SWF Starrcade
SWF Starrcade

We open with Extreme sitting in his office, ready to address the viewers.

Extreme(serious): I would like to apologize for everything that happened on SWF Main Even last week, things have been out of control lately. I take full responsibility for what happened, if I wasn't stirring things up with my "hands on" approach for the televised product, none of this may have happened, but luckily nobody was seriously hurt. Today though, I had an epiphany, the SWF superstars need to get rid of all this hostility, so tonight, in EVERY match, all bets are off, no DQS, no Count-outs, they can fight their aggressions out! Maybe after tonight, we can quell the craziness that has overtaken this company. Thank you all, and enjoy the show.

Vance(shocked): You heard it folks, it's anarchy tonight! Welcome to SWF Starrcade!

Dean: The last SWF PPV of 2003 is here, and boy is it a dandy! Look at this lineup:

4 Corners Elimination Match- Julio Maniaco vs Yeti vs The Don vs Tony Ramon

The SWF Hardcore Endurance Battle Royal- Xavier Hawthorne III vs The Reverend vs Boppo The Clown vs The Janitor vs Crazy Phil vs Repo vs Tripp vs Randy Mann vs Beef Macho vs JuJu- Two random men will start, the winner of that will face the next entrant, the last man left is the winner!

SWF Televison Title Match- Captain Fantastic vs The Mercenary

SWF U.S. Title Match- The Freedom Fighter vs Ayatollah Sheik

3 Team Elimination SWF Tag Team Title Match- The Black Dragons vs Suicide Brothers vs Cash Inc

Petey Pizzazz vs Octane-Assuming we find out if Octane didn't catch up to Petey and finish him off!

For the Vacant SWF 6 Man Titles-Generation Gap vs The Good Ol' Boys

Steel Cage SWF World Title Match- Billion Dollar Man vs Silkky Smooth

Vance: Well, let's get tp the first match!

4 Corners Elimination Match- Julio Maniaco vs Yeti vs The Don vs Tony Ramon
The four all meet in the ring and slug it out, Yeti swats them all away. As they recover, Julio looks to Yeti ans extends his hand, trying to make an alliance, knowing Don and Tony are gunning for him. Yeti just growls at him, so Julio kicks him in the gut! Julio jumps up to clamp him in a front facelock, and as Yeti thrashes to get him off, Julio swings his feet to take out Tony and Don! He then jumps down, and rushes to the top rope, where he catches Yeti with a missile dropkick right to the head as he turns around. Yeti staggers, but doesn't fall, and Julio uses some running shots and finally a tackle to drop him. Don and Tony decide to beg off, leaving Julio to deal with the giant Yeti. But with Yeti down, Julio is able to come off the top rope again, this time, with a moonsault. He goes for the pin and gets three! Yeti is gone! (Elimination # 1) Don and Tony rush right in, but Julio is too quick, he comes flying off the ropes with a double clothesline, and lifts Don for the Mexican Conquest, and gets it! Tony breaks up a pin though, and begins to hammer away on Julio. Julio backs off to the corner, and Tony comes after, but it was a trap! As Tony comes in, Julio pops up, grabs him in a front facelock, uses his feet to climb the ropes, then swings out for a tornado DDT, but he flips over at the last second, making it a neckbreaker! Don is up before Julio can pin Tony, so he quickly turns focus and spears Don nearly out of his shoes! He is now free to finish off Tony, so he keeps him down with a flipping splash, then comes off the top with a huge frog splash! 1-2-3, bye Tony. (Elimination # 2) Don is starting to stir, but is doubled over clutching his ribs, and Julio stalks him from behind, and as he makes it to one knee, Julio leaps at him and turns sideways, nailing him with a running fameasser! The Don is out, so Julio drags him to the center of the ring , and mounts the turnbuckle a good 3/4 across the ring. He spreads his arms like wings and soars all the way across for an amazing flying headbutt! Yeah, that'll do it, Don is finished (Elimination # 3)
*Winner* Julio Maniaco

We head backstage where Petey is shown talking to JuJu, he wishes him good luck in the Hardcore title match (which is next), and states that Octane never caught up with them since they doubled back to the arena, but seeing the chaos, left again. Petey does say he's worried though as he now has to face Octane tonight.

