SWF Main Event 12/6/03
SWF Main Event 12/6/03

Vance: Welcome one and all to SWF Main Event!

Dean: And you won't regret tuning in this week, as we have some big stuff lined up for tonight! Just look at this:

Julio Maniaco vs The Don

The SWF Tag Titles will be on the line as The Black Dragons Defend against X & Tripp!

Newcomer Tex Gentry faces Boppo The Clown!

Charles Gunn Debuts alongside his friend Rory Rogers vs Disco Danny and Jimmy Jam of Generation Gap!

The Freedom Fighter defends his U.S. title against Tony Ramon!

The Mercenary will be on Petey's Parlor!

And...Extreme Superstar has just informed us that has another match up his sleeve for the Main Event, which he will reveal later on!

Vance: It's a packed card tonight, so let's get it goin'!

Julio Maniaco vs The Don
The Don seems amused by his opponent's colorful attire, and approaches him, and ridicules his look. Maniaco responds by slapping him across the face! The Don wasn't too pleased by that, and rears back for a hard right hand, but Julio is too fast, ducking the shot, and coming off the ropes with a dropkick. Julio runs off the ropes again and does a somersault splash on his downed opponent. He goes for the cover, but only gets two, and Don gets up, knocking Julio down with a hard clothesline. Don continues by stomping Julio, but Julio fights his way up by using some forearm shots to the gut, and when he does make it to his feet, he comes off the ropes again, this time with a unique flying front kick. The kick takes Don down, but he is quick to recover, and charges Julio, only to have Julio sidestep him and get behinds him, locking him in a full nelson. Instead of a traditional version of the move, Julio immediately sweeps Don's feet, and jumps forward into a sitting position, making it a full nelson front slam. Julio rolls Don over, and heads to the top rope, where he comes off with a sky twister press! That move got the crowd going. Julio stays on Don for the three count.
*Winner* Julio Maniaco

We go to footage of Faith and Devotion arriving at the State Athletic Commission for their meeting. The two seem positive that the commission will see things their way.

Tex Gentry vs Boppo The Clown
Tex grabs the mic and says how upset he is that the man he beat last week, Tripp gets a tag title match tonight, and he's wrestling a clown. Boppo takes offense and attacks as the bell rings. Tex fights back, and kicks Boppo below the belt, and jumps on his back for a sleeper hold, but Boppo runs back-first into the corner, crushing Tex in the middle. Boppo goes to the other side of the ring and begins to run full tilt at Tex, looking for an avalanche splash. As he is running , Tex is working on undoing the turnbuckle pad, exposing the steel underneath. Just as Boppo is about to connect with his splash, Tex manages to remove the turnbuckle pad and duck out of the way, and Boppo goes face-first into the exposed steel! As Boppo falls, Tex reaches up to secure a roll up, and puts his feet on the ropes for the three count, what a cheat!
*Winner* Tex Gentry

Post Match: Tex runs off as Boppo tries telling the ref of Tex's feet on the ropes, and shows him the exposed turnbuckle, but the ref didn't see it as it happened, so the decision stands.

We see earlier footage of X asking if there was any title spots open for tonight's show, Extreme says that if he finds a partner he can have a tag title shot, but informs him that the other members of Generation Gap are already booked for the show. X then rushes off and finds Tripp, who he makes mention of as a friend of his. X tells Tripp he needs a tag partner for a title shot, and Tripp agrees to team with him.


SWF Tag Title Match - The Black Dragons vs X & Tripp
The Dragons seem a little upset tonight, which probably stems from their recent feud with Cash Inc's Jaffe and Joe Money. Shadow starts and just about kills Tripp, taking out whatever anger he has on the poor guy. Shadow nails the Flying Wizard, and as X comes in to save, Quow Ling meets him with a Death Kick, and Shadow is able to pick up the win. The Dragons really made short work of that team, and are quickly establishing themselves as quite the cohesive unit.
*Winners and STILL SWF Tag Team Champions* The Black Dragons

We head backstage as a very chipper Extreme Superstar enters Cash Inc's dressing room, where all three members are sitting around watching the show. Extreme says that he has some exciting news for Jaffe and Joe, they will get another chance at the Dragons' titles at Starrcade, IF they win a # 1 contender's match for the tonight! The two ask for their opponents and Extreme says it's the Suicide Brothers! After that, Extreme's mood changes, and he addresses The Billion Dollar Man, who was sitting in the back not saying anything. Extreme gets in his face and tells him that he doesn't like the way he defends his title, and he's going to be keeping an eye on him. BDM just looks smugly at him, saying that the referee hasn't seen anything fishy, and until he does, he's still the champion, and Extreme can't do anything about it. The two men have an intense stare down, and Extreme says at Starrcade BDM will not be able to have his friends help him, as he will be locked in a steel cage with Silkky Smooth! BDM is livid, and goes on a tirade about how he already beat him, but Extreme says he was cheated and deserves a rematch. Extreme then leaves with a smile as BDM has a tantrum.

Next, we go to Petey's Parlor, where The Great JuJu is lurking in the background, as Octane used to do.

Petey(in a good mood): Hello people! Welcome to Petey's Parlor! As you may notice, my mood is quite different than it was last week, when I was informed that I'd face Octane at Starrcade. However, I have it on good authority, that the beating he took last week was worse than originally thought, meaning that match might not even happen! Another thing you may notice is that the man who helped me last week, The Great JuJu, is here, he may not be this week's guest, but after he helped me, he earned my friendship. Also, next week I will unveil a NEW and improved JuJu to the world, because now that he's found his TRUE identity, he needs a new look. Ok, onto my guest, he's a South African strongman who has something important he'd like to say, to please welcome, The Mercenary!(The Mercenary makes his way on set and grabs the mic)

Mercenary(in an angry, growling voice): I'm gonna cut right to the point! Captain Fantastic, I put you out of action, but obviously I didn't finish you off, but I'm going to. Your supposed to be back next week? Then answer my challenge, that's right, me and you, for the Television title at Starrcade! If you don't want to ever come back, you could just forfeit the belt to me, but what fun would that be? If you AREN'T here next week, I'm gonna hunt you down, and rip the title right from the clutches of your mangled body! It's your choice, but the belt WILL be mine, and I WILL finish you off once and for all! (drops the mic and leaves)

Petey(talking to the camera, seemingly at Captain Fantastic): Woah. He's pretty serious Fantastic. If you'd like though, next week, if are here, I'd be more than happy to have you on the Parlor the respond to what was just said. Gimme a call, we'll set it up. Well, that does it for this week, join me next week when I reveal the NEW JuJu, and POSSIBLY wink, wink, have Captain Fantastic's response to The Mercenary's challenge. Goodbye everyone!

Backstage, Extreme approaches newcomer Charles Gunn and Rory Rogers, he says that since there has already been one tag match, and another is planned for the main event, a third would be too much. He says that he's going to add an extra man to each team. They are allowed to choose their partner (the other team is said to have already made their choice), but before they can, Tex Gentry shows up?! He says that since his match was rather short, he wouldn't mind teaming with Rory and Charles, as he is always down to help some fellow "Good Ol' Boys". He then begins a tirade on how Generation Gap's affinity for their various decade-themed music, is a slap in the face to any self respecting country boy. Extreme just rolls his eyes and says "Whatever, if they want you on their team, it's fine by me". Tex's words seem to have gotten to Rory and Charles, as they accept him as a partner. Danny and Jimmy show up, and say that their partner is Repo, who is said to have a surprise for them!

6 Man Tag Match-The Good Ol' Boys (Tex, Rory, & Charles) vs Generation Gap (Disco Danny and Jimmy Jam) & Repo
I figured I'd use Tex's line to name the team. As per usual, Repo is nowhere to be found, preparing for his grand entrance no doubt. And yes indeed, as the other five participants wait in the ring , Hillbilly Jim's theme hits and Repo comes out in overalls, a hat (like Hillbilly Jim wore), and a jug , presumably of moonshine! He dances a festive jig as he enters the ring , but the Good Ol' Boys take offense and attack. The six brawl, until it spills outside, leaving Tex and Repo in the ring. Repo begins to come back, but Tex bails and has a meeting with his team, and what he says seems to bother them at first, but they eventually nod in agreement. Tex returns to the ring , instantly tags Charles in, and gives Rory some kind of signal as he exits the ring. Upon seeing the signal, Rory jumps off the apron, and rushes over to Danny and Jimmy and begins to brawl with them. The ref obviously is distracted, and as he tries to control that, Tex tosses the moonshine jug to Charles, who then blasts Repo with it! Tex then runs over to help Rory fight off Jimmy and Danny, then they return to their corner, allowing the ref to return his focus to the match. As he does, the only thing he sees is Charles using the Gunnslinger for the 1-2-3. I didn't expect such actions from Rory, but Tex seems to have convinced him and the new Charles Gunn into them, he's quite the smooth talker.
*Winners* The Good Ol' Boys

Post Match: Rory and Charles don't seem too thrilled at first, but as Charles' music cues, and Tex tries cheering them up, they come around. The trio leave together, and Tex dances around, promising a huge party later that night.

