more serious note, it is now time for the final round of the Extreme Lethal Lottery tag matches!

SWF Extreme Lethal Lottery, Final Round: JuJu & Boppo the Clown (No Laughing Matter) vs Quow Ling & The Billion Dollar Man
It should be noted that the teams are the polar opposites of these mens' round 2 teams. JuJu & Boppo seem to make amends as they enter, ending any kind of bad blood between them. BDM just enters, and eyes his partner suspiciously as they walk to the ring, unsure if he can trust a man who has feuded with his Cash Inc buddies. JuJu asks nicely to start, to which Boppo obliges, and BDM goes to ask, but figures what's the point, and allows his partner to do the honors, looking a bit annoyed. Quow keeps JuJu at bay with some kicks, but finally, JuJu rushes in with a flying clothesline! JuJu then picks up Quow, tosses him into his corner, and beats away on him before tagging out. Boppo picks up where JuJu left off, and rushes in with an avalanche, crushing Quow! BDM then comes in, and begins to beat on Boppo before the ref forces him out. BDM's help worked, as Quow is able to get to him, and tag out. The guys in the announce booth comment on the teamwork of both teams thus far. BDM continues what he started with Boppo when he enters, beating him down before setting up of the Billion Dollar Bomb! As to be expected, JuJu runs in to prevent the move, with a clothesline or something, but BDM ducks down, and Quow Ling is there behind to score the Death Kick on JuJu right over BDM's head! This allows BDM to complete the move on Boppo, then pin him, 1-2-3! BDM & Quow will now face each other for the SWF title at Spring Stampede!
*Winners* Quow Ling & The Billion Dollar Man

Post Match: BDM & Quow stare at each other briefly, knowing they are now enemies, competing for the same prize at Spring Stampede. The two then walk off, going their separate ways, all the while making sure they aren't sneak attacked by the other. Meanwhile, in the ring, Boppo goes to help up JuJu, and then apologizes, but JuJu hits him with the JuJu Driver! The crowd boos as the angry JuJu walks off, leaving Boppo out cold in the ring. So much for that team reforming.

We go back once again to the announce booth, and they kick it to Angelica, who is standing by to do the title match drawings for Spring Stampede:

Angelica: Ok, we are now about to draw the title matches for Spring Stampede! We will obviously not be drawing for the SWF World title match, and also not for a SWF Tag Team title match, since tag champ Quow Ling is involved in the World title match. Quow's partner, The Shadow however is eligible to participate in the other title matches. We will start by drawing for the SWF 6 Man title match, and here to help me do so are the 6 Man champs themselves, Sex Connection & Silkky Smooth (out come the team). They have something they'd like to announce, so here's Randy Mann!

Randy: Thanks, Angelica. On behalf of myself, and Beef Macho here, Silkky, we would like to welcome you as a full-fledged member of Sex Connection!

Silkky(shakes Randy & Beef's hands): Thanks guys! Now, what do you say we see who we will beat in our first match as a real team!

The men draw, and the match type is a LADDER match! A 6 man ladder match! Then they draw their opponents, Crazy Phil, Mike Suicide, & Tex Gentry!

We then move on to the Hardcore title match drawing. Champ Jack Suicide draws a STEEL CAGE match! His opponent is....The Janitor!

Next is the drawing for the SWF Television title match. Champ Octane draws a Four Way Dance! That is Elimination rules, and his three opponents are....Joe Money, Disco Danny, & Captain Fantastic!

Finally, the drawing for the SWF United States title match. Champ The Freedom Fighter draws an I QUIT MATCH! His opponent is....Petey Pizzazz!

So, here is the rundown of the Spring Stampede card:

For the vacant SWF World title- BDM vs Quow Ling

I Quit Match for the SWF U.S. title- Freedom Fighter vs Petey Pizzazz

Four Way Dance for the SWF TV title- Octane vs Joe Money vs Disco Danny vs Captain Fantastic

SWF 6 Man title Ladder match- Sex Connection vs Crazy Phil, Mike Suicide, & Tex Gentry

SWF Hardcore title Steel Cage Match- Jack Suicide vs The Janitor

See you for Spring Stampede!

END OF SHOW