The SWF Hardcore Endurance Battle Royal- For the SWF Hardcore Title
We wait to see who are the unlucky first two men, and first is.... Tripp! He must start vs..... Crazy Phil! Phil has a trash can lid in hand, but Tripp kicks it out of his hands, and hops up on him for the Stoner Smash, which he nails right on said lid. 1-2-3, Poor Phil, he's gone. (Elimination # 1) Tripp seems excited, but to win, he has to beat 9 other guys! He waits for the third entrant, and the lights go out and they come back on, flickering red, and Kane-esque pyro goes off from the ring posts, and Them Bones plays, it's the "new" JuJu! JuJu is wearing red pants and a back tank top to wrestle in. He doesn't take crap either, he comes right over the top rope, and kills Tripp with a running big boot, then picks him up for the JuJu Driver! Tripp is gone (Elimination # 2) JuJu is fired up, he paces the ring and waits for the (seemingly doomed) fourth entrant. Beef Macho is it, but JuJu mauls him before he can make it through the ropes, JuJu Driver, it's over. (Elimination # 3) JuJu is still fresh, so the next guy is still probably screwed, who is it? Kid Rock's American Badass strikes up and Repo comes out on a motorcycle! He's "New School" Undertaker! JuJu exits the ring , and clotheslines Repo off the bike before he can get off of it! He then delivers the JuJu Driver on the floor! 1-2-3 Repo ain't winnin' this one (Elimination # 4). The crowd is getting behind JuJu, now and Randy Mann runs out next! JuJu gets beat on, and gets back in the ring , where he stomps Randy as he tries entering. Randy gets up, but JuJu ducks a roundhouse right, and as Randy turns back to face him, he is quickly lifted and dropped in the JuJu Driver! 1-2-3, Randy is now out (Elimination # 5). Who is next to test the merciless JuJu? The Janitor! Janitor comes in swinging , and hits some good shots with the broom, but JuJu takes it, and swings it right into Janitor's throat! As The Janitor gasps for air, JuJu gets him up for the JuJu Driver and pins him (Elimination # 6). The fans are impressed, and don't laugh anymore, no longer sidetracked by the voodoo, he is a killing machine! As he plays up to the crowd, his former? (Not sure where that relationship is) partner Boppo The Clown comes in, and almost decapitated by a clothesline. JuJu shows his power by lifting the plump Boppo, and holding him over his shoulder before leaping in the air and coming down with a wicked JuJu Driver! Boppo is legally dead (Elimination # 7). "JuJu" chants go up as R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion begins to play, and the crowd gasps knowing that signals the arrival of Xavier Hawthorne, who is most certainly, about to be slaughtered. Xavier is terrified, but JuJu lets him enter in piece, then charges with a clothesline that knocks Xavier for a loop! The crowd is loving this, and JuJu nails a giant chokeslam on Xavier, then goes for the pin. Sensing the fans want more however, he pick him up and hits a JuJu Driver, then pins him. (Elimination # 8) We know who the last entrant is, The Reverend. Reverend's music plays but he's scared to death to come out, so JuJu goes back after him! JuJu ends up carrying him to the ring , and press slams him inside from the floor! Reverend scurries to escpae on the other side of the ring , but JuJu ends up grabbing his leg to drag him back. He lifts Reverend in position for the chokeslam, and Reverend begs for his life. JuJu signals for the move as the crowd cheers him on, and Reverend appears to have past out in his grasp! JuJu hits the chokeslam anyway, then picks him up again for the JuJu Driver, it's over. (Elimination # 9)
*Winner and NEW SWF Hardcore Champion* JuJu

Post Match: JuJu is handed his newly one belt, and he celebrates as the crowd chants his name. JuJu seems teary eyed as he hears this, since he finally feels accepted.

We go to Vance and Dean in the booth, they say that SWF will take a holiday break after this show, then return on January 4th, and announce that SWF Main Event now has an official theme song , Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting by Nickelback. They also wish everyone a happy holiday season, whatever they may celebrate.

SWF Televison Title Match- Captain Fantastic vs The Mercenary
Mercenary comes in mad, and with a pipe of some kind, which he beats Fantastic senseless with. Fantastic never even has the chance to fight back, as he gets planted with the Mercy Kill and pinned a few minutes in! Mercenary DESTROYED him.
*Winner and NEW SWF TV Champion* The Mercenary

We quickly go backstage where Generation Gap are taking advantage of tonight's "anything goes" atmosphere by attacking the Good Ol' Boys. Jimmy calls for a ref as they fight their way to the ring. I guess their match starts now.

SWF 6 Man Title Match-Generation Gap vs The Good Ol' Boys
Generation Gap beat all their opponents down the aisle and toss them in the ring , and the ref tries to get two guys from each team to leave the ring , but with no rules tonight, tagging isn't necessary I suppose. Tex manages to bail, and he runs off to the back, leaving his partners to be beaten up! With things mostly in their control, Generation Gap sends Danny to follow Tex. As Danny makes his way partly through the curtain, something strikes him and he falls back into the aisle! It was a guitar, swung by none other than Tex Gentry! He didn't abandon his team, but went for an equalizer! Tex screams for the ref, and he comes, with X and Jimmy Jam soon seeing the scene and following. The ref administers the count in the aisle before Generation Gap can get there! Tex got the pin!
*Winners and NEW SWF 6 Man Tag Champions* The Good Ol' Boys!