Backstage, we see Freedom Fighter heading to the ring , but a backstage assistant stops him, and hands him an envelope. He opens it, and pulls out an Iranian flag. He looks to see if anything else is in there, and pulls out the charred remnants of an American flag , which draws many boos and angers Freedom, and he throws the envelope down and powerfully marches to the ring.

SWF U. S. Title Match-The Freedom Fighter vs Tony Ramon
Freedom awaits Tony to enter, then proceeds to beat the living crap out of him, that envelope really pissed him off. Not long after though, a man wearing a suit, and the traditional Iranian head gear runs in and begins to assault The Freedom Fighter from behind! The man is quickly identified as the newcomer Ayatollah Sheik, apparently living up to his promise to take out The Freedom Fighter. Tony opts to get out of dodge, and the ref just tosses the match out.
*No Contest* The Freedom Fighter retains his title

Post Match: Sheik continues his assault, and then stops to grab the mic. He demands that Freedom face him, for the title at Starrcade, Freedom is really beat up, but Sheik persists, shoving the mic in his face and slapping him around. Freedom manages to recover enough to give Sheik a hard shot to the gut, and grab the mic, he accepts the challenge!

Main Event: # 1 Contender's Match for the SWF Tag Team Titles- Cash Inc vs The Suicide Brothers
Nobody even gets to enter, the camera goes behind the curtain to show all four men fighting! They brawl to the ring and continue fighting , but as has become normal with these teams, it is hard for a ref to control them so he can start the match. The ref looks flustered, and is growing tired of dealing with all the mayhem, so he just tosses his hands up in the air and leaves! Extreme comes out and says that this can't continue happening , and it should get settle at Starrcade, so both teams will face the Dragons! As soon as this is said, The Dragons run into the fray and now all three teams are going at it! Extreme shakes his head and walks off as we fade out

END OF SHOW

Dreams
I don't know about anyone else, but I have some interesting dreams. My dreams can be really cool, with a movie-like feel, or just plain weird. I don't pretend to know the significance of dreams, but I do find the topic interesting. So, from time to time, if I have any that stick out especially, I'll post them here. To start, I'll give a little info on what my dreams are usually like. Mostly, they are about one of two things, wrestling, or something I watched recently. And, for as long as I can remember, I've been invincible, and always come out on top of any situation in them as well, I don't really know what that's all about but it's the only constant. I've been up against impossible odds, but still ended up ok, it's really odd. I've done stuff like, killing a HUGE Great White Shark with my bare hands, and fought endless amounts of villains, while being faced with multiple plot twists and turns, some that don't even make sense, only to save the day at the end. But the one dream that really stands out, is one a few years ago, where I was in some sort of war in the jungle. I was all Rambo, stalking my enemy through the forest, popping out of the water and shooting about 15 dudes dead with perfect aim, before they even saw me, all that. But, then, suddenly as I lead, what seemed to be my squad through the jungle, we entered a clearing, and it was as if the jungle just disappeared. And, what awaited us, about 600 enemy troops! They were completely covering the whole landscape, and they opened fire, killing all my troops, then turned to me, who, even in the dream, knew of my invincibility powers. So, I confidently raised my gun, ready to get revenge. When I pulled the trigger, all I heard was "click". I WAS OUT OF AMMO! At this point, I was like a third party, just viewing myself (that happens in some of my dreams too), and I saw a look of fear on my face. The near enemies smiled before opening fire, and they absolutely tore me up with bullets, and I went down! I lost! No, wait, the clouds began moving rapidly, and the sky turned red as some weird orchestra music eerily reminiscent of The Undertaker's "Graveyard Symphony" started playing. All the soldiers stopped, and stared at the sky in awe, and my body began to rise, but wearing all black, and I hovered above them all, before giving a speech. I obviously don't remember what I said, but it was in some deep voice, like someone put my voice through one of those voice changers, and I basically told them they were all screwed, because I was gonna kill them all. After that, I came back to the ground, and started ripping through the masses of soldiers, BY HAND! When it was over, I stood victorious, before the music cued up again, and I rose back into the sky, and out of sight. See, that's the sort of stuff in store for me when I go to sleep, and let's not get into the REALLY freaky stuff, that could make seriously messed up horror flicks.

My Wrestlemania 20 Dream Card
With what could possibly be the greatest spectacle in wrestling history, Wrestlemania 20, mere months away, and the hype as to who will be there picking up, I decided to make my fantasy lineup. All of the matches mentioned could conceivably happen, and the rumor mill has sparked my interest in seeing some of these as well. I've also come up with a theme, "the past comes alive", where those who were instrumental in early Wrestlemania success, face the stars of today, and of the future. There are a total of 11 matches, but hey, it's the 20th anniversary, so why not go 5 or so hours? I will include a description as to what I'd have happen, not only in the match, but how it would come about. Oh, and yes, I didn't give The Rock a match, so what? That punk says how much he loves WWE and all, but needs "something special" to actually come back and wrestle, what a load of crap! Go screw yourself Rocky.

Wrestlemania 20: My Dream Card

Main Event: Hulk Hogan vs Stone Cold Steve Austin- I really don't HAVE to go into more detail here, as the very idea of the match would bring on hype like no match before. To set this up though, I'd have some sort of Wrestlemania hype going on, live, on Raw, with Vince McMahon announcing the other matches, and while addressing appearances of those who helped build the event, or just talking about how big the show will be. THEN, out of nowhere Real American hits, and Hulk F'N Hogan marches to the ring , clad in the red and yellow. Hulk would grab the mic, and when Vince inquires angrily as to why he's there, Hulk will say, that it's not about him, but Wrestlemania, the show HE helped build. Hulk would go on to say how he couldn't bear the thought of missing out on the prestigious event, and that he made a promise to himself, that before he hung up the red and yellow, for good, he'd lock horns with the one man he always wanted to, but never got the chance to, STEVE AUSTIN! From there, Austin would come out, and all you'd have to do from there is play up the fact that they are the two top wrestlers in the history of the business, it practically writes itself. As for the result, I'd have Hulk win if he was really going to retire, but if Austin decides this is his last match (he is already unofficially retired, but is hoping for a `Mania match), then I'd have it be a draw. The reason for a draw would be to have them give it their all, and go through all their trademark stuff, but not have Hulk lose (I may be a die hard Hogan fan, but the man DESERVES to win at HIS F'N show). In the result of a draw, both men could commend each other, and raise each other's hands, which would serve as a link to the two major eras in wrestling , and provide an emotional moment that would be remembered for years.

Kurt Angle vs Bret Hart- This is a match that has been hyped recently as a possible match, and fans everywhere would probably stab their grandmothers to see it. Weeks (a few months even) before the show, I'd have Kurt talk about how for Wrestlemania, he's scoured the globe for the perfect opponent, one who could live up to his standards. Finally, Kurt would announce Bret as that man. In terms of who wins, I see no other way for it to end than Bret locking the Sharpshooter on, and making Kurt tap. Kurt, while with his neck problems, probably has another two years or more left, but this would serve as Bret's last match, and proper goodbye. Afterwards, of course Bret would get the proper sendoff, and say his goodbyes and soak up the accolades he so richly deserves.

Ric Flair vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat- This is another rumored match that many (obviously, myself included) would love to see. I'd have Flair's Evolution buddy, Randy Orton continue his "Legend Killer" gimmick, by squashing legends, and challenge a random legend, at which point, The Dragon shows up. Ricky would come in, hand Orton his ass, but Flair (who'd be shocked to see his old nemesis come out of retirement for this), would intervene for the DQ, and would begin to lay a whuppin on Ricky. Ricky would then demand to face Flair one last time at Wrestlemania! I'd give Ricky the win, as like Bret, it would serve as his last match, and Flair, while getting older, will probably wrestle a while longer, and possibly have a whole event based on his retirement.

The Undertaker vs Kane- Well, the wheels are already in motion, so I guess no real story has to be made. As long as `Taker shows up as "Darkside `Taker", and wins with the Tombstone, I'm cool.

Chris Jericho vs Roddy Piper- These two had a mini-feud going during Piper's last run this past year, but were on separate shows. I'd have Piper come back, and play up that Jericho is a "Piper Wannabe". Jericho would probably be the better choice here, but if it served to be his last match, Piper, I feel, has earned the right to go out on top.

Randy Savage vs John Cena- With both of these guys into the rap music scene now, that's a built in story. Savage doesn't get along with Vince McMahon too well, and if he were to show up, he'd job to Cena. Personally, I'd give Randy the win, because he deserves that last big win (like the other legends), and Cena had plenty of years left to make up for one little loss.

Shawn Michaels vs RVD- Both deserve to be on the card, and after their Raw match months ago ended without a real winner, this might be interesting. As for the winner, I would say Michaels, as WWE seems to hate RVD, and I'd pick him too.

Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg- I hate both guys, but it's practically set to happen. Brock would win, in my version, and WWE will let him since Goldberg will probably be gone after the show anyways.

Tag Team Gauntlet where all the top teams are involved- Yeah, a lot of guys were missing , so toss them in teams, and put the tag titles on the line. I'd have surprise legend teams, Edge and Christian re-teaming , and the Hardy Boyz involved, to keep with the theme, and novelty of it. As for who wins, I don't know, the Hardy Boyz.

