SWF Main Event 1/24/04
SWF Main Event 1/24/04

Vance: Welcome to another addition of SWF Main Event! Tonight promises to be a big night, with Extreme Superstar & The Billion Dollar Man set to sign the contract for their epic title match at Extrememania! Dean, what else is on tap tonight?

Dean: Well, you mentioned the contract signing between BDM & Extreme, but also:

After Cash Inc's run-in with Crazy Phil and Janitor, Extreme has set up two matches for tonight, The Janitor vs Joe Money, & Crazy Phil vs Jahalaman Jaffe! We are also told, that should either or both members of the SWF Tag Team champions, Cash Inc, lose their match, Janitor and Phil will be awarded a tag title shot for No Escape!

Boppo The Clown will be a guest on Petey's Parlor

Speaking of Petey, Captain Fantastic has asked, and was granted a one on one match with him tonight, where again, the SWF TV title shot for No Escape that Petey won last week, will be on the line!

And: To decide who will face Ayatollah Sheik for his U.S. title at No Escape, the man he cheated to beat last week, Silkky Smooth will try to earn another title shot, but to get it, he must win a 4 Man Elimination Match, facing his friend Randy Mann, and both members of Faith & Devotion, Xavier Hawthorne III & The Reverend in our main event!

Vance: Without further ado, Petey is standing by for the Parlor!

Petey(annoyed): Yeah, let's hurry this along , I have a match to do. Here's Boppo.

(Boppo enters)

Petey: So, you have something to say I take it, (sarcastically) PLEASE, do tell.

Boppo(gives Petey a dirty look): Actually two things Petey. One, since YOU have taken my former friend JuJu under your wing , and brainwashed , which I'll get to more in a moment, I have a new partner, one that will help propel me to tag team greatness! Repo!

Petey: Repo huh? Ok then, do you have a team name?

Boppo(excited): As a matter of fact we do, it's "Tuns of Fun", get it?

Petey(not amused): Sure, you're a clown, he's a goofball, it all makes sense. What else did you have to say?

Boppo: Like I said earlier, you brainwashed JuJu, changing his look, and making him your stooge. The guy doesn't even talk to me now! He was someone I really thought I could relate to, and YOU made him a jerk!

Petey(offended): EXCUSE ME! I made him BETTER. I helped him find his TRUE self.

Boppo(angry): Whatever, man. I just want the chance to bring back the old JuJu, and I intend to do so, by BEATING IT BACK INTO HIM!

Petey(laughs): Suuuure. Anytime pal, JuJu will rip you apart, your lucky he's not here now.

Boppo(smiles): I've got my chance too, I've been given the clearance to face him for the SWF Hardcore title at No Escape!

Petey(upset): WHAT?! Oh, now you've done it, just wait until....

(The sound of The Bee Gees Stayin' Alive cuts him off, and The Don & Tony Ramon walk on set with mics of their own)

Don(to Boppo): Hey, funny boy, you got a new tag team? So do I!
Tony(to Petey): Sorry to break this up, but when we heard the clown yappin' about a new team, one that would "Propel him to greatness", we just HAD to come out.

Don: Boppo, you must've read our minds, `cause WE were planning to make our teaming official. Tony Ramon is now a full fledged part of my "family", and it's time we stake our claim to the tag titles!

Tony: We, the "Kings of the Street", will tear through the tag ranks, straight to the gold, and since you are so excited about your new team, I say we put yours and ours in a match next week!

Boppo: Your on!

Petey: I hate to say it, as this is getting interesting , but that's all the time we've got this week, so we'll see you next time on the Parlor!

The Janitor vs Joe Money
Janitor comes out swingin' and mows down Joe in the early goings. Janitor is doing rather well, and he's really been impressive lately, I must say. Joe ends Janitor's dominance with a powerslam, then works him over in the corner. Janitor soon fights back however, and punches Joe back slightly, then climbs to the second rope, and jumps over with the sunset flip! 1-2-3! Janitor wins?! I didn't see that coming! Now, Phil & Janitor are guaranteed the tag title shot!
*Winner* The Janitor!

Post Match: The Janitor leaves as a shocked Joe Money stares, dumfounded at him, and the referee. Jahalaman Jaffe soon comes to protest the decision, and console his partner. Crazy Phil then suddenly comes blazing down the aisle, and begins to fight Jaffe! The bell then rings, and the referee for the last match stays to officiate!