Post Match: Tex runs to the ring , while being chased by X and Jimmy, so he can claim the titles and celebrate with his partners. Tex grabs the belts, and his dazed partners run to him, then the three run off through the crowd, holding their titles up.
Ayatollah Sheik's music hits and he comes out from the back, ready for his match. He grabs a mic and begins to berate the crowd, but soon after, The Freedom Fighter's music cuts him off, and Freedom comes running out and the begin to brawl!

SWF U.S. Title Match- The Freedom Fighter vs Ayatollah Sheik
The ref is nowhere to bee seen as Sheik is beaten out of his entrance gear and drops the mic, with Freedom pummeling him from pillar to post. Freedom finally takes off his U.S. title and whips Sheik with it! A referee comes running out, and it's about time. With the bell officially ringing , Freedom continues his assault as the crowd cheers him on. Sheik, not completely beaten yet, removes some sort of spike from his boot and jabs it into Freedom's face! Now in control, Sheik stomps Freedom, then shows his strength with various press slams and backbreakers which take their toll on his opponent. Closer investigation show a mean gash where Freedom got hit with the spike, and he's got some blood flowing from it. Sheik sees that blood and unmercifully begins to pound away on his head. After some more serious punishment, Freedom reverses a piledriver, and seems revitalized, with the sight of his blood reviving him. Freedom charges with clotheslines and dropkicks, which Sheik pulls himself up after, only to be dropped back down by another. Sheik falls once more, and Freedom readies for a big flying lariat, which knocks Sheik right over the top rope! Freedom summons strength from the crowd as Sheik tries to recover on the outside. As Sheik makes it up, Freedom reaches through the ropes to pull him back inside, but Sheik hurls a FIREBALL at him! Freedom falls right back down on the canvas, and Sheik makes him way back inside, with a crazed look on his face. Rather than pin Freedom, after all he just blasted him with FIRE, the seemingly psychotic Sheik begins to scream wildly as he stomps his opponent. Sheik then picks him up and does a vicious multiple backbreacker, as he screams obscenities at him. Sheik finally lets the bloody man fall, at which point, he starts doing jumping knee drops on his back, before clamping on the Camel Clutch. Freedom is unconscious, so the referee has no choice but to call for the bell.
*Winner and NEW SWF U.S. Champion* Ayatollah Sheik

Post Match: Sheik keeps the hold locked on, until the ref can pry him off. Sheik then looks at his hands, which are covered in his opponent's blood, and stares at them with a disturbing smile. He grabs his newly won belt, then smears the blood all over it, before holding it up to the crowd who sit in stunned silence.

We go backstage where The Billion Dollar Man enters Extreme Superstar's office. He finds Extreme and says thanks for making anything go tonight, because now he won't have to hear him cry about beating Silkky! Extreme looks really pissed, almost as if he is preparing to knock him out! But he simply says that BDM better hope he loses, because if he remains champion, he's got some things lined up to make his reign hell!

Cameras quickly cut to another ambush backstage, this time The Black Dragons and Suicide Brothers have stormed into Jaffe and Joe's dressing room, where the six are clubbing away on each other. A referee opts to start the match rather than try to break up the fiasco.