Some sort of women's match, with today's ladies & Fabulous Moolah or Wendi Ritcher involved- Wendi just about dropped out of sight, so her showing up, after having been in the first ladies match at Wrestlemania 1, and despite harsh feelings with the company, would be cool. Moolah is THE women's wrestling legend, so she would probably be involved. I'd let Molly or Victoria win though.

HHH vs Mick Foley- Foley made his surprise return just hours ago, and he is rumored to face HHH, so there you go. HHH will have an iron grasp on WWE as long as he's married to Stephanie, so he could recover if Foley won this.

SWF Main Event 11/29/03
SWF MAIN EVENT 11/29/03

Vance: Welcome to SWF Main Event! Tonight promises to be a HUGE night of action!

Dean: Your not kidding Vance, just look at what's on tap:

Julio Maniaco Debuts vs X!

Octane vs The Great JuJu!

Tex Gentry Debuts vs Tripp!

A Hardcore Tag Match pitting Crazy Phil & The Janitor vs Faith & Devotion!

Jack Suicide/Black Dragons vs Cash Inc. & The Mercenary!

Extreme Superstar is set to make a huge announcement on Petey's Parlor!

And, in the Main Event: The young Mike Suicide gets a World Title shot vs The Billion Dollar Man!

Vance: With all that lined up, we better get started!

Julio Maniaco vs X
Julio is dressed in some sort of outrageously bright clothes, which cover him from head to toe, his mask being a colorful lucha libre style one with a black netted face and neon strands coming from off the top, almost like hair. His demeanor doesn't match his look however, he moves in a slow, meticulous manner, before suddenly rushing his opponent, leveling X with a beautiful flying forearm. Julio decides to stalk rather than capitalize on his downed prey, he waits for him to recover, then runs at X from behind, flipping over him for a neckbreaker of sorts. With X down, Julio ascends the top rope, and comes off from a good distance with a flying headbutt. Instead of going for the pin, Julio lifts the dazed X up, and hits the stunning Mexican Conquest for the pin. That was a deeply impressive debut by the mystery man, showing why he is so acclaimed.
*Winner* Julio Maniaco

Backstage, Petey Pizzazz is seen asking around for The Great JuJu. He finally finds him, and pulls him aside, and the two go talk in private in the dressing room. What was that about?

Octane vs The Great JuJu
JuJu starts off, a little more aggressive than usual, and his blows actually seem to be rocking the big man. Petey Pizzazz soon saunters down the aisle, and stands at ringside, cheering on JuJu. Octane sees Petey, which enrages him, and he begins to fight back, leveling JuJu, then exiting the ring to confront Petey. The referee interjects himself, trying to coax Octane back to the ring , and when told to leave the ring area, Petey presents a card, which the ref examines and allows him to stay! That must be a manager's license! Octane is fuming , and the recovering JuJu is the only thing saving Petey from a beating , as he attacks from behind and tosses Octane back inside. After some more punishment, JuJu looks to his bag of voodoo items, but Petey advises against using it, and JuJu obliges. JuJu opts for attempting the JuJu Driver, but Octane is not to be denied, fighting out of it, then whipping JuJu off the ropes, then scoring with a big boot. Octane then rolls outside, floors Petey with a punch, re-enters, and nails the Empty Tank for the win. JuJu really gave it all he had there, giving the usually dominant Octane a run for his money, if he continues to be aggressive like that, he might become a force to be reckon with.
*Winner* Octane

Post Match: Octane exits the ring , but Petey (who played dead outside) Suddenly leapt up and jumped him from behind! He gets in one good shot, drawing his attention, then running to the back, with Octane close behind. They end up in the parking lot, as Petey tries to find his car and leave. Octane catches up with him, and begins to pummel him, but The Great JuJu makes the save, and just beats the stuffing out of Octane, and Petey soon joins in. The two men then leave together, leaving Octane down and out for the first time in his career. The medical crew has to take Octane out on a stretcher, which is a sight most never thought they'd see.

We go to a clip of Tex Gentry at some record label, where he points to gold and platinum albums on the wall, promising that he will someday have those on his wall, and he will get them via the exposure of the SWF.

Tex Gentry vs Tripp
Tripp stands waiting in the ring , and the lights begin to flash, and Tex Gentry struts to the ring , wearing a gaudy country western-style getup, which is completely adorned in lights (even the hat, shades, and boots!). Tripp looks disgusted by this lavish display, and grabs the mic, and addressees the crowd as Tex removes the extravagant lights and such from his gear. Tripp tries to extol the virtues of rock and roll, and express his hatred for country music. Gentry, having heard enough, takes the large battery that was used to power the lights on his suit and clocks Tripp with it, the ref is powerless as the match hadn't even officially started. Tex continues stomping away, as the bell finally rings, at which point he climbs the top rope and comes off with his Tennessee Jam finisher.
*Winner* Tex Gentry

Post Match: Tex continues to strut amidst the boos of the crowd, and he asks that the sound guys cue the lights and turn up his theme a little louder, which really gets under the crowd's skin.

Backstage, Crazy Phil finds The Janitor, thanking for last week, and wants to discuss their plans for their match tonight. The Janitor jumps up with his mop, and says they should go find Faith and Devotion RIGHT NOW for the match. Janitor calls out for a ref, and when one comes, they set out in search of their scheduled opponents.

Hardcore Tag Match-Crazy Phil & The Janitor vs Faith & Devotion
Phil and Janitor scour the backstage area, and finally locate F&D in the cafeteria, and attack the unsuspecting duo, who were sitting and enjoying a beverage. Janitor uses the mop, beating Reverend relentlessly until Reverend cowers under a table. Meanwhile, Phil has Xavier on a table of food, where he pounds away on him. The Janitor goes after Reverend, who scurries around on the floor, as The Janitor jabs him out from hiding under the table. Nearby, where Phil is battling with Xavier, Phil is struck by a metal serving tray that the desperate Xavier was able to grab. Xavier continues the use of the tray, which, after a few shots to the head, takes Phil down long enough for him to get the pin.
*Winners* Faith and Devotion

Post Match: The Reverend continues to elude The Janitor, and Xavier comes to his partner's aide, this time, shattering a glass coffee pot (thankfully empty) on Janitor's head! F&D gather their wits and begin to make their way to ringside, where as they are overheard saying, they plan on addressing the crowd.

F&D grab mics from the crew just behind the curtain, and begin to speak to the crowd. They say their quest to banish the Hardcore Title is almost complete, and they have a meeting with the State Athletic Commission next week!

We Head Backstage as Jack Suicide finds his brother Mike, sitting alone in the bowels of the building , deep in concentration due to his big title match later tonight. Jack sits with him, and pumps him up with words of encouragement, telling him how proud he is of him even getting this title shot, and tonight, he wants him to walk out of the ring, the new champion of the world.

The Announcers inform us that Captain Fantastic is still hurt after Mercenary's attack on the 15th, but is to be medically cleared by the Dec 13th show.

Jack Suicide/Black Dragons vs Cash Inc. & The Mercenary
Jack and his partners all come down at once to Jack's music, and despite the language barrier, they seem to be getting along very well. Their opponents also come down together, to what is now said to be the official theme of Cash Inc, a rap tune named More Money by Papa Daddy, but before they can enter the ring , The Black Dragons and Jack Suicide hurl themselves in succession onto them! All six men brawl on the outside, and when the referee tries to get them to come inside to start the match, he gets floored (rather deliberately) by The Mercenary! A hoard of officials make their way down to break up the brawl, which is a repeat of the scene in last week's main event. Extreme even comes down to help get things back in control, and help the ref get up, when the ref does recover, he simply calls for the bell.
*Double DQ*

Post Match: Cash Inc exchange words with Extreme, and Extreme promises to sort the whole situation out next week. Extreme then walks off to the set of Petey's Parlor where he is set to be interviewed.

Extreme makes his way to the Parlor, and Petey isn't there, he asks where he is to a production guy, and Petey comes running out, and we start the interview.

Petey(a little winded): I'm sorry, Me and JuJu had to take off earlier, and then I realized I had a show to do, so I rushed back.

Extreme: Yeah, I saw what you did to Octane, which gives me an idea. If you want to hurt him so bad, why not do it in a match... So, that's just what your gonna get a chance to do, at the December PPV Starrcade! You vs Octane, one on one!

Petey(scared to death): C'mon, please, think about what your saying! That guy is an animal!

Extreme(shrugs): Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you jumped him. BUT on the topic of Starrcade, what I'm here to announce are the dates for the next four SWF PPV events! The aforementioned Starrcade is set for December 19th, The SWF Rumble is set for January 16th, No Escape will be on Febuary13th, and the big one, Extrememania, is set for March 26th, and Extrememania will not take place here in the SWF Arena, but right down the road, where many of you fans might have seen a giant building being built. That is actually the all-new SWF Superdome! The SWF Superdome will be a top of the line facility, capable of holding around 80,000 people! The structure will also have a retractable roof, and after the debut Extrememania show, I hope to have many more SWF events there! All of these PPVs be on Fridays, so mark your calenders folks! Also, before I go, to address the wild brawl that just took place, I'm gonna tell you like I told them, next week, I will have something set up to settle some of those issues. Thanks for everything Petey! (Slaps a still very worried Petey on the back before he leaves)

Petey(upset): Ok. That does it here, I guess we're done, that does it for me (under his breath) literally. Back to ringside for the Main Event.