Crazy Phil vs Jahalaman Jaffe
After a few quick shots, Phil goes for the school boy roll up, and almost steals it! Joe Money, who hasn't even left the ring , trips Phil without the ref seeing him, and leaves the ring. Jaffe uses his partner's illegal help to secure the Arabian Goodnight on Phil, then plants it for the easy win!
*Winner* Jahalaman Jaffe

SWF TV Title # 1 Contender's Match- Petey Pizzazz vs Captain Fantastic
The match starts with Fantastic firmly in control, but Petey then removes the necklaces he was wearing , and wraps them around his fist. Petey just waits for the right time, and clocks Fantastic, catching him flush in the mouth! Knowing that things are going his way, Petey decides to play up to the crowd, and then hits the Piece of Pizzazz for the pin!
*Winner & STILL SWF TV Title # 1 Contender* Petey Pizzazz

Main Event: SWF U.S. Title # 1 Contender's 4 Man Elimination Match- Silkky Smooth vs Randy Mann vs The Reverend vs Xavier Hawthorne III
Before the bell, the two sets of friends, Silkky & Randy, & Faith & Devotion, make some sort of pact to work together. So, the two pairings rush the other, and it works like a tag match, as Faith & Devotion turf Silkky, and concentrate their efforts to eliminate Randy. Silkky makes his return after a few minutes though, and takes care of the duo, but, as he is preoccupied in fending off Reverend & Xavier, Randy sneaks up from behind, and rolls him up for a VERY close two count! Silkky looks shocked, and Randy shrugs and apologizes, to which Silkky nods understandingly. Soon after that, their other opponents in the match make their presence known once again, as Xavier jumps Silkky, while The Reverend scores with the Divine Intervention on Randy, which leads to Randy being eliminated! With Randy gone, Xavier goes to help out the Rev, as he pounds away on Silkky. Silkky recovers quickly though, fights both men off, then evades a double clothesline, and as his two remaining foes turn to him, he lifts them both for a DOUBLE SILKKY SLAM! He pins Xavier, then quickly covers Rev for the win!
*Winner and SWF U.S. Title # 1 Contender* Silkky Smooth

We then go to the announce booth, where Vance and Dean recap the Extreme/BDM feud, and the revelation that the winner of the SWF Rumble, Julio Maniaco, was Extreme all along. Then, we are told the ring is all set up, so we head there for the contract signing

The Extrememania Main Event Contract Signing: Extreme Superstar & The Billion Dollar Man
The ring has been set up with a red carpet covering the canvas, and a desk, that has the contract on it. On both sides of the desk sits a chair, and a microphone propped up, like you'd see at a U.N. meeting. BDM enters first, slowly walking down the aisle with no music, and a very serious look on his face. Extreme follows suit, making his way down without music, and the same serious expression. It should also be noted that both are dressed in nice business suits, ready to do this professionally. Both men sit down, and conduct themselves in a proper manner, before Extreme signs the contract without hesitation, much to the fans delight, and Extreme calmly passes the contract to BDM, who looks leery at the prospect of signing , and draws boos from the crowd. BDM then sighs, before scribbling his name down quickly, which elicits a nice response from the crowd. BDM then stands up, and asks if they are through, to which Extreme removes his mic from it's holder, and stands to speak:

Extreme(nods his head, and smirks): No, we're not quite done yet. (The crowd cheers) I saw how hesitant you were to sign, what was it, did you think I'd slip in something on the sly?

BDM(grabs his mic, annoyed): Yeah, I did actually.

Extreme(smiles): Well, you were right! (The crowd cheers again) You should have looked a little harder, like at the top, where it reads "IF this match is to take place".

(BDM looks puzzled, and inaudibly asks Extreme what he's talking about)

Extreme: You see BDM my friend, this match might not be necessary, because you may not even be the champion come Extrememania, not with the title defense you have at No Escape!

BDM(angry and confused): What title defense?!

Extreme(still smiling): The one where you will take on not one, but TWO opponents, two opponents who you've screwed over, and deserve a FAIR crack at the title, THE SUICIDE BROTHERS! (The crowd cheers wildly)

BDM(furious): WHAT?! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! IT'S SO UNFAIR!

Extreme(shrugs): Maybe, but you did agree to it, the whole thing was in the contract you just signed! (The crowd cheers again)

(BDM throws himself around some more)

Extreme(smiles): Wow, if you think that's bad, your gonna FREAK OUT when you hear about the OTHER stipulation for that match!

BDM(breathing heavily, in a rage): The OTHER stipulation?! THERE'S MORE?!

Extreme: Yeah, just one little thing , a special guest referee!

(Extreme then drops the mic and removes his shirt and tie, revealing a referee's shirt! BDM is losing it now, and the crowd is on their feet!)

Extreme(serious and excited): Oh yeah, it's gonna be ME, and I'll make damn sure you, or any of your buddies try anything!

BDM(absolutely irate, in a low voice): That's it Extreme, I've HAD IT! You'd BETTER hope I lose the title, because if I don't...... You'll pay. You'll pay dearly Extreme. I'll win that Extrememania match, and I'll run this promotion straight into the ground! I will RUIN you! (slams the mic down and walks off)

END OF SHOW