2004 Rumble thoughts
My thoughts on the 2004 Royal Rumble

I'm gonna do this match by match, not a move for move sort of thing, just my thoughts. Remember, these are MY thoughts, don't take them as fact, you might disagree with my opinions, and that's cool.

Sunday Night Heat Matches

Other notes: The Philadelphia crowd was DEAD, or so it seemed, the audio for the whole show seemed down, and that really doesn't flatter the matches, if the crowd doesn't react. The Rumble timer is at 90 seconds this year, which sucks, I want a FULL two minutes! Plus, I noticed a whole lot of Hogan fans out there, I hope Vinnie gets the message. Wrestlemania is 48 days away, so he better be on the horn, calling the Hulkster back, to his HOME.

Non-title-Victoria beat Women's Champion Molly Holly
Victoria and Molly are my two favorite women's wrestlers, hell, I'd rank them as top favorites from the whole Raw roster. I thought it was cool, and was glad to see my girl Victoria pick up the win, especially with the wicked Widow's Peak. That move is seriously one of the coolest moves I've seen in a long time. Victoria pinning the champ hopefully sets up a feud between them, as I'd be totally down for that.

Royal Rumble Matches

World Tag Team title Tables Match-Evolution's Ric Flair & Batista beat The Dudley Boys to retain
It was pretty stupid, the Dudleys are stale as hell, and The Coach got involved. Seriously, people get pissed about HHH, but Coach's sudden dominance of TV time as of late makes him the REAL threat. I'd rather have HHH hold the title, than hear Coach for two hours on Raw each week, then get involved in matches.

WWE Cruiserweight title Match- Rey Mysterio beat Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) to retain
This match was like three minutes long or so, I never had the chance to get into it. I really don't care for Rey, but I like Noble, as a wrestler, and character, so him losing was pretty crappy.

Eddie Guerrero beat Chavo Guerrero (w/ Chavo Guerrero Sr.)
I don't understand why Eddie, one the most popular and talented wrestlers in WWE, had to lower himself to face Chavo, who is a Cruiserweight title contender at best. WWE went for the "drama" of uncle (Eddie) vs nephew (Chavo), but Eddie is wasted in such a feud. Rumor has it that Eddie is set to get the main event push, poised to challenge for the WWE title at February's No Way Out PPV, but this match doesn't really help his cause very much. But, I hope Eddie gets the gold anyways, if anyone can shake off this, it's him. As for the match, it was pretty reserved, well below what me, and many others expected.

WWE title Match- Brock Lesnar beat Bob Holly to retain
Dear lord, don't get me started on why the hell Sparky Plugg A.K.A. Bombastic Bob gets a WORLD title match. Honestly, the guy has never proved to be anything more than a lower mid-carder, yet he faces the champion. The match was terrible, which proved my point, and the dead crowd somehow got DEADER during this....thing. That may sound harsh, it wasn't worst match of the year material, but it lacked any redeemable qualities.

World title Last Man Standing Match- HHH drew Shawn Michaels, he retains
I won't go into HHH bashing mode, but this was far worse than I expected. The two are just weeks off a stellar match on Raw, and while I didn't think this was going to be better than that, I figured it'd be, at least pretty good. The one cool thing was Shawn inadvertently launched himself through the Spanish announce table from the ring apron. I didn't like how they played it up as brutal, since it was pretty standard, just with both guys blading for effect. It was the lack of brutality that made the finish look totally weak, as if both couldn't stand after the "hell" they put themselves through. I understand what WWE was trying to do though, keep HHH with the title, but not make Michaels look bad, setting him up for another run down the line, and in that they succeed, but I didn't like the execution of it.

Pre Rumble Shenanigans:
Austin does what he's been doing since 1841, stun people, and drink beer, this time with Eric Bischoff & Paul Heyman
Yeah, I'm SOOOO tired of Austin stunning people for no good reason, wasting my time in the process. Hey, I like Austin as much as the next guy, but he doesn't wrestle anymore, and his character has gone flat. But, if all this abuse of Bischoff lead to Easy E picking up the phone, and calling in a buddy, a little known guy by the name of HULK HOGAN, setting up the EPIC Austin vs Hogan, that'd make it more bearable, but hasn't been confirmed, yet.

Chris Benoit wins the 30 Man Royal Rumble, last eliminated Big Show
We all knew he'd probably win, but that doesn't take away from it, I was happy for him, as he seemed legitimately honored, and I think he deserves it. This was a VERY well booked Rumble match, setting up several Wrestlemania matches, and not hurting the loser's credibility going into `Mania, now onto what I liked and didn't like about the Rumble. I didn't like Matt Morgan staying in as long as he did. I didn't like The Cat wasting about 1,000 hours dancing around the ring, killing the already apathetic crowd, but at least he got tossed right after. I hated that Big Show stayed until the end, he dragged most of the final moments down, with the exception of the few seconds before Benoit dumped his sorry ass. What happened to Big Show, in WCW, he was only about 280 pounds, svelte for a 7'2 man, plus he could wrestle rather well for a huge monster. Now, he's hovering around 500 pounds (WWE probably exaggerates a tad, he's close to 500 though), and can't do anything, it's sad, the guy could be so awesome if he took off the weight, and applied himself. I want the talented chokeslamming machine from the old days, bring him back man! Sorry about that, I had to get that out. I DID like that Mark Henry went quick, he's probably the WORST possible guy to even be considered for push like he's been getting. I liked Billy Gunn coming back, and as Mr. Ass. I don't care what people say, he rules, and I still have my Mr. Ass shirt, and yes, I've worn it in public. Move Billy to Raw, I want MORE! I didn't care about Foley taking Test's place in the match, sure I'm glad Test wasn't in the match, but I stopped marking out for Foley a few years ago. On top of that, he had to show up to eliminate Randy Orton, thus set up their Wrestlemania match. I was amused by Nunzio hiding outside the ring instead of entering right away, we knew he wouldn't win, so it was cool that he got a little moment in, before he was forced in, then eventually tossed out. I was also so relieved that Brock came out and F-5ed Goldberg, setting up their match for `Mania, and pretty much causing Kurt Angle to eliminate Goldy from the match. I don't care much for Brock, but now I might like him, you da man Brock! But, the BEST part of the whole show for me was this: Kane enters the ring, kicks some ass, but then, BONG! TAKER'S OLD MUSIC!!!! He didn't come out, but we all knew what it meant, he's coming...soon. Kane was rightfully scared, and Booker T used the distraction to dump Kane, who might just have won otherwise. I am a MASSIVE Undertaker mark, and don't hesitate to tell you that I giggled like a school girl when I heard the music, it made my night. We know that he'll be back to face Kane at `Mania, but I hope he waits a long time before returning, maybe not appear until the show itself, since that will give me something to look forward to at the show, which isn't all that appealing to me otherwise. Back to the Rumble, as a match, overall, it was alright, I found it pretty dead at times, with guys like Matt Morgan and Big Show overstaying their welcome, but the Undertaker tease, Goldberg getting owned by Brock, and Benoit's win provided me with some good stuff. I must give kudos though to the WWE booking team, they put a whole hell of a lot of effort, effectively setting up for Wrestlemania, despite my relative lack of enjoyment from this year's outing, they did a bang up job in storytelling.