Main Event: SWF World Title Match- The Billion Dollar Man vs Mike Suicide
Mike goes on the offensive from the start, coming at BDM with all he has. Once he knocks BDM down, Mike takes to the air to dazzle his opponent. BDM, much like last week, is overwhelmed by this style of attack, so he exits the ring. And, just as happened last week against Mike's brother Jack, BDM isn't given the chance to recover, as Mike baseball slides him, the impact of which knocks him to the concrete floor. Mike soaks up the adulation of the crowd and allows BDM to get back in the ring , as he doesn't want to win by countout. BDM still can't get anything going , and the other members of Cash Inc begin to make their way to the ring , but Extreme cuts them off and forces them to the back! Cash Inc protest, and they almost get into a physical confrontation with Extreme, but officials drag them off before anything can happen. Back inside, the distraction allows for BDM to reach in his tights and use a foreign object on Mike. Whatever it was knocked him out cold, and BDM slyly conceals the object before the ref can see, and applies his patented Billion Dollar Dream sleeper hold, making the whole thing look like Mike was out because of that! The scheme works, as Mike's hand falls the required three times, allowing BDM to retain his title.
*Winner and STILL SWF World Champion* The Billion Dollar Man

Post Match: Jack Suicide comes out to help his brother, and BDM hightails it before he can be harmed.

END OF SHOW

SWF Main Event 11/15/03
SWF Main Event 11/15/03

Vance: Welcome to SWF Main Event, just one night removed from the spectacular Soul Survivor PPV that saw The Suicide Brothers win The Ultimate Survival Match!

Dean: Here's what scheduled for tonight:

6 Man Tag-Captain Fantastic, The Freedom Fighter, Silkky Smooth vs Cash Inc (Jaffe and Joe) & The Mercenary

SWF Tag Team Titles- The Black Dragons vs Beef Macho/Randy Mann

Octane vs Yeti

SWF Hardcore Title- Crazy Phil vs Xavier Hawthorne III

Petey's Parlor With Mike Suicide

THIS JUST IN!: Jack Suicide has decided to use his title shot that he won last night to face The Billion Dollar Man for the World title, TONIGHT!

Vance: WOW! With all that action, we'd better get right into it!

6 Man Tag-Captain Fantastic, The Freedom Fighter, Silkky Smooth vs Cash Inc (Jaffe and Joe) & The Mercenary
Captain Fantastic starts thing off against Jaffe, but Jaffe soon tags in Mercenary, who picks apart Fantastic, who he has had some issues with since day one. Fantastic fights back, and makes the tag to Freedom, who gains the upper hand on Mercenary, but is then overpowered by him, as The Mercenary is seemingly on a tear as of late. Freedom does recover however, and Mercenary wisely tags in Joe Money. Joe puts on the pressure, forcing Freedom to tag Silkky, who is a house of fire upon is entrance. That fire is soon extinguished, as Joe tags Mercenary back in, and he pulverizes Silkky, at least until Silkky gets his wits about him, turns the tables, and eventually tags to Fantastic to possibly put the match away. But, as Fantastic enters, Cash Inc jump off the apron, and go attack Silkky and Freedom, providing a timely distraction for Mercenary. As Fantastic, and the ref look to the fray on the outside, The Mercenary pulls out some brass knuckles, and Kos Fantastic, and the ref turns around just in time to count the 1-2-3.
*Winners* Cash Inc & The Mercenary

Post Match: Fantastic seems really hurt after that shot with the knux, and The Mercenary continues to pummel him, making him bleed, and beating him, taking him outside, (where Freedom and Silkky are still fighting with Cash Inc) and picks up the steel steps, and heaves them onto him! Fantastic is really hurt now! The Mercenary walks off, satisfied as EMTS rush in to help Captain Fantastic.

Backstage, Randy Mann and Beef Macho decide to call their team "The Sex Connection", which is also the name of their porn production company.

SWF Tag Team Titles- The Black Dragons vs The Sex Connection
Quow starts against Beef, and Beef shows some pretty decent power and brawling. Seeing Quow being overpowered, Shadow tags himself in, and overtakes Beef with a flurry of kicks. Randy then tags in, swinging the momentum back to The Sex Connection. Quow then tags back in, turning the tables once again, using aerial tactics to wear down Randy. With Randy in trouble, Beef rushes in, and catches Quow with a Beefy Bomb as he comes off the ropes! Shadow follows suit, coming to the aid of Quow, first assaulting Beef, and then breaking up an attempted pin by Randy on Quow. The ref tries to resume control, but all four men end up brawling in the ring , and Shadow disposes of Beef, then flies across the ring to hit the Shining Wizard on Randy! The still woozy Quow manages to cover Randy for the pin.
*Winners and STILL SWF Tag Team Champions* The Black Dragons

We go to Petey for Petey's Parlor:

Petey: Hello one, and all! Welcome to Petey's Parlor! This week our guest is Mike Suicide! (Mike Suicide makes his way on set as his music plays)

Petey: So, Mike, last night, you shocked the whole world by winning the Ultimate Survival Match along side your brother Jack. Not only that, but your also $100,000 richer, and possess the opportunity to challenge for any title you wish, how does that make you feel?

Mike: I'm ecstatic, but I'll admit, tired as well, winning last night wasn't easy.

Petey: I also must ask, how do you feel about your brother using his title shot tonight, challenging for the World championship?

Mike: I'm happy for him, and wish him the best of luck, but that brings me to the reason I'm here tonight. While I hope Jack wins, next week, whoever holds the title will be facing me!

Petey(shocked): What a bombshell! So Mike, you have no qualms about possibly facing your own brother for the title?

Mike: No, he knows just how much being World champ means to me, and I know what it means to him, we made it clear to each other that nothing will stand in our way to make our dreams a reality.

Petey: Well, good luck to you next week. That'll do it for this week my guest will be the one and only, EXTREME SUPERSTAR!

Octane vs Yeti
Octane wastes no time in rushing right at Yeti, getting inside with knee lifts and punches, which drops the giant Yeti to his knees! Just as Octane has everything in control, Petey Pizzazz runs in! Octane simply blasts the intruder with a hard right hand, sending Petey to the outside floor. Yeti uses the distraction to fight back, but is cut off by Octane, who whips Yeti off the ropes for a big boot. With Yeti down, Octane just stares, seemingly plotting his next move, and the crowd comes to it's feet, sensing Octane is contemplating trying the Empty Tank of Yeti. Octane picks up Yeti, and puts him into position for the Empty Tank as the crowd cheers him on, but can he do it? Octane reaches down, hoists Yeti up, and NAILS THE EMPTY TANK! Octane did it! Obviously that was enough for the pin.
*Winner* Octane

Post Match: Petey recovers on the outside, and swears revenge as he leaves.

We go to pre-taped footage of Faith and Devotion outside city hall, picketing to have then hear their case for the dismissal of the Hardcore title.


SWF Hardcore Title- Crazy Phil vs Xavier Hawthorne III
Xavier comes to the ring , carrying the title. Which has an "X" in red tape over the word "Hardcore". Before Xavier can even make it into the ring , Crazy Phil comes down, wheeling a shopping cart full of weapons right into him! Phil continues his assault by grabbing a trash can lid from the cart and beating Xavier on the floor with it! Phil quickly tires to pin him, but only gets two, and Reverend appears to blast Phil with his "Good Book", giving Xavier the quick win.
*Winner* Xavier Hawthorne III

Post Match: Xavier and Reverend drag Phil up the ramp and to the back, where they have set up some sort of pool. Reverend begins to say a prayer, and bless the water, there gonna baptize Crazy Phil! Before they can succeed, The Janitor comes in, saving Phil, who thanks Janitor for his good deed. Faith and Devotion run off as Janitor screams obscenities at them.

Backstage, Mike Suicide wishes his brother luck in his title match, that's up next.

Main Event: SWF World Title Match- The Billion Dollar Man vs Jack Suicide
Jack doesn't even gives BDM a chance to take his entrance garb off, throwing himself recklessly at him, and nearly pinning him a few seconds in. BDM takes a powder to the floor, trying to recover from the beating he'd been taking , mere seconds into the match. BDM isn't given a chance though, the determined Jack flies over the top rope onto him with a corkscrew plancha! Jack continues firing away on him before tossing him back inside. BDM runs away, haven't yet been able to attack, and as Jack blindly rushes in, he finally assumes control by booting him in the gut. BDM then uses a wicked DDT, but only get two off it, and he just begins to stomp on him, obviously frustrated by his opponent's success in the match thus far. Much to BDM's chagrin, Jack recovers and takes control again, fueled by his desire to be champion, he plants BDM with a running neckbreaker and ascends to the top rope to try and finish it with the Suicide Splash. Jack hits it, but as soon as he does, Joe Money comes down to distract the ref, while he does, Jaffe enters the ring to lay out Jack with the Arabian Goodnight, and Mike Suicide comes to the rescue, nailing Jaffe with the Suicidal Twist. The ref hears all the commotion, and turns around, as he does Joe also takes notice to what's going on, and enters the ring , adding to the fray. The ref sees this all, and having lost all control, he calls for the bell
*Double DQ, BDM Retains his title*

Before we go off air, Vance reminds us that there will be no SWF broadcast next week, but they will return on the 29th.