3 Team Elimination SWF Tag Team Title Match- The Black Dragons vs Suicide Brothers vs Cash Inc
The Suicides and Dragons appear to be working together, so they can eliminate Cash Inc first. Joe and Jaffe manage to fight back, even throw Mike Suicide at a locker! Joe and Jaffe use double clotheslines and some clubbing blows to escape the rather restrictive locker room, and in any attempt to leave, stagger down the hall to the cafeteria, in the opposite direction of the ring. Jack and the Dragons follow, and Mike is left behind, trying to recover from that hard slam into the locker. The five fight amongst the catering spread and tables, and Joe ends up bating Jack Suicide into a hard shot with a metal serving tray. Jaffe does his best to face the Dragons, and Joe, now free, rushes to help. The four fight it out, but when the Dragons get the better of it, Cash Inc again look to escape, and end up going back down the hall, and entering the first door they can find, which is the boiler room. It's a big two-tiered room, with the top level filled with maintenance equipment and is made of metal, not the sort of place you'd want to fight on. When Cash Inc see where they are, they immediately looks for a way out, but before they can go out the way they came in, Mike Suicide and The Black Dragons burst through the door and rush them! The angry Mike blindly charges, but Jaffe and Joe sidestep him, and he falls over the railing! The four men suddenly stop fighting to see what happened to Mike, and they look down to see him hurt, but luckily some boxes and things padded his fall. As the remaining men fight back out the door, the ref is there, having finally caught up with them. Under direst, Cash Inc end up running back the way they just came, where Jack Suicide rejoins the fight, finally getting up from that serving tray shot, and finding everyone. Cash Inc stop trying to fight, and begin to simply outrun their opponents, and they make a sharp turn down the last hallway, which leads them to the parking garage. They frantically look for a way out, and after realizing they forgot their keys in the dressing room, they hoof it out to the street! Unluckily for them, Jack, the Dragons, and the ref are not far behind, and they catch up to Cash Inc outside, where they were waiting to cross a busy intersection. The Dragons and Jack begin fighting the duo, and end up brawling down the street, and bump into a cabbie is loading a passenger's belongings into a taxi outside a nearby hotel. The poor cabbie and passenger rush inside the taxi, but in their fear, forgot to close the trunk, so Jaffe manages to load Jack into the open trunk, and slams it as the taxi speeds off with Jack trapped in the back! Now it's an even fight, and Cash Inc scurry back to the parking garage, where they hide behind cars, only to pop out at the Dragons! The Dragons retaliate, and they back them up into a row of cars, and Cash Inc opt to jump on and run on top of to escape! Their plan doesn't work, as the Dragons follow suit, and end up tackling the duo on the cars! Jaffe low blows Quow and DDTs him onto the roof of the car they are on, then helps Joe toss Shadow back, where he goes right through a car windshield! Quow is now the only man left, and out cold, but Cash Inc decide to spike piledrive him on a car anyways! Joe easily pins him, but they won't stop assaulting him!
*Winners and NEW SWF Tag Team Champions* Cash Inc

Post Match: Cash Inc continue beating up Quow, tossing him off the car, then picking him up and ramming him head first into the driver's side window! That was sick!

We head to the ring where Petey is standing , all smiles, ready to address the crowd:

Petey: You may be wondering why I'm so happy, well I'm not going to be fighting Octane alone, my good buddy JuJu has got my back!
(JuJu's music hits but he doesn't come out and Petey looks worried, a production member runs out and whispers something to him and he looks scared)

Petey(To the production guy, forgetting the mic in his hand): He left?!

Production Guy(the mic picks up the audio): He was excited about his win, and I guess he went to celebrate.

(Petey pouts, drops the mic and gets ready to leave, then Octane's music hits!)

Petey Pizzazz vs Octane
Petey stands frightened as Octane enters the ring. Octane wastes no time charging Petey, beating him back into a corner where he continues to pound away on him, even as Petey is out of it, just laying there. Octane pulls him out of the corner, and pulls Petey (who can't even stand) into a HARD clothesline. Octane watches Petey laying on the canvas, and the crowd begins to chant "Empty Tank! Empty Tank!" So, Octane lifts Petey up, and hold Petey WAAAY up in the air, and walks around the ring with him before killing him dead with the move. Yeah it's over, Petey could never have gotten up from THAT.
*Winner* Octane

As Octane leaves and Petey is dragged to the back, the steel cage lowers for the main event, then Extreme's music hits! He comes out, and takes a ringside seat, obviously wanting to see the match up close.

Main Event: Steel Cage SWF World Title Match- Billion Dollar Man vs Silkky Smooth
As he enters, BDM gets up on the cage, then exchanges words with Extreme. Extreme simply tells him to turn around, as Silkky sneaks up and begins beating him, knocking him off the cage. Silkky whips BDM like nobody's business, but BDM finds a way to come back, and controls with technical wrestling. Silkky comes back and almost nails a Silkky Slam, but BDM kicks him low. There are several escape attempts by both men, but they can't seem to get out. The action picks up when BDM floors Silkky and tries to escape through the door. Seeing Silkky begin to stir, BDM gets impatient with the ref, who is trying to undo the padlock and chain that holds it closed. As the ref gets it, BDM's forceful pushing swings it right into the ref's face! Silkky gets up before BDM can get out though, and as he fight with BDM, the ref lays out cold, and Extreme is forced to get up and close the door. Extreme seems to have taken control of the match, in the absence of the regular referee. After some more fighting , BDM manages to hook on the Billion Dollar Dream, and then drop Silkky back, making it a Cobra Clutch Bomb. BDM has the chance to leave now, but instead of going over the top, he wants to piss Extreme off by going out the door, knowing he now controls it! BDM smirks confidently and demands the door to be opened, but will Extreme do it? Extreme is upset, but he reluctantly opens it, and BDM walks out for the win.
*Winner and STILL SWF World Champion* The Billion Dollar Man

Post Match: BDM Celebrates, and Extreme walks out angry, with BDM still being champ, but doing it fair, and rubbing it in his face.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FOLKS, WHATEVER IT IS YOU MAY CELEBRATE!

END OF SHOW