END OF SHOW

SWF Soul Survivor
SWF Soul Survivor

Extreme: Welcome to SWF Soul Survivor! Tonight each and every SWF superstar has been randomly entered into one of three 5 on 5 elimination matches! The survivors of those matches will be re-entered into another drawing , and split into two teams for the ULTIMATE survival match! The man or men who manage to survive will be rewarded with a title shot at ANY title they choose, at any time they decide (excluding a World title shot at Extrememania, that goes to the winner of the Rumble), PLUS $100,000 cash! Let's get right to it! (Extreme and Vance settle in to their commentary positions as the lineup shows up on screen)

The Lineup:

Survivor Match 1- Rory Rogers, The Great JuJu, Quow Ling, Jahalaman Jaffe, & The Reverend, vs Silkky Smooth, The Don, Tony Ramon, Mike Suicide, & Jack Suicide

Survivor Match 2- Joe Money, Petey Pizzazz, The Billion Dollar Man, X, & The Freedom Fighter vs Xavier Hawthorne III, Crazy Phil, Octane, The Janitor, & The Mercenary

Survivor Match 3- Tripp, The Shadow, Boppo The Clown, Repo, & Yeti vs Captain Fantastic, Beef Macho, Randy Mann, Disco Danny, & Jimmy Jam

The Ultimate Survival Match!

And More!


Survivor Match 1- Rory Rogers, The Great JuJu, Quow Ling, Jahalaman Jaffe, & The Reverend, vs Silkky Smooth, The Don, Tony Ramon, Mike Suicide, & Jack Suicide
The captains (whoever is listed first for each team, in this case Rory and Silkky) start out. Rory is quickly beaten badly by Silkky, but he tags out to Reverend. Reverend enters with his bible, and opts to preach to Silkky about his morals! Silkky charges and pummels him before Reverend crawls back to his corner, but none of his teammates will tag in! Silkky continues his assault before tagging the equally big Tony Ramon. Tony picks up where his teammate left off and pounds Reverend until he tags an unsuspecting partner in Jaffe. Jaffe is upset about this, but does his job and fights. Tony Tags in Mike Suicide, who along with his brother Jack, have angered Jaffe, having beaten him and his Cash Inc buddy Joe Money in tag title matches. With that in his mind, Jaffe takes apart the eldest Suicide brother for an extended period of time, but Mike rallies and tags Jack. Being the fresh man, Jack fares well, at least until Jaffe tags in one of the men who beat Jack for the tag titles, Quow Ling. Quow and Jack battle with neither getting a decisive advantage, but do so for quite a while, tiring each man until Jack tags The Don , and Quow tags JuJu. JuJu enters with his "magic bones" and attempts to put a curse on The Don, but is unsuccessful. The Don simply attacks and nails The Hit for the pin, eliminating JuJu. Rory enters right after, beating down The Don, and using the Roundup to pin, and eliminate him. Silkky replaces The Don, and in retaliation for eliminating his partner, goes to town on Rory. Rory is beaten into his corner, and Jaffe slyly tags in, hits a low blow, and then the Arabian Goodnight to eliminate Silkky. Tony Ramon rushes in as soon as the three count is made to replace Silkky, but Jaffe tags to The Reverend, who meets Tony with a bible shot to the face while Jaffe distracts the ref. After the shot, Tony is pinned and eliminated. The Suicides the only members of their team left, and both rush in for an all-out aerial blitz, that floors Reverend before Mike is forced out. Not wasting time, Jack goes up and gets the Suicide Splash to eliminate Reverend. Rory charges again, mad as all heck, but a quick tag lets Mike in, and before Jack leaves, he and Mike use a Total Elimination (as done by ECW tag team The Eliminators), to level Rory. Mike keeps going , nails the Suicidal Twist and pins him! Rory is now gone. Jaffe keeps up the pace by rushing in next, and taking some more out of Mike, who is tired due to the pace and beating he'd taken earlier. Jack is also feeling the fatigue on the apron, as a result of his battle with Quow. Mike manages to get free and make the tag to Jack, who summons all his strength, and goes at Jaffe as fast and furious as he can. Luckily, his tactic works, and he gets the Suicide Splash! 1-2-3, Jaffe is gone! The Suicides are putting on an amazing display! Quow ends any celebration, nearly pinning a tired Jack after working him over. But somehow, Jack fights back, and makes the tag. Mike comes in, but is running on empty, being easy prey for Quow. Quow is feeling the same fatigue but not nearly as much as his opponents, or he just hides it better. Even though, by all rights, Mike should be simple to dispose of, he refuses to be pinned, but has come awfully close. Mike tags again, and Jack comes in, but finally their teamwork is paying off, Quow is running out of steam, with nobody to tag , but forges ahead, causing Jack to tag again. Mike pulls out all the stops, and goes full tilt at Quow Ling , who wards him off, and sets him up for the Death Kick. Mike ducks, and spins him around for the Suicide Twist! But Mike is too tired to capitalize! After a good 20 seconds, Quow beings to stir a little, before Mike can. But out of nowhere, Jack comes off the top with the Suicide Splash! Mike wakes up enough to put his arm on Quow and get the three count! The Suicide Brothers survived against all odds!
*Survivors* The Suicide Brothers

We go to pre-taped footage of Petey Pizzazz, seeing who he drew as partners and opponents

Petey(staring at the match lineup): Let's see....(smiles) YES! The World champ, The U.S. champ, and Joe Money, all on my team! (sarcastically) Wow, X is on there too. (scanning the list with his finger) What loser's are we gonna beat? Xavier, CRAZY PHIL AND THE JANITOR?(smiles and cries out in joy) This is too good to be true! (suddenly his face goes pale, and he stands in fear) And Octane?! (runs off with the list in hand as he cries out) What am I gonna do?!

Survivor Match 2- Joe Money, Petey Pizzazz, The Billion Dollar Man, X, & The Freedom Fighter vs Xavier Hawthorne III, Crazy Phil, Octane, The Janitor, & The Mercenary
The captains (Joe and Xavier) start, but after being overpowered, Xavier tags to The Mercenary, blatantly passing up The Janitor, who takes offense. As The Mercenary and Joe fight inside, The Janitor gets off the apron, grabs his mop, and knocks Xavier off the apron with it! Xavier is now being beat by his own partner! Xavier fights back, and a throng of officials come down to break it up, but are hit by The Janitor, who swings his mop wildly, and The Janitor chases Xavier to the back, managing to nail a few good shots with his mop along the way. The ref Dqs the both of them, so they're eliminated. In the ring , The Freedom Fighter tags in for his team, and beats the tar out of The Mercenary, and Hits The Star Spangled Slam, eliminating him. Octane stands patiently on the apron with no expression, despite being at a 5 on 2 disadvantage. Crazy Phil wastes no time entering , wanting to prove himself. Petey Pizzazz begs for the tag , thinking he could easily dispose of Phil. Petey was right, he uses the Piece of Pizzazz to eliminate him, and celebrates, before realizing who the last man left was. Petey turns right into Octane, who blasts him with a right hand, sending him down hard. Octane simply raises Petey up, and kills him dead with the Empty Tank to eliminate him. X comes in next, for all of a minute before becoming a recipient of the Empty Tank, eliminating him as well. On the apron, BDM and his buddy Joe $ opt to hold out in entering the ring and let The Freedom Fighter go instead. The Freedom Fighter takes some of the starch out of the big man, but can't finish him off, and ends up eating a running big boot, then the Empty Tank to be eliminated next. Joe Money comes in, acting all badass, but gets SMOKED, feeling the wrath of the, and easily pins him, leaving only the SWF champion left. BDM slowly enters, and OFFERS OCTANE MONEY TO LEAVE! Octane decides to pulverize BDM instead, hits the Empty Tank, and rather easily pins the SWF World champion!
*Soul Survivor* Octane

We go to the interview platform next to the announce booth where Dean Bokerlund is with Extreme

Dean(holding the mic up to Extreme): Extreme, it's good to have you back, but we all want to know, what was that match against Death Machine like?

Extreme: Well Dean, It was......(a large man with bleach blonde spiked hair, warm up gear and a mean look on his face comes into view, and grabs Extreme's and Dean's attention)

Extreme(angrily): Who the hell are you? What are you doing here? (The man grabs the mic)

The Man(angrily, with an Australian accent): My name is Ron McBride, and I'm here to make a name for myself.

Extreme(gets another mic, still angry): Is that so?

Ron McBride(yelling): That's right, I'm trying to break into wrestling and I'm gonna do it by breaking your neck! You're the man to see, Extreme Superstar, owner of the SWF. I saw Halloween Hell, I saw what you did to Death Machine, beating you will make ME famous!

Extreme(really angry): I'm not here to play games, (takes off his jacket) Do you got any gear?

Ron McBride(takes of his warmup clothes to reveal wrestling gear): I'm ready.

Extreme(pointing to the ring): There's the ring let's go.

A referee rushes to officiate the match as the two men make their way down to fight

Ron McBride vs Extreme Superstar
Extreme, still hurt from Halloween Hell, psyches himself up in the corner before going face to face with his opponent. McBride is only a few inches taller than Extreme, but has a wide, strongman physique. McBride attempts to hit Extreme but he ducks, and comes back up with some hard shots to the body, and then knocks him down, and almost out with some KILLER rights to the head that bloody him up a bit. Extreme backs up to allow the man to recover, and McBride rushes him, as if to spear him, but misses! Extreme waits behind him, and when he turns around, WHAM! DDT! McBride is GONE, he isn't getting up, that was one hell of a DDT, but Extreme doesn't go for the pin?! Extreme cups his hand to his ear, ala his idol Hulk Hogan, and COMES OFF THE ROPES WITH THE LEGDROP! The crowd is going bonkers, and 1-2-3, it's over.
*Winner* Extreme Superstar

Post Match: Extreme's Music plays, but he asks for a mic instead of celebrating. He tells security to get rid of the guy, and he never wants to see him again. He also points to that as an example of what happens when you try to disrupt his show. Extreme then makes his way back to the announce booth and stands atop the desk to play to the crowd.


Survivor Match 3- Tripp, The Shadow, Boppo The Clown, Repo, & Yeti vs Captain Fantastic, Beef Macho, Randy Mann, Disco Danny, & Jimmy Jam
The captains (Tripp and Fantastic) start, and within a few minutes, Tripp is pinned after the Crime Stopper. Fantastic tags to Beef Macho as Repo enters, tonight he's dressed in a chicken suit, like the Goobledygooker! Beef quickly dispatches of him with a Beefy Bomb. Boppo enters, and Beef tags to Randy, who easily pins him with the Body Shot. Tripp's whole team is dropping like flies, with him actually being the first to go. Shadow fights and nearly pins Randy, facilitating the tag to X. Shadow tags to Yeti, and X tags back to Fantastic, who pins Yeti in short order. Shadow, being the last man, gives it his all, at one point or another taking on each member of the team, until Fantastic finishes him with the Crime Stopper.
*Survivors* Captain Fantastic, Beef Macho, Randy Mann, Disco Danny, & Jimmy Jam

We then go to Dean, now in the back with the Suicide Brothers

Dean(with a mic to the brothers): You fought against the odds and were the last two left after your match, but it's not over yet. Your both in the Ultimate Survival Match, tell me, what are you thoughts?

Mike: It was destiny that we were even on the same team, let alone winning. I hope we can be on the same team for the Ultimate Survival Match, but we'll see. I think I can speak for both of us in that we are ready, but a little nervous about the match.

Jack: We want to win this, but it's not about the money, it's the opportunity to fulfill our dreams of being World champion, it's what we've wanted out whole lives, and if we win this one last match, we'll get the chance. I really want to be on the same side as my brother, but if not, I wish him luck, and we'll try out hardest to come out on top.

We go to the announce booth for some final hype

Vance: Extreme, the moment is upon us.

Extreme: Just who will win the Ultimate Survival Match?

Vance: I'll say this, everyone in that match has earned it. Also I should note, with The Suicides and Octane winning their respective matches, and Captain Fantastic's whole team surviving , that means we get an even four on four, but what will the teams be?

Extreme let's find out, Dean is ringside to announce the teams, take it Dean.

Dean: It is now time for the ULTIMATE Survival Match! With eight men having been strong enough to survive thus far, there will be two teams of four. These teams are randomly drawn (camera pans to the drawing device, like that used for bingo) from this, just like all of the other teams you've seen tonight. As I draw the names, the participants will make their way to the ring. And now, allow me to introduce team number one! Mike Suicide! Captain Fantastic! Jack Suicide! And... Octane! (The contestants are seen entering the ring) Now for team two! Jimmy Jam! Beef Macho! Disco Danny! And Randy Mann!

As the last four enter the ring , we prepare to start the match

Ultimate Survival 4 on 4- Mike/Fantastic/Jack/Octane vs Jimmy/Beef/Disco/Randy
Mike and Jimmy, being the captains, start things off, but the effects of a hard fought match earlier make Mike tag , wisely to Octane. No sooner does Octane get in the ring does Petey Pizzazz come down to confront him! It works, and Octane goes after him outside, where Petey uses a low blow. Petey is successful in getting an odds on favorite in Octane, eliminated via count-out, which is what he apparently set out to do. As Jimmy stares at the scene outside, and Jack Suicide rushes in and pins him! Disco Danny, looking for revenge, takes it to Jack as soon as Jimmy is eliminated, but Jack tags out to Captain Fantastic, who enters and eliminates Danny after a brief battle via the Crime Stopper. Beef Macho, obviously upset that his team has suffered two losses, wastes no time in attacking Fantastic, but after his attempt at a Beefy Bomb is thwarted, he tags to Randy Mann. Randy takes the fight right to the TV champ, and eventually nails the Body Shot for a mild upset. Randy is feeling it now, and as Jack comes in to replace his partner, Randy meets him, unloading a barrage of punches on the tired Suicide Brother. Jack has no choice but to tag his brother, but he's not too fresh either, but gives it a go anyways. Mike starts pretty strong , but Randy is on fire, and he whips him to the buckle hard, and rushes in for a splash. However, Jack is there to tag in, and push Mike out of the way, sending Randy violently into the corner, and he bounces off to the mat. As he stands, Jack comes flying off the top with a moonsault, and stays on for the pin. 1-2-3! The Suicides' music starts as the crowd pops like mad.
*Winners and Ultimate Survivors* The Suicide Brothers

Post Match: The tired brothers make it to their feet and embrace emotionally, and the crowd gives them a standing ovation as they celebrate with tears of joy in their eyes.

END OF SHOW

Random Stuff
I'm bored, it's early in the morning, and I don't have anything better to do, so I'll write some random thoughts. Ya know, stuff on my mind and such, like actual talented writers do sometimes. Here she goes:

-I've come to the realization that Bon Jovi is a better band than I originally thought.

-I'm SO tired of hearing about that Jessica Lynch girl. She's a hero for being captured?! Give me a break, a REAL soldier would've gone in there Rambo-style and snapped necks, and fired those explosive arrows at people. I know, I've seen too many movies, but this girl isn't a hero. But hey, she already wrote a book, and had a TV movie, so she can laugh it all off while driving around in some brand new car and all that. And now I guess Larry Flynt has nudie pics of her, but hasn't decided to make them public yet. Do it Larry, do it, like as I always say, "Just to see the look on her face". C'mon people, WHERE'S MY TV MOVIE?! You could get, ummm... How about Fez from That 70's Show to play me, or I'll do it! Call me Hollywood, we'll work on a script later.

-Some other skank (Paris Hilton) is involved in a sex scandal too, wow whatever. She isn't like famous for actually doing stuff, just because she is the heir to some mucho buxxx. She is to be in some reality show on Fox soon though, which will, no doubt, suck. The other party involved is Shannon Doherty's husband, but it was all before they were married. As for Shannon, despite what people say, I actually think she's cool. She does her own thing and that rocks, go on girl! I don't see her as evil and such, just misunderstood. I just figured I'd add that.

-Onto Another person who I like and feel is misunderstood, Mike Tyson. Mike is sooooo badass it's not even funny. And the dude just doesn't care, he says and does as HE pleases, not society. I can't wait for his next fight, I refuse to give up on him as a boxer, he'll always be my favorite, and hope he keeps destroying guys in the ring, right back to the top. My uncle met him too, just walked up and Tyson was cool with him, treating him like an old friend, how awesome is that? Mike also provides some great and memorable quotes, like this infamous one:

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him (Lennox Lewis). I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children." -- Tyson after beating Lou Savarese in June, 2000.

I am also quite fond of these "Tysonisms":
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep me from killing y'all." Tyson to reporters during a news conference to promote his Oct. 20, 2000 fight against Andrew Golota in Auburn Hills, Mich.

"At times, I come across as crude or crass. That irritates you when I come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I like to show you all that person because that's who you come to see." -- Tyson to reporters in Hawaii, 2002

But my all time favorite one is this glimpse into Tyson's psyche:

"I offend people. I ask this lady (a CNN reporter) a lewd question because I'm in a lot of pain. I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your (expletive) ass and stomp on you and ... inflict some of the pain on you because you deserve to feel the pain that I feel. I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the (expletive) head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day." -- Tyson at the same Hawaii meeting mentioned above.

I want to make it clear, this is not meant as sarcasm, I think I understand Tyson and his behavior, and don't see him as some freak or joke.

TYSON FOREVER!

-After thinking about it, if I had to chose a theme song to play as I walked down the street and such, I'd pick Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. As a matter of fact, I'm listening to it right now. Stayin' Alive is the ultimate cool song, people would know I was the man if that played as I sauntered in a room, beacuse that song MAKES me the man.

-Note to Hollywood: You can keep The Rock, seriously. Don't expect me to go see his movies though.

-I had a weird dream the other night where I was one of those Shoot Fighters, like UFC and the Mixed Martial Arts. It all made me think, I'd probably be good at that stuff. Additionally, boxing has always been something I'd want to get into as well. I just know I'd be a decent boxer, how I'd love KOing guys like Lennox Lewis and Chris Byrd, but they'd most likely be retired by then, oh well.

-Note to Vince McMahon: Get as many legends as possible for Wrestlemania XX. I'd have a heart attack (pardon the pun) if Bret Hart showed up live, even if it was just sitting in the crowd, that would all serve to make the show memorable. Also, Hulk Hogan had BETTER be there! Put him against anyone, let him come out to Real American, let him wear the red and yellow(the REAL deal), let him Hulk Up, Hit the Boot & Legdrop then pick up the win. You cold drag The Rock back to do the job, then ship him back to Hollywood. Hulk deserves his swan song, and all us Hulkamaniacs that bleed the red and yellow deserve to see it.....BROTHER!

- Note to Comedy Central: Now that the God-Awful Kid Notorious was moved off Wendsday nights, PLEASE move back Reno 911! Do it at least before the 2nd season starts!

-Stephen Colbert, Jack Black, Chris Farley(RIP), and Will Ferrell get my vote on the four funniest men EVER.

-Another plea to Comedy Central: Retro SNL with the greats like Sandler, Farley, and Ferell are great, but do we need a good 6 hours a day devoted to the show? It's not like you show more than 5 different episodes anyways. Put Kids in the Hall on at a decent time or even the underrated Strangers With Candy (featuring the Infinitely funny Stephen Colbert)on.

This time, a Gripe about Comedy Central: Comedy Central is currently running a poll for the best SNL episodes of all time, with the top 25 to be shown X-mas Eve. The only one I want to see is the 1985 episode where my idol Hulk Hogan hosted, and they don't even list it as a choice! They list just about every other episode of that season except that one! Also, I remember looking on their episode guide for the details of Hogan's appearance, and they didn't even have the episode listed! It might not be Comedy Central's fault though, NBC or even head honcho Lorne Michaels may still be pissed that the WWF got so popular that in the spring of 1985 NBC bumped SNL to show the legendary wrestling show Saturday Night's Main Event, which aired once a month in SNL's place. But what really probably ticks them off is that WWF delivered! It hit it's peak as Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant drew 33 million viewers (15.2 Nielson) on a prime time special. The ratings they got on that event are comparible and even better than such shows as Friends (take THAT!)today. SNME ran from 1985-1992, but left NBC in 1991. You might say, "But they air The Rock's appearances". Well, Rock didn't embarass SNL by dwarfing their ratings did he? And, Rock isn't as "Pure" a wrestler as Hogan, who's more known as a wrestler, not an actor.

-I mentioned Kids in the Hall above, but I have more to say about that show. KITH was irreverent and hilarious, something you got or you didn't, I did. My favorite sketches are the bizarre "Sausages", "Try it Now", and "Lopez". This stuff has to be seen to be appreciated. Ironically, Lorne Michaels was responsible for this show.

-I want Alex Winter to make a comeback, WE WANT BILL! Keanu, couldn't you have got him a bit part in the Matrix movies? I demand a Wyld Stallyns reunion! After the Bill and Ted movies, Winter actaully made his own movie in 1993 called Freaked, and it rocked. He also gave Keanu a bit part in it too. Keanu, you should have repaid the favor!

-In a final note, if you read my "Worst Movies I've Ever Seen" article, then you know my distain of Jason Bateman. Anyways, his new show "Arrested Development" seems to have picked up a following. What the hell?! Honestly, what is wrong with society, people worship garbage like Friends and another new pile of dung, The O.C. (which idiotically translates to The Orange County), it's official, I've lost faith in mankind. I hope something can happen soon to restore my faith, but that might be far off. However the band that has the same name as the Bateman (I also happen to loathe the band) is suing for use of their name. There is probably no way the musicians will get any money as the namesake is most likely considered public domain, but I can only pray the crappy band pulls in da mad ends, forcing the show off the air.

CD Collection
Yeah, I just remembered I promised the make that list... I will probably work on it today, maybe at least getting the Real CDs up, and put the custom ones up later. You see, I'd have to go through all the customs and list them by tracks so you know what is on them, but with my CD/DVD drives screwed up on my PC, It'd be hard to listen to them while typing. I'll see what I can do though, it's going to be a huge undertaking but I really need to put together track listings for the customs anyways, as I always have to go through several CDs to find what I want to hear.

SWF MAIN EVENT 11/8/03
SWF MAIN EVENT 11/8/03

Vance: Welcome to SWF Main Event! We've got a packed card, and some major announcements on tonight's show!

Extreme: Before we get too into the show, I have to let the fans know something. We've been working on some format changes for the SWF, and have decided to take out a lot of the announcers in between comments. This is a way to streamline the show, and use the announcers for things of greater importance, such as program notes and such. Also, show reports will cut all the "Fade in, Fade out, Back to the Announcers" stuff as well, as that was seemingly useless, instead, all segments, and matches will flow seamlessly, represented only by a space.

Vance: All right! Here's tonight's lineup:

SWF Hardcore Title Match- Xavier Hawthorne III vs Raslin' Rory Rogers

SWF Tag Team Title Match- The Black Dragons vs The Generation Gap- Disco Danny and Jimmy Jam

Randy Mann vs The Mercenary

X vs The Don

Another addition of Petey's Parlor

Octane vs Repo

6 Man Tag Match- Cash Inc vs The Freedom Fighter, Captain Fantastic, and Silkky Smooth

Extreme: Let's dive right in, here's the opening match!

Randy Mann vs The Mercenary
The Mercenary is looking rather irritated, possibly since he has been on quite the losing streak. He immediately charges, and almost takes Randy's head off with a hooking clothesline. Mercenary is un-relentless, as he continues to wail on Randy Mann. Randy briefly takes the upper hand by using his technical prowess, but The Mercenary quickly puts a stop to that, and hoists him up for the Mercy Kill, holding him in the air for a LONG time before dropping him for the easy pinfall. The Mercenary is apparently getting out of his funk.
*Winner* The Mercenary

We go right to Petey's Parlor where Petey is alone, since he and Octane severed their relationship at Halloween Hell. Petey holds the mic, ready to speak.

Petey(standing with a less than happy look on his face): As you can see, I don't have my SWF 6 Man title with me. That's because my partner, Octane decided to take out his aggressions on me, splitting the team. As for Yeti, he isn't exactly what I'd call a team player, but anyways I have something to tell you all about the titles. You see, with only The Generation Gap to award the titles to, the belts have been vacated until further notice. The whole 6 Man Tag division was counting on two teams to battle for the gold, and eventually inspire more teams, which would successfully establish it as a part of the SWF. HOWEVER, Octane seems to have spoiled it. He's RUINED the whole division, simply because he wanted to throw a temper tantrum about me trying to keep him in line....(Octane suddenly arrives on set behind Petey, who them turns to see him, he begs off as the big man comes closer)

Petey(in a trembling , scared voice): Oh, hey. I didn't mean any of what I said, really. I'm just trying to liven up the show, ya know? (As Octane closes in, Petey tosses the mic in his face and runs off as Octane stands angry on the set, closing out the segment)

X vs The Don
X starts good, but ends up falling prey to his opponent's superior brawling. X rallies though, and confuses The Don with some aerial moves. The Don is having a hard time keeping up, and X comes of the top rope, taking him down with a flying bulldog. He only gets two, but the weary Don is hit with the X-Factor, giving X the win.
*Winner* X

Backstage, Quow Ling is warming up, while his partner, The Shadow mimics him in the background. Quow stops his warmup and stares at his partner, with a confused look on his face, he says something in his native language, Japanese to Shadow. The Shadow nods in understanding , leading one to believe that the mysterious masked man is either Japanese himself, or just knows the language.

SWF Tag Team Title Match- The Black Dragons vs The Generation Gap- Disco Danny and Jimmy Jam
It should be noted, in the Black Dragons entrance, Quow Ling comes out to his theme, as The Shadow follows him. Shadow and Danny start, and Danny fares ok until Shadow's martial arts style becomes too much for him. Shadow takes Danny to his corner, and tags Quow in. Quow continues where his partner left off, and he and Shadow continue tagging in and out, making use of this time to do some double team moves on Danny, and showing some great teamwork. Danny finally gets the tag, and Jimmy comes in, cleans up, and beats on the legal man, being Shadow. Quow saves his partner, which also draws Jam's partner, Disco Danny back in. All four men slug it out before Danny is discarded, and The Dragons execute their simultaneous Death Kick/Flying Wizard finisher, dubbed by Extreme as the Dragon Attack, on Jimmy Jam. Shadow pins him for the win.
*Winners and STILL SWF Tag Champions* The Black Dragons

Post Match: Before the Dragons can leave, The Suicide Brothers enter the ring with mics, and begin to talk to the Dragons.

Mike: I'm not sure if you can understand me, but me and my brother really wanted to talk to you.

Jack: We didn't have a chance after the PPV, or due to the special, last week, but we had to come out and make our feelings known about you guys. (Quow and Shadow stand, seeming to at least understand some of what is being said)

Mike: Jack, this isn't working , let's show them how we feel instead. (Both drop their mics, and after a few seconds of staring at the other team, they extend their hands to them. Quow's usually blank expression changes to one of respect as he and his partner shake Jack and Mike's hands in a great display of class. The two teams leave together after playing to the crowd a bit)

In the locker room, Xavier Hawthorne is attacked by Rory Rogers, who has a ref in tow, starting the match right then and there!

SWF Hardcore Title Match- Xavier Hawthorne III vs Raslin' Rory Rogers
Rory just beats Xavier to a pulp, tossing him around into lockers and the like. Rory drags the helpless Xavier out of the locker room, and down the hall to the cafeteria, where he throws him onto a large cafeteria table. Rory climbs the table, and gives the signal that he's gonna do The Round-Up through it! But before he can, The Reverend runs onto the scene, and uses his bible to clock him right in the knee! When he falls, clutching his knee, The Reverend hits him again, this time right on the head, busting him open! Xavier manages to get his hand onto him for the pin!
*Winner and STILL SWF Hardcore Champion* Xavier Hawthorne III

Post Match: The Reverend sets down his bible on the table, which upon closer inspection, is just a book that looks like a bible, instead it reads "The Good Book", to gather Xavier and the title. Before the duo can take off, The Janitor attacks them with his mop! The Reverend's book falls off the table, and like his partner's "Code of Ethics" book, it has a brick in it! Faith and Devotion manage to grab the "book" and run off before The Janitor could really get to them.

Octane vs Repo
Octane stands alone in the ring while waiting for Repo, when the lights go out! Kane's music hits, the pyro goes off, and sure enough, Repo comes out dressed as Kane (the original look)! Repo's Kane costume is actually a Halloween one for little kids, and is WAY too small for him! Octane just stands there as "Kane" does his in-ring pyro, and the bell rings. Octane whips his opponent around like a rag doll, tearing Repo's plastic Kane mask up, and leaving it hang off his head. Soon after, Octane gives him the Empty Tank to finish it.
*Winner* Octane

Vance and Extreme are shown, ready to talk to the live crowd about the PPV:

Vance: At this time, we'd like to tell you fans about the upcoming PPV event, SWF Soul Survivor, to take place on November14th!

Extreme: It won't be just any PPV though Vance, EVERY SWF wrestler will be entered into a random drawing , that drawing will place them onto one of six teams of five. Those teams will face each other in three five on five elimination matches, the survivors of those will then be entered into another random drawing to determine their team for the ULTIMATE Survival match!

Vance: Those teams, which numbers depend on who survives the original three matches, will compete in the aforementioned Ultimate Survival match, which will have the same rules as the other elimination matches, but with HUGE rewards for the winner or winners. Those who manage to win the Ultimate Survival match, will be given a title shot at any title they wish, whenever they wish (excluding a World title shot at Extrememania, that goes to the winner of the Rumble), and a $100,000 cash prize! In, other news,

Extreme: I said on the SWF special that I had an important announcement to make, and I do. I feel, that in light of recent events, I should step away from the broadcast booth, at least for a while. So, after the Soul Survivor PPV, Dean Bokerlund, will, at least temporarily be taking my place as an announcer. But, don't expect me to step away completely, I'm gonna be taking a more hands on role in the SWF. So, from this moment on, consider me a commissioner of sorts, when any SWF superstar has a problem, or wants a match signed, they can come to me and I'll see what I can do to help. Sure, I'm the owner, but before, the wrestlers didn't feel like they could actually come to me for help, or suggest a match, that ends now. And a final note to all troublemakers, I'm watching you.

Vance(shocked): Wow! You heard it here folks, Extreme Superstar will now be assuming a more in depth role in the SWF! But right now, we have a main event to watch!

Main Event: 6 Man Tag Match- Cash Inc vs The Freedom Fighter, Captain Fantastic, and Silkky Smooth
The Billion Dollar Man (BDM for short) is in first for Cash Inc, so Silkky requests that he start for his team, and his partners oblige. BDM holds his own though, being a superior technical wrestler, and even a decent brawler. Silkky finally gets some offense, and takes down BDM with some punches and then delivers a corner splash. The fired up Silkky decides to punch out the other members of Cash Inc while he's at it, which draws both men in. As the ref tries to get the illegal men back on the apron, BDM goes low on Silkky and proceeds to stomp on him, before he can make it to his, now back on the apron partners, where he tags Jaffe. Soon after, Silkky makes it to The Freedom Fighter, who destroys Jaffe, completely overpowering him before he could get in any offense. Jaffe crawls back to his corner to tag in Joe $(Money), who fares much better, actually being able to get in some offense. Freedom eventually is the one in need of tagging , and he does to Captain Fantastic. Fantastic pummels Joe, and then Joe rolls outside to caucus with his team. Cash Inc huddles, and when they break, and return to their respective positions, Joe's being in the ring , BDM seemingly signals someone by pounding his foot on the apron, while waving to the back. As Fantastic begins to lock back up with Joe, The Mercenary runs out from the back! He slides right under the bottom rope, and spears Fantastic to the ground, as Cash Inc run interference, holding Fantastic's partners at bay. Cash Inc lay waste to Silkky and The Freedom Fighter outside, then enter the ring to watch the Mercenary assault Captain Fantastic, as the ref finally calls for the bell.
*Winners By DQ* The Freedom Fighter, Captain Fantastic, and Silkky Smooth

Post Match: The Mercenary delivers his Mercy Kill finisher two times on Captain Fantastic, who is also bleeding from a gash on his forehead. BDM happily walks over to Mercenary and hands him a wad of cash! BDM has paid for Mercenary's services! Being amused by it all, BDM instructs Mercenary to do the Mercy Kill one more time, holding up another few bills, and The Mercenary complies. Mercenary then leaves with his money as Cash Inc celebrate in the ring.

END OF SHOW

This week, instead of a regular show, here's an SWF Special!
SWF Special: The New Blood
Vance: Welcome to a very special SWF show!

Extreme: That's right, because tonight, you will be introduced to four newly signed SWF superstars.

Vance: We've gotten so much of a buzz in the short time we've been running , that potential talent has had the phones at SWF headquarters ringing off the hook! But now, let's look at the ones we signed!

Name: Ayatollah Sheik

Height: 6'0

Weight: 241

From: Sari Iran

Finishing Move: The Camel Clutch- The move of the same name

Theme: Wherever I May Roam by Metallica

Bio: This Iranian strongman has been a world class weightlifter and amateur wrestler for some time, but has always wanted the to be in the spotlight of pro wrestling. He says that one of the biggest reasons for joining the SWF is to silence The Freedom Fighter for his "Pro USA rhetoric". The self proclaimed Ayatollah excels in both powerhouse brawling , and scientific wrestling.

Name: Charles Gunn

Height: 6'5

Weight: 243

From: Dallas Texas

Finishing Move: The Gunslinger -The move of the same name

Theme: Rodeo by Garth Brooks

Bio: He was recommended by current SWF superstar, Rory Rogers. Gunn and Rogers were rivals in junior rodeos for a few years before becoming best friends, and both ended up going pro. They continued their friendship, and each hold three pro Bull Riding titles, even though on a few of their wins, they had to beat each other. This Texan loves a fight, and does his best work in brawls.

Name: Tex Gentry

Height: 5'11

Weight: 234

From: Nashville Tennessee

Finishing Move: The Tennessee Jam- The Move of the same name


Theme: Tennessee River by Alabama

Bio: Despite being named Tex, Gentry was born and bred in Nashville Tennessee. Tex is a rather skilled technical wrestler, but mixes some fast paced moves to give him a truly unique style. While quite talented, Tex seems more interested in getting himself a career as a country music star, thinking he can use the SWF's national exposure to secure a record deal.

Name: Julio Maniaco

Height: ??

Weight: ??

From: Mexico City, Mexico

Finishing Move: The Mexican Conquest- Test Drive

Theme: Real Solution # 9(Mambo Mania Mix) by White Zombie

Bio: All we know of the masked man is that he hails from Mexico, and instead of using traditional Lucha Libre moves like many from his country, he mixes all different styles together. Despite such a combination of maneuvers, Julio blends them together beautifully, and is heavily touted as a breakout star. This enigmatic individual is definitely one to watch, not only for his talent, but possible details as to his background or identity.

Vance: Well there's the new blood, be sure to check out the SWF next Saturday for an important announcement concerning our next PPV, SWF Soul Survivor.

Extreme: And I too have an announcement to make, this will all take place on SWF Main Event, which will also feature the following matches:

SWF Hardcore Title Match- Xavier Hawthorne III vs Raslin' Rory Rogers

SWF Tag Team Title Match- The Black Dragons vs The Generation Gap- Disco Danny and Jimmy Jam

Randy Mann vs The Mercenary

X vs The Don

Another addition of Petey's Parlor

Octane vs Repo

6 Man Tag Match- Cash Inc vs The Freedom Fighter, Captain Fantastic, and Silkky Smooth

Vance: I can't wait, we'll see you there fans!

END OF SHOW